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Author Topic: What I learned today!  (Read 194919 times)

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Mongrel

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2280 on: June 08, 2012, 11:43:52 AM »

Tell the truth, it bogges the mind that no-one (that I know of) is just straight up offering a 100%-bacon "burger".
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Büge

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2281 on: June 08, 2012, 12:49:12 PM »

Wouldn't that be really, really salty?
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TA

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2282 on: June 08, 2012, 12:50:36 PM »

No saltier than ordinary bacon.

I think the issue is more that it'd be way too fatty to produce a proper burger.  Also: crunchy.
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Mongrel

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2283 on: June 08, 2012, 01:58:43 PM »

You guys are thinking way too practically for the new monstrous food-porn world we live in. Just fry up a ton of bacon and compress it into a briquette of sorts.

I.E. plain old bacon, only burger-shaped.
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Brentai

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2284 on: June 08, 2012, 02:17:36 PM »

Bacon is pretty much the zombies of food.  Sure, everybody loves it, but if your solution is just "add more!" then you're just flexing your considerable lack of imagination at the world.
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R^2

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2285 on: June 08, 2012, 02:43:58 PM »

Don't be silly. You don't just fry up a huge patty of bacon.

You lattice bacon around a monstrous wedge of cheese and fry that, so that when you bite through three or four layers of crispy-to-chewy bacon woven together you also get a big glob of cheese filling.
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Shinra

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2286 on: June 08, 2012, 03:01:41 PM »

No saltier than ordinary bacon.

I think the issue is more that it'd be way too fatty to produce a proper burger.  Also: crunchy.

Most of the fat renders out during cooking and bacon is only crunchy if you cook it until it's crisp. Bacon really is too salty to make into whole patties unless it's uncured, in which case it's not really bacon, it's smoked ham! You could certainly do a burger made entirely out of pork belly, but the problem there is that it wouldn't taste much like a burger or much like bacon. And there's the problem - when you take all the beef out of the equation, is it really a burger anymore?

Personally I don't really think bacon has a place on or around a hamburger. I know Bacon is a pretty standard staple burger topping, but I find that it's impossible to tell it's there if you have lettuce and tomato on the burger, in which case it's just another 50 cents tacked onto the cost of the sandwich. If you're going to cut the beef patty with anything, cut it with sausage. 50/50 ground round and pork sausage is fucking amazing and most of the burger shops in Oklahoma make their burgers this way. Other burgers just don't compare. Seriously, you haven't had a hamburger until you've had one made in Oklahoma. We might have a lot of really stupid rednecks and a really intolerant and awful state government but we know how to make a god damn hamburger out here.
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Royal☭

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2287 on: June 08, 2012, 03:12:21 PM »

My chest hurts for some reason.

Shinra

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2288 on: June 08, 2012, 03:21:52 PM »

Well, the 50/50 sausage burger isn't appreciably worse than a normal hamburger since they tend to use very lean ground beef in it's construction. The lean beef offsets the fatty sausage. The sodium content is probably unbelievable though.
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Romosome

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2289 on: June 08, 2012, 03:52:47 PM »

The 50/50 patty is just sort of a curiosity at Slater's, honestly. They're "Burgers By Design". You go there to build your own burger out of their big crazy list of potential ingredients.
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Nickasummers

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2290 on: June 08, 2012, 04:55:44 PM »

Today I learned that a lot of people think in exactly the same way I do. Or a lot of people joke about bacon. I'm hoping its like-mindedness though.
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François

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2291 on: June 08, 2012, 05:23:44 PM »

Love of bacon is a universal constant. Once we make contact with an extra-terrestrial species and establish trade routes, Earth will get disgustingly filthy rich on bacon exports alone.
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Büge

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2292 on: June 08, 2012, 06:52:45 PM »

Or the aliens will develop a taste for cured human belly meat.
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Malikial

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2293 on: June 08, 2012, 06:53:50 PM »

My... sister hates bacon and can't stand the smell of it cooking. SO YOU ARE WRONG.
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François

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2294 on: June 08, 2012, 06:59:02 PM »

No, it is your sister who is wrong.
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Mongrel

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2295 on: June 08, 2012, 07:01:20 PM »

Turn the unbeliever into bacon!
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Lottel

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2296 on: June 08, 2012, 07:05:53 PM »

Bad time to say so but...
Bacon is gross, you guys.
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Brentai

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2297 on: June 08, 2012, 07:47:07 PM »

No don't, they'll turn you into

...

LOOK OUT!
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Ted Belmont

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2298 on: June 08, 2012, 07:55:31 PM »

Yeah, bacon is pretty gross. Sorry, internet! Looks like you'll have to find a new joke to oh who am I kidding
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: What I learned today!
« Reply #2299 on: June 10, 2012, 10:28:03 AM »

Apparently you can make brownies out of black beans and dates that are indistinguishable from regular ol' brownies.

My mind has been blown.
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