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Author Topic: Zelda Blows  (Read 39516 times)

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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #300 on: September 10, 2011, 12:24:35 AM »

Gold Wiimote.

God damn it.
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Spram

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #301 on: September 11, 2011, 08:45:49 PM »

I played Red Dead Redemption and all the time I wished for a Zelda's overworld to be like that.
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Spram

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #302 on: September 15, 2011, 07:46:38 PM »

Hey bisches, have you seen the new Skyward Sword video?

I don't understand what it says but I can see:

* The return of the double clawshot/hookshot, gust jar, Wind Fish? and Minecarts.

* When Link gets an item he makes this face like if he's looking at a newborn. Also, his lips are too sexy.

* I swear I heard a word similar to "balance" when Link starts walking on a tightrope. I find it hard that Japanese doesn't have a word for balance? Same with "item".

* Zelda got back, also, red asses.

*Miyamoto is drawing a dick, no wait, a heart.

* What is that big black thing??

I really hope I actually like this game, I haven't given much a fuck about it because of the motion controls, the cartoony yet not-cool-like-Wind_Wanker graphics and the fact that nothing makes me happy anymore because I'm old but that video was neat. and old. Why don't you guys like Zelda more? It's the best damn series EVER PERIOD

also the game looks really gay
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Thad

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #303 on: September 16, 2011, 07:00:41 AM »

* I swear I heard a word similar to "balance" when Link starts walking on a tightrope. I find it hard that Japanese doesn't have a word for balance? Same with "item".

The Japanese LOVE English.  I assume they have words for "pocket" and "monsters", as well as "rock" and "man", but those games are named in English.  Even everyday terms like "milk" -- of course there's a Japanese word for "milk", but they use "milk" more commonly.

(Also apparently they didn't have a word for "heal" prior to Dragon Quest.  Now THAT'S odd.)
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Classic

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #304 on: September 16, 2011, 10:01:44 AM »

They have a word that sort of means "make well," but it doesn't apply specifically to fleshy things.
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #305 on: September 16, 2011, 12:23:11 PM »

Traditional Japanese vocabulary is only a few thousand words, many of which are things that only the traditional Japanese would care about, like rice paddies.  Everything else is either a compound or a generally descriptive phrase.

Drinking animal milk is a Western thing that they're still just coming to terms with, so no, there isn't "really" a word for it.  There's a term for breast milk but it seems to describe pretty specifically a human set of cockends so when it comes to cow's milk they'll either fall back on either a clumsy construct that literally translates to "moo juice", or they'll just say fucking "milk" if it's in a Western context anyway.

Whther they're in love with English or not, Zelda is a very Euro-Germanic themed series.  For the same reason Japanese people in our media always call their teachers "sensei" in the middle of an English sentence, the nips will try to stick with the appropriate grammatical flavor as often as it's universally understood. 
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Spram

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #306 on: September 16, 2011, 01:13:56 PM »

Zelda is a very Euro-Germanic themed series. 

Pretty sure Wind Wanker was very greek. I hate it when you germanics think everything is german. >:(
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #307 on: September 16, 2011, 08:46:20 PM »

Okay yes I'm sorry all the Zelda games except for that one are based on Germanic folklore.  And maybe Twilight Princess, I've only played it vicariously through porn.

Thanks for calling me a lowlander, by the way.  I'm pretty sure the proper response is to punch you in the blarneys.  C'mere and get yer shiner, ach.
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François

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #308 on: September 17, 2011, 12:09:01 AM »

I felt that Twilight Princess is about as Shinto as the series get; they've all but gotten rid of the demiurge goddesses, and the light spirits are basically nature kami. And if that wasn't Japanese enough, there's bona fide kaiju in it.
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Romosome

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #309 on: September 17, 2011, 02:45:38 AM »

I felt that Twilight Princess is about as Shinto as the series get; they've all but gotten rid of the demiurge goddesses, and the light spirits are basically nature kami. And if that wasn't Japanese enough, there's bona fide kaiju in it.

you're only saying that because you play as Amaterasu
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Spram

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #310 on: September 17, 2011, 12:22:12 PM »

Okay yes I'm sorry all the Zelda games except for that one are based on Germanic folklore.  And maybe Twilight Princess, I've only played it vicariously through porn.

Oh wait, you're right!



Fairies and Elves are Germanic, true. But The cross on link's NES shields? Roman. The Centaurs? Greco-Roman. The Triforce? It's a Japanese symbol, the Crescent moon and star in the fire temple on Ocarina of Time is Arabic (but was removed because it might offend Muslims, which is ridiculous), The Gerudo are Morrocan with Flamenco music. The Sheikah are obviously Jews. What else, let's see...

Octorocs:Sushi:Japan
The Temples in Zelda 2 are pretty Greek too
The village Link starts out in TP has montain goats, falconry and horse riding... Mongolians.
The guards in Hyrule castle (OoT) have fruity Vatican-like uniforms.
The little leprechaun with the two hats in the train game is Irish.
Are there Pyramids in Zelda games? Oh why yes! Egyptian-like Pyramids!

