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Author Topic: Request for feedback on possible fiction idea  (Read 914 times)

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Pacobird

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Request for feedback on possible fiction idea
« on: January 28, 2010, 05:30:50 PM »

Some of you may recall a short story or two I posted a while back, on which I received a lot of positive feedback.  I've been silent since then, because I have been mulling over ideas for a book.

In a lot of ways, I'm considering rehashing the thesis/antithesis/synthesis structure of the protagonist facing a fall, isolation, and then coming to terms with the new reality and more importantly, finding some new purpose in the midst of disillusionment.  I didn't quite know how to frame the various ideas I had floating around into a strong narrative, until it hit me yesterday, when J.D. Salinger died.

I've quoted Mr. Andolini before, but I haven't addressed his answer to the problem of disillusionment that he proposes: you are not the first person to see the world as a dark and hateful place, nor will you be the last.  The best of those who came before you recorded their pain for you to learn from; perhaps one might consider rising to the challenge of posterity oneself.

So, with this idea of the interminacy of the existential problem in mind, I want to set up a narrative as a parallel to the Epic of Gilgamesh.  Protagonist starts strong, full of hope, and with the love and support of those around him (our Enkidu) goes to face a great challenge or fulfill an ambition.  When the challenge is vanquished, however, and the truth is revealed, either the ambition was essentially meaningless itself or the protagonist outright fails.  Humbaba cries in the stocks as the Bull of Heaven tears Ur apart, and Gilgamesh no longer knows himself.

Enkidu vanishes, but the only gods responsible for his "death" is Gilgamesh's broken pride; the protagonist shuts himself off from those who love him because he no longer considers himself a man worth loving.  At his lowest, he begins a journey to seek Utnapishtim (whom I'm not quite sure how to play yet), and is confronted by the ghost of Enkidu; his support network has moved on.

etc. etc.
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LaserBeing

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Re: Request for feedback on possible fiction idea
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2010, 05:50:03 PM »

Sounds fine, but I think it needs some kind of inciting incident beyond just deciding to go on an adventure. Usually the protagonist begins in a state where something is wrong with or missing from their lives, even if they don't realise it. Gilgamesh at the beginning of the story is a tyrant despised by his own people.
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Pacobird

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Re: Request for feedback on possible fiction idea
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2010, 05:53:15 PM »

Gilgamesh goes off to slay Humbaba because he holds such a high opinion of himself that he believes he can conquer the unconquerable (note Enkidu's serious misgivings about the endeavor, ending in his death).
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LaserBeing

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Re: Request for feedback on possible fiction idea
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2010, 05:56:39 PM »

Enkidu himself was sent by the gods to kill Gilgamesh, thereby providing Gilgamesh with the impetus to go stick it to those high-falutin' deities in the first place.

Anyway I think story structure is all well and good but you haven't really said what your story is actually about so it's hard to give feedback! I don't think you will know if it is good or not until you just start writing it.
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