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[Lottel]

All guns shoot heavies.
 
If you point the guns at heavies

[François]

Mangun (Sentry replacement)
Teammates can load themselves into this device to be then launched headfirst as ammunition by any nearby engineer. When a launched player collides with an enemy, they deliver their current HP as damage and are stunned for one second. The gun has a maximum range that increases with its level but is affected by its ammunition's weight; even a lvl1 mangun will launch a scout a good distance, but it takes a lvl3 to fire a heavy from one balcony in 2fort to the other. Ammunition reaching maximum range falls straight to the ground and is subject to fall damage. Connecting with level geometry before maximum range is reached causes 50 points of damage and three seconds' stun.

[McDohl]

<Heavy> INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC SASHA!!!

[Zaratustra]

[Zaratustra]

The Second Amendment - Heavy melee. A big ol' pair of bear arms. Speed bonus.

[Mongrel]

THAT'S NOT RUSSIAN.

[Frocto]

Hat Gun - A spy weapon that fires an illusory hat on the ground, which stays there until someone walks over it or the Spy is killed. One out of every 1,000 hats fired is real. If the Spy is killed while the real hat is on the ground, the hat vanishes with a special animation where it bursts into flame.

[Bleck]

A new generation of idle servers, where the entire BLU team is Spybots constantly firing that weapon at idlers.

[Frocto]

Simple solution: Fake hats fill up inventory slots with little awesome face icons and need to be deleted.

[JDigital]

Simple solution: Fake hats fill up inventory slots with little awesome face icons and need to be deleted.

Runescape does this. At random a puzzle will appear in your inventory, which duplicates the longer you leave it unsolved. There's a small bonus for completing the puzzle.

[Crouton]

Nerf Bat - does no damage, but on hit decreases enemy's movement speed by 25%, decreases weapon damage by 30%, and increases ammo consumption by 30% for 10 seconds. Effect stacks with other nerf bats.

[Catloaf]

The Pacifist- Takes up the needle-gun slot but does not replace it with anything.  +5% to ubercharge (only when actually healing people, not overcharging), +10% to health regen, and +15% healing rate somewhat canceling out the uber buff.

The Bloody Murderer- Replaces knife, Allows you to redisguise/cloak much faster after use, but only does 85% of a player's max health and causes bleeding on backstab.  Much slower and slightly less damage but still causes bleeding otherwise.

The Marxman-  A gigantic gun that resembles something between a Kalashnikov and an anti-tank gun.  Replaces minigun, Fires in 3-round bursts which each do 20-35 damage , smaller spread, no damage falloff, mini-crits on headshot, very slight normal walking speed, can barely move at all when lining up a shot.

[Beat Bandit]

can barely move at all when lining up a shot.

So... it's scoped?

[Bleck]

The Bloody Murderer- Replaces knife, Allows you to redisguise/cloak much faster after use, but only does 85% of a player's max health and causes bleeding on backstab.  Much slower and slightly less damage but still causes bleeding otherwise.

Maybe this could be adapted into a much needed buff/change-up for the Cloak and Dagger?

[Catloaf]

can barely move at all when lining up a shot.

So... it's scoped?

Basically, but no zoom.

[Doom]

The Axe - a bunch of axe/razor blades haphazardly drilled and duct-taped to a bitchin' guitar. Swings 20% slower, but on hit it emits totally sweet chords that slow people immediately next to the target for a few seconds. Supports lighting dudes on fire and then wrecking their day when they try to run. Also being totally awesome.

[Zaratustra]

The Most Dangerous Game Piece - This sniper rifle slows down whoever its scope is aimed on to make shots slightly easier. Additionally, whoever is scoped is always aware of it (via a glow plus a haunting noise) so exciting chases can be had!

[Kazz]

THE WHAMBULANCE

Replaces Medigun.  It is a wheelbarrow.  You put an injured teammate into it and race him around going WHEEOOEEOOEEOOEEOOEEOO!   When you get back to spawn, both of you get ice cream.

[Beat Bandit]

I love it!

[Zaratustra]

The Skinner is a narrow, stiletto-like knife.
A Skinner kill doesn't show up on other players' HUDs. After such a kill, the Spy cannot attack for one second (or more), but automatically disguises as the killed player, appearing to wield the weapon they were using.

FUCK YEAR.