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Author Topic: Weird Happenings  (Read 42495 times)

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Mongrel

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #500 on: July 29, 2013, 08:39:09 AM »

That's a pretty awesome coincidence.
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MarsDragon

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #501 on: July 29, 2013, 11:42:13 AM »

Last night I got a phone call of nothing but static and garbled noises from a number I didn't recognize.

Today I looked up the area code I remembered as 930 only to find out that it's UNUSED!

...then I checked my call history and it was actually 925, which means it was probably my brother or his kids accidentally calling me. Mystery solved.
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #502 on: July 29, 2013, 11:56:36 AM »

930 area code: INSIDE YOUR HOUSE
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Thad

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #503 on: July 31, 2013, 01:22:03 AM »

And now to check the news for why there was a police helicopter circling my neighborhood at 11:30 last night.

(I know it was a police helicopter because of the officer announcing "THIS IS THE POLICE" through a bullhorn.)

...nothing.  There's something about a guy killing somebody over a girl, but that was yesterday morning and he was caught immediately; and there's something about a woman driving her car into a canal, but it was hours later and not near here.

Nothing at all about a police chase in Tempe last night.



...my wife has confirmed for me that there WAS in fact a police helicopter circling the neighborhood at 11:30 last night and I did not dream it.
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Joxam

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #504 on: July 31, 2013, 08:12:29 AM »

You have a wife? SINCE WHEN? I would have gotten you a waffle iron or something, man.
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Thad

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #505 on: July 31, 2013, 11:59:01 AM »

May March.  It was a good time.  No need for waffle irons but thanks for asking.


EDIT: Got my damn M-months mixed up.  Jesus Christ, I haven't been married six months and I ALREADY can't keep my anniversary straight.
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Büge

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #506 on: July 31, 2013, 12:49:59 PM »

Surely we could all pitch in to buy you a Foreman Grill or something.
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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #507 on: July 31, 2013, 01:13:23 PM »

Big, expensive, fancy dictionary or thesaurus.
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Royal☭

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #508 on: July 31, 2013, 01:14:02 PM »

Right-handed coffee mugs.

Brentai

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #509 on: July 31, 2013, 01:23:39 PM »

I think he has all of those, actually.

My suggestion?  Air purifier.
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Lottel

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #510 on: July 31, 2013, 01:27:08 PM »

Obviously it was an alien spacecraft blaring chopper sounds and yelling "THIS IS THE POLICE" as camouflage.
And it totally worked.
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Thad

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #511 on: July 31, 2013, 02:08:25 PM »

I think he has all of those, actually.

My suggestion?  Air purifier.

Are you joking about how we've already got like 5 of them, or serious because with two asthmatics in the house we could still probably use more?
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Brentai

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #512 on: July 31, 2013, 02:16:44 PM »

I didn't see remember any of them, so clearly you need more.
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R^2

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #513 on: July 31, 2013, 02:24:13 PM »

Dude lives in Arizona, I'd say a humidifier wouldn't go amiss.
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Zaratustra

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #514 on: August 14, 2013, 03:52:51 AM »

R^2

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #515 on: September 03, 2013, 01:48:41 PM »

In which R^2 is at his local library, reading a book on vegetable and fruit sculpture, and is accosted by a surly redneck:
"You stay away from my boy," growls the redneck.
"I bet your pardon?"
"You stay away from my boy."
"...go home, you're drunk." Given how he smelled, he may well have been.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Every head in the library turns.

"There aren't any kids around here and I haven't moved for twenty minutes." At this point I channel a little Dr. Orpheus, because why not? "So please take your local flavor elsewhere."
"YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS YOU LITTLE PRICK?" Wow I didn't even know libraries had security guards but here comes one now. Might as well go for broke.
"A piece of what, your extra chromosome?"

And that's how I provoked a guy into getting thrown out of a library. I also learned how to make an adorable melon hedgehog. It's was a full day.
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Büge

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #516 on: September 03, 2013, 02:25:24 PM »

You are a national treasure, R^2.
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Silversong

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #517 on: September 04, 2013, 09:15:14 AM »

That's pretty cool R^2 but I wanna see you make the melon hedgehog. :o
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Lottel

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #518 on: September 12, 2013, 03:40:33 PM »

Listening to a guy sing a song he wrote about a girl I dated is fucking bizarre.
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Mongrel

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Re: Weird Happenings
« Reply #519 on: September 25, 2013, 07:47:42 AM »

[CAUTION: BRENTAI WARNING - YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ THIS]

A smaller spider got onto my chest and I didn't notice until I went to piddle, when I noticed him strolling through my chest hairs. I tried to gently shoo the little guy off, but he uh, fell.

So I had a spider rappelling down from my nuts.

Luckily I could just grab the thread then, so I stuck it to the side of the toilet paper holder and he (she?) made good his/her escape.
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