Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177989 times)

Beat Bandit · « **Reply #2280 on:** August 17, 2012, 03:25:50 PM »

Ted Belmont · « **Reply #2281 on:** August 23, 2012, 07:37:54 AM »

So my office, faced with an overwhelming amount of concurrently running projects, decided to implement a project tiering system. There are Tier 1, Tier 2, and Tier 3 projects, listed in order of visibility / importance. There are currently 7 Tier 1 projects. Official direction from the higher-ups is that if you're working on any Tier 1 project, you should not be working on anything else.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

GUESS WHO'S WORKING ON ALL 7 TIER 1 PROJECTS

Büge · « **Reply #2282 on:** August 23, 2012, 07:57:05 AM »

Your... mom?

Mongrel · « **Reply #2283 on:** August 23, 2012, 03:04:17 PM »

Hey hey! Job security!

Brentai · « **Reply #2284 on:** August 23, 2012, 03:27:19 PM »

There's a thing as having way too much job security.

Mongrel · « **Reply #2285 on:** August 23, 2012, 07:12:41 PM »

Trade some of it in by asking for a raise!*

>__>

*_{This offer not available to slaves, the incarcerated or anyone else chained to their desk literally rather than merely spiritually.}

James Edward Smith · « **Reply #2286 on:** August 28, 2012, 08:07:37 AM »

Do you know what the best kind of crash and exception you can have in your Xcode objective C project is? It's the kind where Xcode decides to completely invent one where there isn't one and then point you to a line that makes no sense for the exception to be thrown there. Then after 20 minutes of thinking you are crazy you just close Xcode and reopen the project and WOAH the crash is MAGICALLY GONE from your app. Amazing!

THANKS Xcode 4, you pile of fucking bullshit.

R^2 · « **Reply #2287 on:** August 28, 2012, 11:01:11 AM »

The fingerprint scanner on the timeclock at work demands the right index finger. I need to find the exception for people who shaved the skin off a chunk of their right index fingertip with a potato peeler.

Doom · « **Reply #2288 on:** August 28, 2012, 11:03:52 AM »

Why didn't you just save the potato, stupid?

Rico · « **Reply #2289 on:** August 28, 2012, 11:04:08 AM »

The real question is why you are working instead of using your powers for a successful life of crime.

Shinra · « **Reply #2290 on:** August 28, 2012, 11:24:08 AM »

The greatest power switch prankster in the land - Rights Fingers. A mysterious accident stripped him of his fingerpint and his VERY IDENTITY... on his right hand index finger. Now he travels the land, turning off light switches, power switches, junction switches, arcade cabinet switches. The police are powerless to stop him and his single finger press related crimes - untracable, they are truly the perfect caper.

Niku · « **Reply #2291 on:** August 28, 2012, 12:53:11 PM »

ironically the pursuit of the perfect caper is exactly how he ended up in this situation

CAPERS ARE LIKE A KIND OF POTATO RIGHT

R^2 · « **Reply #2292 on:** August 28, 2012, 12:56:42 PM »

Capers are little salty pickled flower buds. Almost the same thing, though.

Niku · « **Reply #2293 on:** August 28, 2012, 01:12:53 PM »

salty pickled flower bud was the worst movie in that series

Ted Belmont · « **Reply #2294 on:** August 28, 2012, 01:36:04 PM »

+1 Niku

Beat Bandit · « **Reply #2295 on:** August 29, 2012, 10:45:28 AM »

Today someone ripped the plumbing out of the bathroom and I guess will be back to replace it at some point.

No one felt the need to tell the two people in the office this was happening.

Whoever found out the water was off did the hard way and then broke the door that was already off the hinges.

We can't order any porta-johns because we owe all the local companies.

So I now work in an office that has nowhere for me to pee or wash my hands, but a very lovely new exposed pile of human filth.

Lottel · « **Reply #2296 on:** August 29, 2012, 10:58:19 AM »

I was almost attacked by a crazy man today
He was walking down the street arguing with god. And god kept interrupting him. And this guy was getting angrier and angrier to the point he threatened to start murdering people. It was then he saw me and started screaming at the sky "I'LL DO IT! I'LL FUCKING DO IT!
I then hid behind a car and the guy walked up to where I was, started punching the air, screaming "I'M BETTER THAN THEM! I'M BEEEETTTEEEEER!"
As he was screaming, I ran off.

I really love working near two mental institutions and the jail.

Classic · « **Reply #2297 on:** August 29, 2012, 11:04:20 AM »

I didn't think Illinois actually had two mental institutions. Are you sure one of them didn't close a while back and just release all of its wards into the general population?

Ted Belmont · « **Reply #2298 on:** August 29, 2012, 11:35:52 AM »

I was also yelled at by a crazy person today! Mine was while I was at the mall during lunch, though. She yelled, "YOU'RE NOT MARRIED!" at me from across the walkway.

HOW DID SHE KNOW

Büge · « **Reply #2299 on:** August 29, 2012, 12:14:41 PM »

I wasn't attacked by a crazy person but I did see an old man in a motorized wheelchair with speakers tied to it blasting Greek folk music.

News:

Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177989 times)