Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[A²]

As shown in the shit days thread, I'm dealing with an extra-special relative. An extended discussion with an extremely callous person made me wonder what the rest of you thought: When is it okay to fight something, and when do you just let things take their toll?

I'm incapable of doing anything as far as I know. I'm a grandchild, not a direct relation to the deceased, so the most I can do is just yell loudly. To my knowledge I can't do anything legally. My father and mother want nothing to do with it, despite my insistence - My mother's cancer and my dad's back problem, they just want to let the whole shitstorm embroil itself. They don't want to get caught up.

But even then, should they be fighting it? Or is this even something that can be discussed as a "They should" or "They shouldn't?"

[Mongrel]

Well, fighting is not just a matter of who's in the right or whether you think it's worth it or not. You also have to consider a person's capacity to fight. In a fistfight, that may mean strength of arms, in your current case, that could mean having the money and time to engage a lawyer with a reasonable chance of winning against any lawyers your relatives might hire. In any kind of case, endurance is important.

My gut reaction is that your parents are right, but this may not necessarily be correct. If the money involved is large enough (or needed badly enough), if your relatives are stupid enough, the relative will and strength of your parents. All these things could affect your scenario.

I guess I can't really say. Just don't conflate a desire for vengeance with a need to win an unwinnable fight.

[Detonator]

If someone believes the potential positives outweigh the potential negatives, then they should fight.

This is entirely subjective, and extremely difficult to assess, but I don't know any better way to put it.  My personal opinion is meaningless because what may be important to me may not be important to someone else.

Since you can't affect anything directly, I think the best thing you can do is support your parents' decision and not add to their stress by insisting they do something even though they don't want to.  It sounds like they have enough stress in their lives, so I can understand their position.  They can cut off all contact with these relatives and move on.

[Burrito Al Pastor]

It is right to fight when you are fighting for your right to party.

[Classic]

As much as I also want to throttle your extended relatives, I think you need to let this particular one go.
Not because it's unwinnable, but because it leads to the dark side. Not the cool Kreia style dark side either, the cackling uber-villain dark side ala Malak.

[Büge]

I don't know all the data, so I can't make a proper judgement, Lyrai. But it seems to me that this is one of those things that, if you start this fight, it's going to get nasty. Your opponents will fight dirty, because (based on what you've told us) they have more experience at it. You don't seem like the kind of person to want to make things worse than they are.

If someone believes the potential positives outweigh the potential negatives, then they should fight.

This is entirely subjective, and extremely difficult to assess, but I don't know any better way to put it.  My personal opinion is meaningless because what may be important to me may not be important to someone else.

Since you can't affect anything directly, I think the best thing you can do is support your parents' decision and not add to their stress by insisting they do something even though they don't want to.  It sounds like they have enough stress in their lives, so I can understand their position.  They can cut off all contact with these relatives and move on.

That scene from War Games

[Bongo Bill]

Need to find out if it's your fight, whether it's worth the other consequences of stepping on the toes that you will necessarily step on by fighting, and - how much it is worth to whomever or whatever you'll be fighting against.

[Brentai]

Are you prepared to fight them until they croak?  Because that seems the most likely scenario with people who hold a grudge for this long.

[Mongrel]

I don't know if it's a grudge per se. Granted, I don't know these people, but from the way Lyrai's been telling it, these people just sound like greedy, opportunistic assholes with no regard for anyone but themselves.

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems like Buge's concern that they will fight as dirty as dirty gets is more relevant than Brent's concern about the length of time they are prepared to fight.

[A²]

The grandmother doesn't even really have that much. She wasn't poor, but she wasn't wealthy by any sense of the word.

When my dad asked as he was leaving the funeral if he could go by her house to get something, anything as a memento, she said no. She wanted everything.