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[A²]

I yell at the Robotic Goat Man

"THE NEXT SENTENCE IS FALSE
"THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE IS TRUE"

I collect what poles, coins, spears, and crowns that I can without entering the Goat-Man's Domain, and without setting off traps that I know about that I have seen Nikus and Kazzs trigger.

I check to see what spells I have memorized.

I hate to seem like I'm grabbing so soon, Guild, but I just have a hell of a time with text directions. If it's not too much of a bother, could I grab that map?

[Guild]

Naturally.

Lyrai: whrrrrrrr... click.

Thanks for your participation in this experiment. Have a nice day.

Your body explodes in a gory mess.

You have died.

[A²]

I was going to offer myself to the Labyrinth as an NPC. :(

[Lunartick]

I enter the labyrinth and go SW, SW, SW.

[Kazz]

I fashion the golden dragon's head into a helmet, such that it looks like I am a man with the head of a golden dragon.

[The Artist Formerly Known As Yoji]

...well, crap. At least I've removed any illusions of defense at this point. Go South

[Guild]

Lunartick: You enter and go SW into the octagonal room, then SW again into the room with three levers. You go SW once more, and a robogoat cleaves you in half with a giant axe.

You are dead.

whrrrrrrr... click.

I should start charging admission to the goat man's room...

--------

Kazz III: You spend some time hammering the gold thinner to stretch it to fit your head. It makes a surprisingly decent helmet, though it's very heavy.

Exits: SW.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin, a gold Dragon Head helmet.

--------

Yoji: You descend the stairs and return to the octagonal room.

Exits: N, NE, E, SE, S, SW, W and NW.

Items: None.

[Brentai]

I enter the labyrinth, go sw, sw, look at the goat-man, look at the room full of gold, realize that a whole bunch of gold is only going to make it harder to exit the labyrinth, and fuck off somewhere else.

[Guild]

Brentai: You enter the labyrinth. A statue of a strange creature made of gold is in this room, fire billowing fom its tube-like head. You head SW into an octagonal room with eight exits. You head SW again into a room with three levers. Several bodies litter the floor in this room, and several more are scattered around the robogoat.

Exits: NE and SW.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin.

[Kazz]

I break my ten foot pole into tiny chunks and light them on fire, then stuff them in the jaw of my helmet.  Then I go sw, sw, and scare the goat man with my fire breath because I'm TROGDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

[Brentai]

get pole, get coin, ne

and which way haven't we gone, w?  w.

[Guild]

Kazz III: The goat-man seems less than impressed. He grinds his axe back and forth against the ceiling, showering his room with sparks. He looks anxious to cleave your flesh.

Exits: NE and SW.

Items: A burning helmet, 1 gold coin.

--------

Brentai: You are standing in an octagonal room with eight exits.

N: A stairwell. The boards are rickety and look a bit unsafe.
NE: The broken-off tail of a neck monster with leprosy breathing fire.
E: A five-foot tall chicken in a cage. The cage bars are spaced so that it can peck the floor without being able to escape. Within range of its pecks, on the floor, lies a mallet. There is another door beyond the room with the chicken, and through that you can see wavy mirrors.
SE: A room full of mounted suits of armor. Studded leather, chain, full plate... it's all there. A D&D nerd's wet dream... no weapons though.
S: A golden stripe is painted on the floor of this nondescript room. It leads into the next room beyond, where it splits into four and heads in unknown directions.
SW: This room seems empty save three levers on the NW wall. The door opposite reveals a goat man, guarding a dead body.
W: A single sandwich rests on a pedestal under a glass dome. It looks completely delicious.
NW: A room with black, green, red and yellow tiles. Beyond it is a room full of charred bones.

You go west into a room containing a single sandwich on a pedestal under a glass dome. There is an exit to the W. Through the door to the W you see three guns on a gunrack, and that room also has an exit to the W.

Exits: E and W.

Items: 2 10-foot poles, 2 gold coins.

[Brentai]

I GO TO SANDVICH

[Brentai]

Hmm.  Idea.

w

[Guild]

Brentai: You travel W into the room with the gun rack. There are three rifles, each with a butt made of a different material. The gold one is etched with strange runes. The silver one has an image of a skull embossed upon the bottom. The crystal one is highly polished. The gold gun has no ammo loaded, but the other two are primed, safety off, ready to fire.

The room to the W of the gun room is full of preserved animals. You see deer, elk, lions, an elephant... a taxidermist's menagerie of African and other types of wildlife. There's even a dolphin hanging from the ceiling.

Exits: E and W.

Items: 2 10-foot poles, 2 gold coins.

[Brentai]

Let's saaaaaay crystal.

Get crystal gun.

[Guild]

Brentai: You take the crystal rifle off the rack.

Exits: E and W.

Items: 2 10-foot poles, 2 gold coins, a crystal-and-steel rifle, loaded.

[Brentai]

Awesome, I didn't explode.

Now, shoot east, through the glass dome protecting the sandwich.

[Guild]

Brentai: You hear a click... nothing happened. The rifle appears to be broken.

Exits: E and W.

Items: 2 10-foot poles, 2 gold coins, a broken, crystal rifle, loaded.

[Kazz]

ne, w, w, smash glass dome with face, consume sandvich with flaming dragon teefs