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Author Topic: Suicide Club!  (Read 28314 times)

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Detonator

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #160 on: August 05, 2009, 10:28:07 PM »

That was one of my guesses (frentic? fetid? poetic?), but it seemed pretty unbelieveable that anyone could have such a loose grasp on the construction of a common word.

Yes, even Sora.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

jsnlxndrlv

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #161 on: August 05, 2009, 10:28:14 PM »

The complicated thing about emotions on the internet is that if you really are sick and really do need help, we want you to get help and want you to get better. Some people go on to discover that this outpouring of support and well-wishing is pleasant and enjoyable, particularly if they feel they aren't appreciated otherwise, so they push the "I'm sick and I need help" button as much as they think they can get away with. The nice feelings that are brought out as a result of that are no substitute for actual assistance, though, so if you're reaching that point, it's our social responsibility to shut the happy-feeling spigot off and tell you to get the fuck off the internet and talk to a counselor.
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Cyan Prime

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #162 on: August 05, 2009, 10:50:09 PM »

I guess I need to finally tell you about my situation.I've been on GAU and medication (Zoloft, Abillofy, and Serequil) since I first tried to kill myself in feb by ODing on pain pills. since then I've been trying to get on GAX, and finally SSI. Getting a job right now will hurt those chances, so I can't until after I'm on SSI. I have ADHD, Bipolor, assburgers, and depression. I've been talking with a conseler for about a month and a half, maybe 2 months, and they moved me to "level 2" because they thought I was high-risk to myself. I will be seeing her again within two weeks.

I have been taking the advice I get here, just not posting about it.
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Detonator

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #163 on: August 05, 2009, 10:54:11 PM »

Assburgers can be a pain if untreated.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Catloaf

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #164 on: August 05, 2009, 11:09:45 PM »

Wow, that sounds quite similar to Saturn.  He the same mental disorders but replace bipolar with disgraphia*.  He also recently started getting free money from the gov'ment for being loud crazy.  The state money is less than $20 a month, but the federal stuff is a decent amount.

However, Saturn is much better about not being emo or any of that shit SoraCross does.


*His handwriting is so bad, a six year old with vibrators for hands could probably write more legibly.
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Cyan Prime

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #165 on: August 05, 2009, 11:13:06 PM »

However, Saturn is much better about not being emo or any of that shit SoraCross does. :hurr: :derp: :hurr:
Which could be because I have bipolor and not disgraphia.
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Kazz

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #166 on: August 05, 2009, 11:57:32 PM »

If you were really suicidal, you wouldn't ask for help.  So, you want to live.  QED.

Next.
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Norondor

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #167 on: August 06, 2009, 12:06:08 AM »

Kazz please don't post on these forums anymore.
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Norondor

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #168 on: August 06, 2009, 12:07:24 AM »

Or just, like, take a pill. A chill pill. B)
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Fredward

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #169 on: August 06, 2009, 12:08:02 AM »

Yeah, Kazz, you've basically peaked with that post.

This one of the few threads that makes me wish there was a "hide thread" button. This and the pet thread. And the Pokemon thread. And the WoW thread...
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It's never easy to tell just where the line is between physical malady and the general crushing horror of life itself.

jsnlxndrlv

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #170 on: August 06, 2009, 12:09:23 AM »

That makes a lot of sense, yeah.

Mental illness is not fun and fucks life up. My aunt's bipolar; she's been on medication for a long time, but she still has her moments--cooking sheet after sheet of muffins all night long, spontaneously dissassembling her sons' bicycles and then not being able to put 'em back together again, chopping her hair off into startling new looks... and then at the other extreme, she's emotionally wrecked by the mistakes she's made.

Probably the worst part of your situation is that even if you were to get your conditions under a semblance of control, that'll stop your projects from causing a "negative" response but it still isn't enough to start getting a "positive" one. You aren't going to suddenly be great with girls, you aren't suddenly going to become a dynamite game designer, and you aren't going to suddenly find your life where you want it to be. I'm predicting this because I'm fortunate enough to not have to struggle with mental illness, and I still have those problems. But if you're dealing with your illness, at least the problems stop threatening to overwhelm you and you can start to actually work on solving them.

That probably doesn't sound like much consolation, from where you're at right now. But things will get better; it's a fucking hard road and it'll take time, and it certainly doesn't feel fair. But things will get better.

EDIT TO ADD: 4 new replies, etc. I thought I'd lost my response when I answered a PM, though, so I'm just relieved I got the text back. Pretend I'd responded before Kazz had.
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Beat Bandit

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #171 on: August 06, 2009, 05:11:12 PM »

Don't worry guys. Sora will eventually get tired of different forms of suicide not being instantly attracted to him and just fuck guys instead.
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Nemo2342

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #172 on: August 08, 2009, 09:06:11 PM »

The Right To  Die

  A potential suicide was talking to Ho Chi Zen, asking if he had the right to commit suicide if
he wanted to. Ho replied, "Anyone has a right to do anything. Every one else has the right to
resist it."
  The student said, "Do you see suicide as a moral act?"
  Ho's answer was, "Where there is no victim, every act is morally right, but I personally think
suicide is a symptom of taking oneself too seriously."

