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[Doom]

Basically the system is 100%, completely useless unless you're looking to gradually make hats.

Some of us haven't seen a hat in half as much legitimate play time as you've spent idling. 

[Smiler]

And you will never get enough scrap metal to make a hat unless you idle. Coincidence? I think not.

[Mongrel]

LOL.

That IS fucking useless. And in fact, before they expanded the carry case, you would never really have been able to hold enough items anyway, even if you smelted some of them as you went.

[McDohl]

81 weapons, in sets of threes, to make a random hat for a random class.
112 weapons, in a sets of threes, and one set of four weapons for one class to make a random hat for the specific class.

I've already synthed a bunch of class tokens when I probably should have just made metal.

[Detonator]

you can't Smelt Class Weapons with the Spy, Sniper, or Demoman since that recipe requires three different slot weapons and those three classes have unlocks that don't follow the 1-2-3 slot unlock formula.

Not sure what you mean by this.  You can get scrap metal using a different recipe, and you can get class tokens with any 4 weapons from a single class, regardless of slot.

[Niku]

The specific recipe is Smelt Class Weapons.  It lets you smelt, for instance, the Kritzkrieg, Blutsauger, and Ubersaw to get scrap.  Or Nastascha, Sandvich, and KGB.

You can't do this "three seperate items from one class for scrap" with Spy, Sniper, or Demoman.  You can still get scrap by doing, say, three Scottish Resistances or three Jarates.  But not by three Cloak and Dagger or Dead Ringers for whatever reason, because watches don't count I guess due to being "PDA2" rather than any actual slot-item.

[Bongo Bill]

Dispenser replacement: Armory. Every N seconds, it spawns a single Super Shotgun From Doom 2, or something - point is, it's a very powerful weapon that no class can get ordinarily. Any ally can then pick it up and use it. This weapon's (very limited) ammo cannot be refilled; once it runs out, or once you discard it with alt-fire, you go back to your regular primary with an amount of ammo remaining that is proportional to what you had left in the replacement.

Teleporter replacement: Telejacker. Sends one ally to an enemy teleporter exit. Good for one use only, after which it needs to be rebuilt or at least recharged with metal. You can still build an exit for it; this is a decoy (although it will send allies there if the enemy has no teleporter exits). Can cause problems if their exit is in a buildable spawn room.

[Mongrel]

Dispenser replacement: Armory. Every N seconds, it spawns a single Super Shotgun From Doom 2, or something - point is, it's a very powerful weapon that no class can get ordinarily. Any ally can then pick it up and use it. This weapon's (very limited) ammo cannot be refilled; once it runs out, or once you discard it with alt-fire, you go back to your regular primary with an amount of ammo remaining that is proportional to what you had left in the replacement.

Is anyone else thinking of OJ Simpson in The Naked Gun movie?

[Bleck]

Engi. Shotgun/Pistol replacement: Super Robot Combo Gun. Auto-crits on any enemy who is also being targeted by a sentry. Less damage normally/shoots slower/other generic con.

Sentry replacement: Proximity Mines. Exactly what it sounds like.

Dispenser replacement: The AAA (Anti Air Artillery). Shoots down any rockets in range.

Dispenser replacement: Spy Breaker. Breaks any cloaking device in range, prevents Dead Ringer use.

Dispenser replacement: Roomba. Scoots around and eats stickies.

[Friday]

SLOT MACHINE: replaces sentry. cannot be destroyed. only usable by enemy team. pull the lever to spin! gives out a prize 1/10! every 10th prize is a random hat! disable entire enemy teams as they endlessly farm for useless crap

[Mongrel]

SLOT MACHINE: replaces sentry. cannot be destroyed. only usable by enemy team. pull the lever to spin! gives out a prize 1/10! every 10th prize is a random hat! disable entire enemy teams as they endlessly farm for useless crap

IS BEST IDEA.

[Bongo Bill]

Teleporter replacement: Go-kart. Teammates and disguised enemy Spies can sit on it and drive it around somewhere. You can't attack while you're in the go-kart (and, in fact, driving over an enemy won't damage them), but if it's attacked while you're driving, it takes all the damage instead of you (until it breaks). When you get out, it stays wherever you leave it. At higher levels it goes faster and has more health.

Dispenser replacement: comm tower. Allies within its (very large) range are slightly buffed; enemies within range are slightly debuffed. On the Engineer's HUD, radar appears detailing everyone's movements within that range (Spies fool the radar). As long as it stands, all players can view enemy cameras and players while waiting to respawn. Also, if you stand near it and activate it in some way, you can view these cameras while alive, as well as the radar of all allied comm towers.

