Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177872 times)

Mongrel · « **Reply #160 on:** February 02, 2009, 06:18:47 PM »

Perhaps I should have added the line "And then your motherboard fries itself."

Dooly · « **Reply #161 on:** February 02, 2009, 06:29:20 PM »

Those are an awful lot of stages of grief.

Mongrel · « **Reply #162 on:** February 02, 2009, 06:51:57 PM »

Well, it's not my grief.

Unless perhaps you meant that I griefed someone. Because what I did today at 5 pm was fax 60 pages of work that I had no way of doing to the New Jersey office with a note that basically said "Okay kids, have fun!"

You can't plan your way out of a paper bag? Fine. You'll just have to deal with the consequences. The shitty thing is that the folks who have to clean the mess aren't the ones who caused it. But you know, that's the way it always goes.

I'm just sick and tired of calling people to apologise for how utterly incompetant we are.

SCD · « **Reply #163 on:** February 02, 2009, 08:19:52 PM »

I'm back.

The helicopters bailed on us at the last minute. Turns out they won't go in the rain or the snow, or that the pilot this year was a pussy compared to the "been there done everything, a la crop duster pilot in ID4" pilot I had last year. We didn't know until two hours later, so we went with plan B: Snowmobiles!

So I learned how to snowmobile, then I did it in backcountry subalpine logging trails with grades of up to 15% up to speeds of 70 kph.

It was worth it, as the new location that we went for had lakeside views and was so far away from anybody that sillyness was on. Once we were set up, I threw on my peruvian alpine hat, and set up a late xmas tree with glowsticks which marked the firefighting equipment at the base.

There were major clusterfuck bits that made it almost as stressful as IM's deal.

Brentai · « **Reply #164 on:** February 02, 2009, 11:23:09 PM »

Quote from: SCD on February 02, 2009, 08:19:52 PM

"been there done everything, a la crop duster pilot in ID4"

What, even up an alien mothership's asshole?

Mongrel · « **Reply #165 on:** February 03, 2009, 04:29:08 AM »

I just remembered something else that's hilarious: It's been three months and the IT Department still can't get the 1-800-customer service line to route to my phone. Instead it goes to a virtual inbox where messages are emailed to me in .wav format.

So I don't actually take calls, I just play phone tag all day. And now that I have no access to my email anymore...

Mongrel · « **Reply #166 on:** February 03, 2009, 07:24:52 PM »

The good news: My computer is fixed now.

The bad news: My computer is fixed now.

MadMAxJr · « **Reply #167 on:** February 05, 2009, 07:40:57 AM »

Quote from: MadMAxJr on November 13, 2008, 01:22:38 PM

So now I have to drop every fucking thing, including the next seven projects in line, and redo this.

Project was a month late, but I finished it with about 75% of the requirements. Wrote up a very nice looking manual, passed it off for testing.

Client may not even end up using product, may want to use 3rd party vendor product that he was looking at back when we discussed requirements.

There is no image emoticon that can express my rage.

Brentai · « **Reply #168 on:** February 05, 2009, 09:14:53 AM »

Hey, you got paid.

Zaratustra · « **Reply #169 on:** February 05, 2009, 09:43:30 AM »

The boss told me "If I see you on the internet one more time I'm going to cut your internet and I'm only saying it once"
why not cut it right now then
also he complains my documentation is too ambiguous

Royal☭ · « **Reply #170 on:** February 05, 2009, 10:10:33 AM »

Quote from: Zaratustra on February 05, 2009, 09:43:30 AM

The boss told me "If I see you on the internet one more time I'm going to cut your internet and I'm only saying it once"

Are you at work and on the internet right now?

Büge · « **Reply #171 on:** February 05, 2009, 02:41:50 PM »

...I guess he was.

Mongrel · « **Reply #172 on:** February 05, 2009, 07:26:04 PM »

Hey, you could always be like us: So incompetant we're endangering lives.

Granted, for that to actually happen, some extreme circumstances would have to come into play, but considering our Ontario sales rep basically spent the week begging for spare stuff from one hospital and personally driving it to another, rinse, repeat multiple times until you go stark raving... well.

After my computer was fixed, a raft of other issues came to light. To put it in a nutshell: When they did the Giant Database Upgrade '09, they basically didn't code a single goddamn thing for the Canadian server, so literally nothing left for days - and that was after we'd already had to sit on orders for half a week for the changeover.

And the only person who can fix everything is my boss. She's become the ultimate bottleneck ANYTHING that needs to be fixed has to be done by her - she's the only person the database people showed how to do it. I spend my days literally begging people in the New Jersey office to go annoy her, because she's so massively overworked right now that she forwards her phone to voicemail, doesn't check her messages and snaps at anyone who comes near her office.

Today it took me half the day just to beat my way through and have them fix a single-line tag error that was preventing the largest customer in the country from getting any orders correctly.

Just once I would like to enter a simple fucking order - should take ten minutes at most - without runing into some massive technical failure.

Just once I would like to take a phone call, without having two messages in my voicemail by the time the call's over.

This shit is actually happening. Jesus FUCK.

Mongrel · « **Reply #173 on:** February 06, 2009, 07:17:20 PM »

Quote from: Iron_Mongrel on February 05, 2009, 07:26:04 PM

Hey, you could always be like us: So incompetant we're endangering lives.

Granted, for that to actually happen, some extreme circumstances would have to come into play, but...

Hey, remember when I said this?

I din't think it was possible, but we managed it. TODAY WAS EVEN MORE FUN-ER-ER

ALSO: GUESS WHO HAS TO WORK WEEKENDS NOW. Not "your work days have shifted" no, it's "Oh my God we're fucked!"

