...right then!
I'm not quite keen about the name, but I'm sure it'll set up for some HIGH-LARIOUS jokes later on.
Now that Goku has identified himself to his unseen interrogator, the door opens, and out pops Generic Buddies #1, #2, and #3.
They wonder where "the boss" is, and suddenly!
OH GOD. THEY GOT HIM. THE DRAGONSPORES GOT HIM.
Final Fantasy IX introduces an interesting concept: monsters with multiple items. Obviously, the bosses of the game hold the best stuff. Thorough stealing will net you some really nice items for your point in the game.
See, I got this Mage Masher, a stronger weapon for Goku!
Oh, thank god! I saved the boss from the Dragonspores...wait what?
...Only one conclusion can come from this. Goku and his buddies are obviously Mr. Fabulous Gay Leader's harem.
Right...so that's what they call it these days...
...Oh, okay. I got the wrong idea. These cats want are kidnapping the princess? Everything I know about RPGs is WRONG!
So, what's Goku's role in this whole thing?
Hmm...
Mahahaha.
Okay, got it. He's obviously trying to camoflage his sexuality.
Anyway, the airship moors on the Alexandria Castle's lawn, which is witnessed by a particular boy. He's particular for 2 reasons. First, the camera centers on him. Second...
He's a freakin' black mage.
Okay. The title screen for reals. NOW the game begins.
Black Mage Fall Down count: 1
A kind little girl helps the black mage up and gives him his ticket to the performance tonight back, and I take the opportunity to tweak the settings a little bit, speeding up battles, etc. I switched the text boxes and stuff to blue to help make the text show up a little easier.
Final Fantasy IX features a shitton of items just laying about all over the place, signified by a thought bubble with a question mark or exlamation point hovering over the character's head.
Thanks, Grandma!
Black Mage Fall Down count: 2
Jerk.
Anyway, let's go turn our ticket in to get in to the show!
What the...GOD DAMN IT. It's a fake? What the shit is that?
The ticket taker is nice, however, and gives Black Mage a few trading cards, drops the name 'Alleyway Jack', and sends him on his way.
Let's skip rope and be totally hetero!
Fuck.
What?
FUCK. To hell with this noise.
Black Mage Fall Down count: 3
Dante here decides to take off, and who should show up but...
...this jerk. He taunts BM about the fact that he can't get in to the show with his phony ticket, then he drops a proposition.
...uh, what? Well, this turns in to a "BUT THOU MUST!" scenario, so BM decides to play along. His first assignment, a lookout. Rat Boy steals Dante's ladder and dashes off down the alley. Instead of being a dutiful servant, I tary for a bit, and run in to (gasp!) Alleyway Jack in an alley! True to the ticket booth guy's word, he teaches me about Tetra Master, the card game played the world over!
(I lost my recording footage of this part, but I won, damn it.)
Anyway, since there isn't much else to do here, BM runs along and follows Rat Boy to a small chapel on a sidestreet of Alexandria. Rat Boy orders Black Mage to go up the ladder, but a moogle falls on him! (Black Mage Fall Down count: 4) Black Mage receives a quick primer about the Moogle saving system, and Mognet, the postal system that has completely failed so hard that they enlist BM's help.
Anyway, I save the game, and then go up the ladder and outside, where Rat Boy leads Black Mage across the rooftops. Then, a thought occurs to Rat Boy.
Hm!
Alright. YOU know what to do!
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