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[Guild]

heal defenestration and leave

It works and you retreat to the space room...

[NexAdruin]

wait for the trap

[Beat Bandit]

Attempt to win at a game of golf while sending a trio of squirrel scouts back into the space room and west into the granite butt room to see if anything has changed.

[Defenestration]

I place the fire eyeball in the top one, my lottery ticket in the left one, lucky dice in the right, and earth one in the bottom. I aim my nerf gun to where the genie appears and attempt to shoot him before he shoots me this time.

[the asshole you hate]

Attempt to win at a game of golf while sending a trio of squirrel scouts back into the space room and west into the granite butt room to see if anything has changed.

You make -2 on the course your first time on and win a small trophy. The squirrels report that everything looks normal.

Exits: E, S and W.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[the asshole you hate]

I place the fire eyeball in the top one, my lottery ticket in the left one, lucky dice in the right, and earth one in the bottom. I aim my nerf gun to where the genie appears and attempt to shoot him before he shoots me this time.

The genie appears and you explode him into green goop. There was a key in his head. A keyhole appears in the red statue.



Picking up the key, you insert it into the pedestal. A door opens and you walk inside.

[NexAdruin]

south east into the puzzle room and through the door

[the asshole you hate]

Defenestration: You're standing in an office. There are papers on the desks and dust coats everything. The papers are about cryogenics and cloning. You find several hundred papers with your own name on them, along with several thousand files on people you've never met. Nobody's been in this room in at least a dozen years, if not far, far longer.

Exploring further, you find a back door that has been dead bolted. Peeking in you see banks of cryogenic freezers full of bodies lined up on shelves with monitoring equipment linked to each pod.

You shatter the window with a chair and reach past the broken glass to turn the bolt. A sound in the corner of the room that is so familiar stops you in your tracks as the door creeps open...

whrrrrrrr... click.

"You. Defenestration. You did it. Congratulations! Go ahead and pick out the files and dossiers on anyone you want to bring out with you."

You see that there are files on NexAdruin, Zaratustra, Beat Bandit, Ocksi, Mothra and everyone else who played. The camera seems to be waiting for you to name some names.

[Defenestration]

I vote for the survival of NexAdruin for the convenience, Beat Bandit for the kingdom that he will act as merely a figurehead to dictate my wishes to in return for his life, my enormous golf trophy for being shiny, and Ocksi for being a bro.

The rest may burn for the lack of their lack of survival instinct and wish to go on. I take a seat in the chair, propping up a desk to use as a footstool, and then watch what happens, smoking a cigarette if I can find one in the office.

[the asshole you hate]

The camera raises up slightly and a laser gun drops from the ceiling. It shoots you dead where you stand.

whrrrrrrr... click.

Wake up! Hi Defenestration. I'm just waking you up to inform you that one of your clones finally made it to level 2. You're still young yet. If your DNA manages to make it to level 10 before you die we might even use it to breed you some kids! Then we can clone your kids and run the clones through the labyrinths! Aren't you happy to be so helpful to humanity? On the other hand, you'll only survive another XXX ERROR DATA REDACTED XXX years in cryogenic sleep before your brain is too far gone for us to talk to you this way. And now back to the fantasy you were involved in. Good luck!

Congratulations to Defenestration, NexAdruin, Beat Bandit and Ocksi for winning Vengeance of the Labyrinth!

[Defenestration]

Where's my enormous golf trophy in that splash message

[the asshole you hate]

Where's my enormous golf trophy in that splash message

It's sitting atop your clone's corpse, shiny and golden.

[the asshole you hate]

I'll post the entire solution tonight or tomorrow when I'm back on my home computer. In the meantime, if anyone wants to share their maps, I'd absolutely LOVE to see them. Karma me if you liked this game!