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Author Topic: Worst Pets Ever  (Read 42442 times)

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Lady Duke

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #20 on: December 12, 2008, 05:25:59 PM »

I like snakes but if I ever had one, it would have to be small enough that it didn't eat mice, because I could never feed a snake a mouse.  Sure, fine, in the wild, go for it and eat mice Mr. Snake, but not where I have to see or hear you doing it  :sadpanda:
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Guild

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #21 on: December 12, 2008, 06:23:08 PM »

I like the details of cats; I like the IDEA of cats.

I just hate them.

A) I'm allergic, and ever since I stopped flicking them sharply on the nose for even approaching me (self-preservation prior to my allergy largely disappearing), they seem to B) want to leap onto my lap and headbutt me like I'm catnip.

The only exception for my cat distaste is Mamakitty, my sister's former cat (now mine).

For starters, she is OCD about cleaning herself: I don't think I've ever seen a single hair left behind when she gets up from a spot, despite being a longhair. Her fur is always super fluffy and clean.

She's the gentlest cat I've ever met. My brother has literally thrown her across rooms and sat on her and tweaked her tail and god knows what all, and that cat has never, EVER even unsheathed a claw. I saw him one day pick her up by the ears. She just hung there and looked at him like, "Hey, wussup? Can I sit on your lap now?"

But.

This cat simply is addicted to laying atop me. In any position available. Even if there's no space at ALL for a cat-sized thing to lay comfortably upon me, she will perch on my knee or lay half-on, half-off me, purring like a goddamn lawnmower. I'm doubly annoyed when she cleans herself atop me, which is around 50% of the time she's awake.

My dog remains the only totally redeeming pet I've ever owned. She's loyal, smart and best of all she doesn't try to jump on me or lick me or otherwise bug me. She follows me everywhere, stays out of my way, and thinks I'm Jesus' second coming.

If I could put the brain of my dog into this cat I think I would. So long as I got to keep my dog too, of course.
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Kazz

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #22 on: December 12, 2008, 07:04:57 PM »

at least that cat likes you.  cats like to attack me because i smell like dog.
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Rosencrantz

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #23 on: December 12, 2008, 09:31:36 PM »

Now, I love mice and would gladly keep one as a pet. There is, however, a Natural Geographic Special sort of fascination about seeing a snake eat a mouse... well, more accurately, hunt the mouse. I don't like seeing a snake stretched wide open to swallow something cute.

When the mouse is placed in the cage, it starts to calm down and explore its new surroundings. The snake quickly figures out what's going on, and slowly - very slowly - slithers behind the mouse. Eventually, the snake is RIGHT BEHIND the mouse, who is blissfully unaware. The mouse finally stops, pauses, then turns around and then BAM the snake is wrapped around it and squeezing the life out of it.

In fact, it's somewhat similar to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx6X_VLtfIc&feature=related
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Lady Duke

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2008, 08:42:32 PM »

Oh meeses.
Kazz and I saw a very pretty corn snake today at Petco.  Also many, many cute dogs, including a very tiny little chihuahua that was afraid of everything.
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Thad

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2008, 10:23:43 PM »

My favorite part of Snakes on a Plane was where Simon Cowell fed Paris Hilton's chihuahua to the python.
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Lady Duke

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2008, 10:31:56 PM »

That movie turned my stomach.  I've never felt so nauseated while watching a movie; I wouldn't watch it again.  Oh wait, I thought of another movie that churned my stomach that much--Dead Alive.

Chihuahuas are cute sometimes.  But only when they aren't the most yappy little things ever. 
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Thad

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2008, 11:09:19 PM »

In other words, when they're being digested by pythons.
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Burrito Al Pastor

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #28 on: December 14, 2008, 10:49:06 AM »

You'd think being digested would make them yap MORE.
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Friday

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #29 on: December 14, 2008, 12:15:08 PM »

Apologies to anyone here who has a small dog who isn't a complete shit.

I do not understand why people get and have small dogs. They are complete shits.

"Hey Bob, I want to get an alarm that goes off with a high-pitched yelping noise whenever anyone does anything! And also, sometimes it just goes off for no reason. I really like subjecting all of my house guests to 10 goddamn fucking minutes of being barked at whenever they come over!"
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Spaco

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2008, 12:31:14 PM »

I've always wanted to get a miniature pot-bellied pig, but I keep hearing these horror stories of them all not staying miniature and getting huge. Anyone here ever had one or known someone who did?
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Arc

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2008, 12:39:59 PM »

Just fatten up a complete shit.



ARF ARF ARF ARF *gasp* ARF ARF *pant* ARF *wheeze*
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King Klown

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2008, 06:34:27 PM »

Apologies to anyone here who has a small dog who isn't a complete shit.

I do not understand why people get and have small dogs. They are complete shits.

"Hey Bob, I want to get an alarm that goes off with a high-pitched yelping noise whenever anyone does anything! And also, sometimes it just goes off for no reason. I really like subjecting all of my house guests to 10 goddamn fucking minutes of being barked at whenever they come over!"

I have four dachshunds and a beagle. We live next a park, that is literally cut from our house by a metal fence. The park is full of deer and other assorted animals of nature.  :facepalm:

They do all that you mentioned and more.   ::(:

But we love them to death, because they're adorable, earning forgiveness in kisses and cuddles.

Quote
One of our cats (the only male, and the biggest attention whore) peed on my bed today. And I just found out as I crawled into bed to sleep. The stain is the size of a fucking pizza.  :MENDOZAAAAA:

I've had my two cats for nearly 7 years, and they've never done anything like that. Until tonight, after reading the post about terrible cats; I found vomit in my bed.  :facepalm:
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Lady Duke

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2008, 08:37:16 PM »

I'm with Guild on all the cats stuff, including allergies etc.  But cats love me and always want me to pet them and always want to sit in my lap and put their tail on my face.  It's very sad.

And my dog is little, but I didn't pick him out or want him when we first had him.  My dearly departed Rosie was very old and unhappy with him so I was also unhappy with him.  And then she died and I got to know little Finn and he was awesome and has grown more awesome with age.  He does amazingly hilarious things, and the only issue I have with him is his barking.  I just cannot figure out how one gets a Jack Russell to shut the fuck up.  I can get him to quiet down usually, but not all the time. 

But really, he is great and loving and he cuddles with me at night, and he plays and amuses me at great length.  He makes me feel better when I'm anxious and he's great for carrying around the house if I want to.  And he pretends to swim if you hold him over an empty bath tub, and he cocks his head to the side all the time.  I just love him to death.
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François

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2008, 08:49:08 PM »

I'm trying to figure out where exactly in your post you stopped talking about your dog and started talking about Kazz.
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Lady Duke

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2008, 08:53:22 PM »

That way all about my dog.  Dogs are comforting and he's little so he lays right up against me for warmth.  He even sleeps under his own blanket.
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jsnlxndrlv

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #36 on: May 15, 2009, 03:02:58 PM »

So, I just found out my cat has diabetes.  I found this out because he was going into some sort of ketoacidosis-induced coma.  Not sure if he'll make it through the weekend.
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Büge

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #37 on: May 15, 2009, 04:00:45 PM »

*Büge hugs Newbie
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Romosome

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #38 on: May 15, 2009, 04:11:11 PM »

hugs for Newbie, yeah.

That sucks.  My thoughts are with you.
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Rosencrantz

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Re: Worst Pets Ever
« Reply #39 on: May 15, 2009, 04:18:45 PM »

My fiancee insisted that I give you our condolences. Sorry man.
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