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Author Topic: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes  (Read 11142 times)

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Classic

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #60 on: December 13, 2009, 08:13:37 PM »
Quote from: King Klown on December 13, 2009, 05:27:05 PM
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
[spoiler]I can't jelly my dick up your ass.[/spoiler]
:nyoro~n: I always need lubrication when I do that to someone.
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McDohl

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #61 on: December 13, 2009, 08:49:05 PM »
...you know, guys, with each passing year, and being surrounded by varying degrees of racism over said years, the N-word has gotten a bit uncomfortable to me.  Can I request that it be...not wordfiltered, but kindly and respectfully NOT USED?

EDIT: Yes, I know I am asking people on the Internet!!! to be rational people and respect a reasonable request, but please, guys, humor me.
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yyler

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #62 on: December 13, 2009, 09:06:52 PM »
what do you call a pig with no legs?
[spoiler]a groundhog![/spoiler]

what do you call a cow with no legs?
[spoiler]ground beef![/spoiler]

what do you call a dog with no legs?
[spoiler]nothing, it won't come anyway.[/spoiler]
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Doom

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #63 on: December 13, 2009, 09:33:40 PM »
What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist.
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Detonator

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #64 on: December 13, 2009, 09:39:25 PM »
What's 12 inches long and leaves a woman screaming in the bedroom?

[spoiler]crib death[/spoiler]
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King Klown

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #65 on: December 14, 2009, 10:46:13 AM »
Quote from: McDohl on December 13, 2009, 08:49:05 PM
...you know, guys, with each passing year, and being surrounded by varying degrees of racism over said years, the N-word has gotten a bit uncomfortable to me.  Can I request that it be...not wordfiltered, but kindly and respectfully NOT USED?

EDIT: Yes, I know I am asking people on the Internet!!! to be rational people and respect a reasonable request, but please, guys, humor me.

Not unreasonable. I've only gotten comfortable myself because of Doom's constant use, the racist.

What's more fun than throwing a baby off a roof.
[spoiler]Catching it with a pitchfork.[/spoiler]
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Büge

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #66 on: December 14, 2009, 11:12:11 AM »
Quote from: Friday, sooner or later
Hey now. That's a perfectly good meal.
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sei

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #67 on: December 14, 2009, 09:56:31 PM »
Quote from: King Klown on December 14, 2009, 10:46:13 AM
Quote from: McDohl on December 13, 2009, 08:49:05 PM
...you know, guys, with each passing year, and being surrounded by varying degrees of racism over said years, the N-word has gotten a bit uncomfortable to me.  Can I request that it be...not wordfiltered, but kindly and respectfully NOT USED?

EDIT: Yes, I know I am asking people on the Internet!!! to be rational people and respect a reasonable request, but please, guys, humor me.

Not unreasonable. I've only gotten comfortable myself because of Doom's constant use, the racist.
WoW vent desensitizes you to that stuff pretty quickly.

For what exceedingly little it's worth, on my guild's vent, "nigger" wasn't really used in reference to black people; it was the sort of general insult that "fag" is pretty commonly used as.  ORDER's vent and Chaos Theory's old teamspeak servers had their own usage quirks, so I'm going to call it cultural and not suggest that MP usage is the norm.

I'm still waiting for a larger set of colloquial person-I-disapprove-ofpejorative terms not etymologically linked to a minority group.  Stuff that rolls off the tongue better than "douche bag," anyway.
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Brentai

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #68 on: December 14, 2009, 10:02:31 PM »
My ex and I decided amongst ourselves that the word actually referred to a person who is addicted to chicken nuggets.  We got in trouble a few times referring to each other as such.
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sei

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #69 on: December 14, 2009, 10:06:14 PM »
No, no.  It's okay: we're taking it back.
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Classic

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #70 on: December 15, 2009, 03:42:50 AM »
I just wish people weren't so niggardly with their pejoratives.
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McDohl

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #71 on: December 15, 2009, 07:02:17 AM »

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R^2

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #72 on: December 18, 2009, 10:23:31 AM »
Women with big tits work at Hooters. Where do women with one leg work?

[spoiler]IHOP.[/spoiler]
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Frocto

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #73 on: January 12, 2010, 03:59:51 AM »
Preserved for historical purposes, a racist australian joke:

A man is walking through the desert when he sees an aboriginal walking in the opposite direction carrying a holden commodore door. He stops and says, "Why are you carrying that?"

The aboriginal grins and replies, "When it gets hot, I can roll the window down and get some fresh air!"
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Brentai

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #74 on: February 06, 2010, 03:48:02 PM »
What does a the government have in common with an English teacher?

[spoiler]They'll both give you a check for missing a period.[/spoiler]
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Beat Bandit

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #75 on: February 15, 2010, 11:16:16 PM »
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Nine-Eleven.

Nine-Eleven who?

You said you'd never forget.

I could've sworn I stole that from this thread, but a check says otherwise!

Also:

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I'd tell you, but it's this really obscure number, you've probably never even heard of it.
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Büge

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #76 on: March 14, 2010, 06:25:20 AM »
Quote
The Finns were fighting the Russians; each army was entrenched not far from the other. It had been quiet lately, no shots had been exchanged for some time. The Russians devised a plan: since Toivo was a common Finnish name, a Russian soldier would shout "Toivo!" and when a Finnish soldier named Toivo would stand to be recognized, he would be shot. The plan worked. A Russian soldier would shout "Toivo!" A Finnish soldier named Toivo would respond by standing up and answering "Ya?" and then be shot.

This happened several times before the Finns finally caught on. The Finns decided that they would shout out "Ivan!" and there would likely be a Russian soldier named Ivan who would then stand and then they could shoot him.

So, a Finnish soldier shouted "Ivan!" From the Russian trench a voice yelled back, "Is that you, Toivo?" "Ya." Bang!

I've also heard a variation with Irish standing in for the Russians and Russians for Finns.
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R^2

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #77 on: March 14, 2010, 08:24:01 AM »
That doesn't make sense. Ivan isn't an Irish name!
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Büge

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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #78 on: March 14, 2010, 10:42:39 AM »
True, but 'Patty' is.
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Re: Crude, Lewd, and Rude Jokes
« Reply #79 on: March 14, 2010, 01:36:07 PM »
Quote from: Büge on March 14, 2010, 10:42:39 AM
True, but 'Paddy' is.

Okay Yuri, try it now. Maybe work this time!
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