Basically Zelda mixes the mythology of different cultures as long as they're not black. Unless you're this kid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VytoAoSAzM&feature=player_detailpage#t=472s
Skip to 7:55

Ok, so Link is an elf and that's germanic mythology so.. wait, he's not an elf, he's HYLIAN.


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Bongo Bill

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #311 on: September 17, 2011, 12:53:59 PM »

The origin of the mythological elements is not as important as the themes represented in their use. Examples:

Link to the Past has a magical other world dominated by capricious and malicious entities, in which ordinary people usually become trapped when they get the rare chance to enter at all, though the hero gains the protection of powers that dwell there and can traverse it freely. That particular depiction of it is rather Celtic, while the more mythological depiction of that realm in Ocarina of Time is comparable to the more strictly Germanic Asgard or Vanaheim, and the idea of losing time by being trapped in a supernatural other dimension echoes the story of Oisín in Tir na nÓg and many other predominantly European stories of travel to other worlds. The depiction of actual elves/fairies/etc. in the series is very distinctly Germanic as well. Speaking of Tir na nÓg, compare with Koholint.

Magic swords themselves show up more often and are afforded greater importance in western European legends than anywhere else. Given revered status and explicitly virtuous powers, stuck in rocks to await their proper owners, that sort of thing. Godly weapons are universal, but the way they are treated in Zelda is very western. This is perhaps most clear in Minish Cap, which has the Picori, who are basically Germanic dwarves mixed with Celtic brownies or Slavic domovoi.

Some mythological references are more universal. Ocarina of Time is basically the monomyth in video game form, even going so far as to include a literal belly of a whale and a trip to the underworld with a boat ride. Wind Waker's great sea has an antecedent in most cultures' myths of a global deluge, which of course goes back to Gilgamesh.
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patito

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #312 on: September 17, 2011, 12:54:43 PM »

I'm sorry but all hylians look like elves to me.
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #313 on: September 17, 2011, 01:02:32 PM »

Okay yes I'm sorry all the Zelda games except for that one are based on Germanic folklore.  And maybe Twilight Princess, I've only played it vicariously through porn.

Oh wait, you're right!



I may be misreading your implication here considering that there are two obvious reasons why that's stupid and it's two posts after you whined about people using racial slurs.

Anyway, I guess I should have done this in the first place, too:

Zelda is a very Euro-Germanic themed series. 

Pretty sure Wind Wanker was very greek. I hate it when you germanics think everything is german. >:(

Can you tell me where Greece is?  I'll give you a hint, it's not called the fucking Africa-zone crisis.

Oh, wait, now this is the part where you re-point out the random side elements like Ganon's Incan pyramid and the Gerudo as evidence that it's not 100% centered on a single mythology as proof of... what, that it doesn't make sense to assume that the forest elf wielding an arming sword and escutcheon is more likely to speak a Western dialect than an Eastern one?  Let me save you some embarrassment by giving you some very good advice.

Shut up, Spram.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #314 on: September 17, 2011, 01:16:48 PM »

Magic swords themselves show up more often and are afforded greater importance in western European legends than anywhere else. Given revered status and explicitly virtuous powers, stuck in rocks to await their proper owners, that sort of thing. Godly weapons are universal, but the way they are treated in Zelda is very western. This is perhaps most clear in Minish Cap, which has the Picori, who are basically Germanic dwarves mixed with Celtic brownies or Slavic domovoi.

western myth has a lot of magic spears as well, which is why i always find it weird that the only action-adventurey thing i can think of where you play a spear-user is Terranigma, which, while super fun, is a weird statistical outlier in this regard!

I tend to blame it on people not knowing the sort of cool-ass things you can do with a spear and just thinking of them as a sharpened stick, which is a real shame.
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Bongo Bill

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #315 on: September 17, 2011, 01:18:32 PM »

Spears are totally prole weapons, though, unless you are using them for jousting. Everybody knows swords are for heroes.
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Brentai

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #316 on: September 17, 2011, 01:22:34 PM »

I hate to trot out this old chestnut again, but the reason is basically that there were no spear users in Lord of the Rings.
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McDohl

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #317 on: September 17, 2011, 01:36:57 PM »

I gotta say, one thing Zelda gets right is when Link picks up the Master Sword.  In most of these games, it's hinted that this sword is hot shit, some call it the Sword of Evil's Bane.  Something mystical, and powerful.  Sometimes, you can even go see it before you can actually claim it.  When you finally do, it's always some sort of grand moment that is iconic of the game.  Walking through the Lost Woods, and the three pendants breaking the seal, or walking through the massive Temple of Time, or the forest clearing in Twilight Princess where it rests...those are the moments of Zelda that stick out in my mind.
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Norondor

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #318 on: September 17, 2011, 02:03:26 PM »

Spears are totally prole weapons, though, unless you are using them for jousting. Everybody knows swords are for heroes.

tell that to odin and cuchulainn pally

even arthur had a spear
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Lottel

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Re: Zelda Blows
« Reply #319 on: September 17, 2011, 02:06:58 PM »

You know who loved spears?

Adolf Hitler
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