Hey, you know what?  Best Film this year doesn't have either Assassination of Jessie James or Zodiac on it.  Fuck you, motion picture arts and sciences.  Fuck you for putting Juno and goddamned motherfucking Atonement ahead of these.  Fuck you straight up your retarded gay ass, which makes sense, as the only people who actually care about the Oscars are, in fact, totally gay.  The only way I was able to keep my dick from flying into another man last year was by playing Bubble Bobble with my girlfriend during the commercials.

I'm also kind of pissed by the lack of recognition for Mark Ruffalo in Zodiac but the Best Supporting Actor category was SO STRONG that I can't really work up too much hate.  Definitely not as much hate as I can work up over everything else.

You guys all suck balls.  I've been busy watching classics like The Big Doll House and Desert Heat while you're off with your fancy DVDs and shit.  And also a lot of Quantum Leap.  Did you know that he lept into the body of a retard?  The lesson I learned is that as long as Scott Bakula is possessing a retard, they can do anything.