Thad · « **Reply #174 on:** February 06, 2009, 10:38:48 PM »

...Fridays at my job are not very Fridayish.

There are business meetings on Thursdays, and they stress everybody out.

Near as I can tell, there's a lot of acrimony against our branch from some of the other branches -- see, the company used to have multiple IT departments throughout the country, and now we're one of only two.

What this translates to is that a lot of the people we support are people who just saw a bunch of their coworkers get laid off and their jobs given to us. And who, incidentally, are used to being able to take their computer into the next room when they have a problem with it and now have to ship it out-of-state.

As you might expect, there is some friction.

None of which affects me directly (except that I'm one of two guys sifting through all the truckloads of shit we keep getting in from all the other closed IT departments), but the boss is stressed out and the guys I work with are stressed out.

...incidentally, I have decided that if I tell any stories in the future of the two guys I sit near, I will refer to them as Michael and Samir.

McDohl · « **Reply #175 on:** February 07, 2009, 02:37:15 AM »

Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking...JUST a moment!

Doom · « **Reply #176 on:** February 08, 2009, 03:30:27 PM »

I am a Toys R Us Electronics employee. We began our Shaymin distribution week today.

I will not receive my Shaymin this week. Perhaps not ever.

It's not because I forgot my DS today. I didn't want to drive back on my own time just for a Shaymin anyways.

I was doing what I always do ever since Dickhead Manager decided to throw me out of electronics: Ignoring him and doing the work that needed to be done. As soon as the one guy in electronics gets overwhelmed, I sweep in and begin gracefully cutting the workload down.

I like the distribution events. They're very easy to handle. You just smile at kids and tell them which menu options to pick, and they look at you like you've given them a solid gold bar.

But one little girl was not delighted. She told us she had gotten the Shaymin, accepted it from the delivery man at the Pokemart, and forgotten to save her game. She had actually powered the DS off and now had recorded data of Shaymin being received, but no Shaymin to show for it.

Nintendo is absolutely batshit insane against letting anybody, anywhere, anytime abuse their little Event things. All these little cut-offs are to keep you from downloading multiple Shaymin, or to simply trade them away one by one, or some other stupid thing.

She was only gone for a few minutes, leaving after I suggested that she would need to trade with another downloader and only if they'd give their Shaymin to her. She returned with her mother, and I was suddenly seized by a burning resolve in my soul!

I would use my lunch break to drive back to my house, retrieve my own DS, drive back, download Shaymin, and trade it to her.

And I did. I used 31 minutes of my 30 minute lunch, downloaded Shaymin, and waited 15 minutes for them to return.

She was thrilled. Her mom said it was her little girl was on the verge of tears when she praised me in talking to my manager(a good manager, too. Cool Mom Manager.) My manager let me take a 20 minute on-the-clock break later to eat.

And that, my friends, is why it's Team Fancy. We've got a lot of class.

MadMAxJr · « **Reply #177 on:** February 08, 2009, 03:32:45 PM »

Doom is credit to team!

Lady Duke · « **Reply #178 on:** February 08, 2009, 04:29:18 PM »

Dude. That's terrible. That dumb little girl deserved to lose it if she's too stupid to save. Also....I can't think of a way that what you just explained could happen. My favorite thing to do, in fact, is to turn off the DS once I receive an event pokemon if I don't like it's nature. So I believe you got screwed out of shaymin and that little girl got TWO shaymin.

I'd give you my extra shaymin, but it's spoken for by Dohl.

SCD · « **Reply #179 on:** February 09, 2009, 12:27:01 AM »

I'm back in town again for the night.

Things got awfully in-depth last week, and I found myself in various rain forest areas, as well as an open compound beside an elementary school. Almost every kid tried to gain my attention through shouting and attempting to climb the nearby fence. Yard attendants made sure they didn't succeed with their childish shenanigans.

I made sure to smile and acknowledge every shy child who quietly waved to me in the hopes of giving them a confidence boost rather than all the loud ones who shouted "do you have a gun/grenade/rocket launcher?"

I'm home for the night and the tough stuff is over with. I've got the stench of diesel that won't go away, and my first instinct when I returned was to go for a 40 of whiskey and down half of it. I'm still drunk as all fuck (I started boozing 12 hours ago and have downed a 12 pack and a 40..), but I rise in six and get back at it, in town for four more days before my countless day week is finally over and I can have a real "honest-to-god" day to myself.

The upside is that I learned a lot about myself, my limits (yet again), plus I met two of my successful recruits from last summer. One of them had a fond memory where at the final 1-week trench exercise of myself.

It was an exercise where not only did they learn how to defend, build defenses and understand the discipline of when to shoot, and why, but also learn how to patrol and be part of section and platoon-level assaults. The last night is where they get overwhelmed by nonstop raids - for a whole 18 hours. During this exercise, the instructors would shed their instructor persona and become section commanders and second in command - myself with the lowly 2 - I/C position being as a newbie to the leadership gig I was at the time - and we would lead within the trench lines, patrol lines as soldiers would normally do.

During a lull in the firefight, I had a private bomb up my magazines as well as his own, and I took the chance to throw some shitload of instant coffee in my canteen cup with some water, heated by a fuel tablet in a hole in the ground.

I made sure to pass it around to the people in my group within the section.

And this guy remembered the moment when the world seemed to be collapsing on him, and the guy who had been reaming on him the entire go quietly passed him hot liquid on a cool, mosquito-laden night of an awful god-damned black beverage that, despite it's horrible acidic taste, managed to boost his spirits to the point where he remembers six months later..

He tells the story to his friends.

Among other stories involving scrapes, burns, hornet stings, one-liners and other quotes...

It was a boost in confidence.

Now if only I could have a proper night at the bar to make use of it.

News:

Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177872 times)