That seemed pretty relevant to this discussion at least
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Cyan Prime

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #173 on: December 03, 2009, 11:01:22 PM »

So I've been working on developing games for about 5-7 years I think, and no matter how good my game is I can't get anyone to try the shit out anymore. No one here wants to try Phantasy Blade, or Drive Buster, and no one anywhere else wants to ether. I even open sourced Drive Buster hoping it would give it more interest, but nope, not a damn thing. I feel like shit, I just want people to give my games a chance. Tell me what they like, and what they'd like to see...I dunno. I just feel like shit cause no one cares about all my hard work.

Also, I think the fact that I get like zero respect on these forums is really starting to get to me.

Posting it here instead of shit days because I've been having suicidal thoughts all night...
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Doom

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #174 on: December 03, 2009, 11:05:50 PM »

Self-promotion is thankless, endless work until by sheer random karmic fuckery it clicks and suddenly POPULARITY! With the advent of the internet, you just need to make your work available and passively hope for the best(because actively worrying will drive you insane) and move on to your next project because you can't depend on sheer random karmic fuckery.

Also, you earn respect. Often passively as well.
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Brentai

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #175 on: December 03, 2009, 11:07:57 PM »

Learn not to require the validation of others in order to live or you will be fucked over until it breaks you.
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Mothra

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #176 on: December 03, 2009, 11:19:59 PM »

Well it's simply a matter of us not wanting to do it. You wouldn't do something you didn't want to do, right? You have to create a sense of desire or the promise of fun by creating games that are, in themselves, immediately engaging and satisfying, rather than "sort of done" or "good enough" or "pretty good through this perspective once you realize what had to go into making it".

Like it would feel like work to play these and figure out what its problems where and tell you. That is why I don't want to play them. Instead of this being a thing I would click on to have fun, it's a thing I click on to "get to work" and decipher issues or shortcomings. If you want to make a game people will want to play, you have to step back at every stage and ask yourself if you would like to play this. You should want to play the game you made, you should truly want to play it, to have fun, because it is a fun game.

Also, I think the fact that I get like zero respect on these forums is really starting to get to me.

The lack of respect is due to the fact that the things you post are not fun or enjoyable to read at all. Again, you've gotta take a step back when you're putting something out to a group and ask, if you were in our shoes, would you enjoy reading the post you've just made? Or would this seem irreverant or a waste of time? If you read one of your posts and it doesn't seem interesting or fun or in any way worth the time it takes to read it, we're going to feel the same way. Only put out stuff that you yourself would like to read in a post.

Posting it here instead of shit days because I've been having suicidal thoughts all night...

This is nothing to really get suicidal over, man. Obviously I don't know you, but you sound like you've gotten yourself holed up into this introverted, closed lifestyle where you don't interact too much and going out and talking to people or doing something else simply doesn't seem appealing.

What you've got to do is take a step back, figure out why you're spending your time the way you do, understand what got you here (I mean truly understand why. Use a journal, that helped me immensley.), and then simply decide what you would like to do instead. We've all got roughly the same amount of time, and all we've got to choose is what we do with it. Decide what you would like to do with your time from now on, what you might want to achieve or what might make you happy, and devote your time to getting there.

The only thing worth doing is what makes you a happier, better, more content person. Sit down, get a journal, and fucking figure out what's holding you in place in life. Once you can figure that out, you can work on fixing it, on become the kind of dude you want to be. It's gonna take time, it's not necessarily going to be easy, but it is the only thing genuinely worth doing. Understand why you are the way you are, figure out what you want out of life, and do what you have to do to get there. You only live once, so make the best of it.
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Detonator

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #177 on: December 03, 2009, 11:46:04 PM »

Kabbage, it's pretty cruel to demand empathy from an autistic person.  You need to step back and realize this.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Disposable Ninja

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #178 on: December 04, 2009, 12:32:45 AM »

Alright, I gave Phantasy Blade a shot. You guilted me into it. Nice particle effects with the mist. The attack button felt too sticky and unreliable, it should quicker and easier to get out of. Maybe if you could get your little guy to move around while attacking?

Overall, I'd say you've got the engine for what could be a good game. If you really want people to play your homebrewed game, then I suggest taking Phantasy Blade, which is honestly little more than a skeleton right now, and getting out-and-out obsessive on it. Make it the best, most detailed little Zelda clone you can craft.
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Classic

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Re: Suicide Club!
« Reply #179 on: December 04, 2009, 12:58:17 AM »

I'm fairly certain that your madness is substantially different from mine, but when I'm having trouble shaking off thoughts of suicide I try to ground myself and dismiss the thoughts as crazy. It also helps to do some exercise. Go for a walk, do some kind of solo, single-player exercise. If you don't have the room to do it, clean. Just something to focus yourself and keep you from any dangerous impulses.

Also, I am not entirely sure why you'd care about the respect of anyone on these forums. Near as I can tell, they're all pig fuckers. ::(: Seriously, like, they've got swine-AIDS. It's way worse than swine-flu and they've made it a pig-demic disease.

As for why I don't try your games: I basically don't try anyone's games on these boards. My machine has trouble running SimTower. SIM FUCKING TOWER!!!

If it's any consolation, up until recently I thought you were an amazing satirist who had it out for me for some reason. Maybe it's because I'm a shallow, paranoid fucker? Maybe it's because I'm self-effacing to cover up the fact that I don't have a clue as to why no one likes me, even though it's obvious it's because I'm a self-obsessed dullard?

selfpitypanda!!!


:tldr: Cheer up you dope. Find your coding zen and just go nuts. I'll try to actually test your game sometime.
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