[Zaratustra]

soldier unlock : Iron Boots

replaces shotgun, prevents damage to the soldier when rocket jumping.

CALLED

[Mongrel]

Oh wow.

LOL. NICE.

[Doom]

Dispenser replacement: comm tower. Allies within its (very large) range are slightly buffed; enemies within range are slightly debuffed. On the Engineer's HUD, radar appears detailing everyone's movements within that range (Spies fool the radar). As long as it stands, all players can view enemy cameras and players while waiting to respawn. Also, if you stand near it and activate it in some way, you can view these cameras while alive, as well as the radar of all allied comm towers.

This is the greatest idea, even if it'd make Comm-Engineer insanely complicated. Which is PERFECT.

[Bongo Bill]

Dispenser or teleporter replacement: Altar of Blood Libel. Does nothing by itself. In order to activate it, kill someone with a melee attack and have their ragdoll fall on the altar. This will summon to your aid a powerful demon who is basically the Tank from Left 4 Dead.

[Bleck]

Dispenser replacement: comm tower. Allies within its (very large) range are slightly buffed; enemies within range are slightly debuffed. On the Engineer's HUD, radar appears detailing everyone's movements within that range (Spies fool the radar). As long as it stands, all players can view enemy cameras and players while waiting to respawn. Also, if you stand near it and activate it in some way, you can view these cameras while alive, as well as the radar of all allied comm towers.

This is the greatest idea, even if it'd make Comm-Engineer insanely complicated. Which is PERFECT.

I would play Comm-Engineer and never stop.

[Bongo Bill]

Teleporter replacement: emergency exit. An ally can step on one of these platforms, but it won't immediately do anything; afterwards, before dying, they can press the "drop intel" key to teleport back to it (immediately or as soon as it finishes recharging). The teleport leads to the last one used in this life, and obviously you can't use it without first stepping on it. This doesn't help allies get to the objective faster, but it helps them stay alive and fighting on hectic fronts, makes it easier for them to help protect a forward base, and sets up for absurdly complex strategies (especially for defense) on maps that have multiple unlocked points.

Dispenser replacement: Engiebot. This (not-very-)lifelike animatronic Engineer can be planted on top of an existing building for only 75 metal, and will automatically (albeit slowly) upgrade it to full capacity and repair it if damaged, even if you're dead. It will also, if placed on a sentry or a fellow Engineer's dispenser, kill any enemy foolish enough to stand directly on top of it, but this is more of an easter egg. Engiebot has little health and cannot itself be repaired or upgraded, but it will protect the building it's built on from sappers. Specifically: the sapper will go on the Engiebot instead of the building below, even if the Engiebot is already sapped. Engiebot will heal and resupply nearby allies significantly slower than a dispenser, and while it is doing so, it will not repair the building it is built on. And no, you cannot place an Engiebot on another Engiebot.

Dispenser replacement: field supplies. Straight-up boring alternative: refills and heals much, much faster than a regular dispenser, but has a finite supply of both and will break when it runs out. Give it a whack to refill it, leading to paradoxical infinite metal scenarios, but requires constant attention.

Sentry replacement: Artillery. Fires powerful arcing grenades constantly and with only minimal aiming at various trajectories within a quarter- or eighth-circle range.

Pistol replacement: Binoculars. Takes three seconds to charge up once you pull 'em out, during which time you are tunnel-visioned like with a Sniper's scope. Once charged, you can activate a brief, concentrated sentry barrage at the spot you're looking at. Can't target it on a spot that the sentry can't actually hit, but you can aim it outside the sentry's range. Particularly effective with artillery, which will otherwise fire more-or-less randomly in a wide area. Can't target players; has to be locations. Since there are cases when you want it to shoot against a skybox, looking through the scope will probably show a laser leading from the sentry to the spot it'll aim at, to help.

Sentry replacement: Objective Helper. Can only be deployed in a capture zone or on top of a payload. Does small but constant damage to any enemy who is in the capture zone or near enough to the payload to disrupt it. Prevents enemies from capturing the point/grabbing the intel/pushing the cart/blocking the capture/capturing the intel/blocking the cart. May be impossible, given the varying custom payload models in use in some maps.

Grenade replacement (Demoman): Bombchus.

[Norondor]

Bongo bill should replace Robin Walker. Dead serious.

[Bongo Bill]

Razorback buff: rather than merely protecting against backstabs, it takes effect any time a melee attack (critical, backstab, regular, or whatever) would be fatal to the user. It still only works once per resupply, and it still does damage and temporarily disables the attacker just as it does now, only now it works against any class. An effective deterrent to Eyelander Demomans and especially Equalizer Soldiers, who are much less likely to be paying attention than a Spy swooping in for the kill.