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[Kazz]

 

[Guild]

Yoji: You walk through the door and into the next room. This room looks identical to all the rooms you can now see through the exits, including the one behind you. When you turn around, you see that room has become a fractal gold + sign room as well. Now in every direction you look rooms split again and again and again, infinitely.

Exits: N, E, S and W.

Items: None.

--------

Kazz III: You pull the lever and the door slides open. Through it you can see a giant set of teeth pressed right up against the doorway. Putrid breath strikes you. The mouth gibbers a bit and then slides down, exposing a huge, yellow eye, crusted over with boogers and dirt. The eye shifts away and the mouth appears again, though you can only see a tiny part of it, you can tell this beast fills the room completely.

Exits: S and E.

Items: A golden helmet, 1 gold coin.

[Air]

WTF WTF I ENTER THE MAZE!

[Guild]

SoraCross: You enter the maze. A golden statue of a neckosaurus spewing flames sits in the center of the room you're standing in. To the SW you can see an eight-sided room with eight exits.

Exits: SW.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin.

[Air]

I use the golden statue to fashion a sword sharp enough to cut metal, than go S. (or SW if it reads one exit SW, and not two exits S and W like I think it does).

[Guild]

SoraCross: Struggle though you may, the best you manage to make is a long, flat bar of gold that might be good for whacking something on the head. You head SW into the octagonal room.

You walk past each exit, examining the rooms beyond.

N: A stairwell. The boards are rickety and look a bit unsafe.
NE: The broken-off tail of a neck monster with leprosy breathing fire.
E: A five-foot tall chicken in a cage. The cage bars are spaced so that it can peck the floor without being able to escape. Within range of its pecks, on the floor, lies a mallet. There is another door beyond the room with the chicken, and through that you can see wavy mirrors.
SE: A room full of mounted suits of armor. Studded leather, chain, full plate... it's all there. A D&D nerd's wet dream... no weapons though.
S: A golden stripe is painted on the floor of this nondescript room. It leads into the next room beyond, where it splits into four and heads in unknown directions.
SW: This room seems empty save three levers on the NW wall. The door opposite reveals a goat man, guarding something.
W: A single sandwich rests on a pedestal under a glass dome. It looks completely delicious.
NW: A room with black, green, red and yellow tiles. Beyond it is a room full of charred bones.

Exits: N, NE, E, SE, S, SW, W and NW.

Items: A gold sword-shaped lumpy bar, a 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin.

[The Artist Formerly Known As Yoji]

Wait... I think I might have an idea. The first room is north of here, right? North towards the first room

[Guild]

Yoji: The illusion (or was it?) fades away as you pass through the door. The familiar sight of the octagonal room reappears through the north exit as you enter this room, and the "imaginary" E and W rooms disappear.

Exits: N and S.

Items: None.

[The Artist Formerly Known As Yoji]

Wha... uh, hmm. Let's try this again. Go back South, then West.

[Guild]

Yoji: You head S. The room behind you fades away and becomes a fractal copy. You turn right to head W and just as you pass through the doorway your vision evaporates.

You have died.

whrrrrrrr... click.

Oh my, I bet that was disorienting. You want to know what happened? Well I don't feel like telling. Sorry! Feel free to re-enter the labyrinth, though. At least you'll get your coin back.

[Sharkey]

I enter the labyrinth, go sw, w, and touch Kazz with my ten foot pole. In the heart. Through the chest.

If for whatever reason I am not provided with a ten foot pole, I use my own natural anatomical gifts.

I pull on The Life and Times of Westwood Keen.

[Guild]

Sharkey: You enter and go SW into the octagonal room, then W into a hunter's trophy room, then W again into a burned out library. You stab at Kazz but he falls backward and then bounces back to his feet like an inflatable punching clown. You pull the W book and the door opens. Through it you see a graveyard. It seems you're outside the labyrinth... or are you? To the N of the graveyard on a hill is a tiny caretaker's shack. A low fence corrals the graveyard on the S and W sides. Beyond the fence a dense mist obscures everything.

To the south of the room you're in is a giant set of teeth blocking a doorway. To the east is a hunter's trophy room.

Exits: S, E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin.

[Sharkey]

Flip gold coin into stupid thing's mouth. Go west. Read gravestones. Relieve self on anyone I happen to know. Otherwise, N.

[Guild]

Sharkey: The monster gags a little and spits it back out. You step W into the murky graveyard. The gravestones read:

Niku
Niku II
Niku III
Niku IV
Niku V
Niku VI
Kazz
Kazz II
Kazz III
Lyrai
Lunartick
Yoji

You push the door to the caretaker's shack open and go N inside. It's a dirty hovel. The caretaker isn't at home, and it looks like he hasn't been home in years. A pile of things lies in the middle of the floor, including a somewhat shoddy gold crown, a gold coin and a 10-foot pole.

There's nothing else all that interesting in here.

Exits: S.

Items: A 10-foot pole.

[Defenestration]

I enter the maze. I head South West, and then East into the room with the giant chicken.

I attempt to drag the mallet over to myself with my pole without getting in pecking range.

[Guild]

Defenestration: You drag the mallet over to you and pick it up. It's made of rubber. To the E is a room full of funhouse mirrors. The chicken eyes you sardonically.

Exits: E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin, a rubber mallet.

[Defenestration]

I head west back into the octagon, then Southeast into the armor room. I find the set with the most bitchin' helmet and poke it from the safe distance of 10 feet with my pole.

[Guild]

Defenestration: The armor waggles as if made of plastic. You prod another cool set and it, too, is unusually light. All the armor is apparently made of plastic. Through the door to the SW you can see dozens of nude wax figures in various everyday poses.

Exits: SE and NW.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin.

[Defenestration]

I put on a set of full plastic plate, fix my ten foot pole to my back like a bastard sword, and brandish my rubber mallet.

I head Southwest into the wax figure room seeking an equally useless shield to finish the set.

[Guild]

Defenestration: You enter the naked wax figure room. Most of them are ugly elderly men. The two women in the room are radiantly beautiful and both are staring at a trollish old man with a hunched back, smiling secretively. There are two doors on the southern wall; through one (the one on the west side of the wall) you can see a shining silver sword stuck into a sheath held upright by a wooden stand. Around the sword buzz a large swarm of wasps or bees, you can't tell which. Through the other southern door (on the east side of the wall) is a teeter-totter, one end of which is down, attached to the bottom of which is a chain, hanging down through a hole in the floor. The chain is holding the teeter-totter in its current position, and is taught. The up-end is about four feet in the air. That room also has an exit leading E.

Exits: S1 (teeter-totter), S2 (bees and sword) and NW.

Items: A 10-foot pole, 1 gold coin, plastic armor (full plate), a rubber mallet.