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Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie  (Read 177831 times)

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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #240 on: March 31, 2009, 11:56:16 AM »

So uh enjoy your stimulus, regular paycheck people.  I'll just be over here shuffling through my $4K of unpaid invoices.

Is this going to come to kneecapping?

Please say you're going to have to Tonya Harding them.
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Classic

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #241 on: March 31, 2009, 12:16:07 PM »

I am something of a thug. Do you need any thug assistance?
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #242 on: March 31, 2009, 01:29:55 PM »

Possibly, "I'm going to have to Tonya Harding them.", and yes.

Though I much prefer goons, and even the occasional mug.

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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #243 on: April 01, 2009, 04:04:45 PM »

Oh yeah, today was pretty funny.

I have a cold. I went in and did most of my work and then decided to take a half-day off. I don't get a lot of calls (it's faxes more than anything - I get maybe 15-25 calls a day) and was thinking that oen afternoon won't be that bad and that I'd probably just have a couple calls in my voicemail in the morning. If that.

I called my manager (down in New Jersey) to let her know. The following hilarious conversation took place. Keep in mind the fact that I am the Order Desk, Customer Service, and a variety of other things for all of Canada:

Me: "Yeah, I'm going to leave at 12:30."
Her: "Ah, uh, okay. Hey is [The National Sales Manager] there?"
Me: "Uh, no... he's in Montreal. Why, what did you need?"
Her: "Uh, well, I was thinking maybe he could cover the phone while you're out."
Me: "...."

Hey, maybe he KINDA HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO? Maybe he also HAS NO CLUE HOW TO DO THIS JOB BECAUSE IT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY HIS RESPONSIBILITY?

Her: "Hey can you just wait there for a few minutes?"
Me: "Uh, I guess so?"
*click*
minutes pass, she calls me back. Give me instructions for my voicemail message. Also adds this gem:
Her: "Yeah, you know I was just talking with [her boss] about this yesterday, that we have no one to cover for you. I mean, you're gonna want to go on vacation at some point." 

At that point all I could do is laugh. I mean really, come on.

Not that anyone familiar with our company should be the least bit surprised that we had no contingency plan for [whatever... hell anything] at this point.
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Büge

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #244 on: April 02, 2009, 05:34:07 AM »

Sometimes I think you took that job just so you'd have stories to tell.
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François

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #245 on: April 03, 2009, 03:59:59 PM »

Alright, so, a member of my family works for the government. Today, she went to some sort of, uh, I'm not sure what it was, some sort of fair/expo for office supply and software companies to show their stuff, and her pass was paid for by her employer. Anyway, she participated in a raffle and won a brand new printer for her office. That's good timing because the one they have right now is old and busted and way overdue for replacement.

However, her bosses apparently think it's too much trouble and paperwork to just accept a free printer, so they told her to take it home and keep it.

On one hand,  :facepalm:.

On the other hand, there's a brand new 800$ commercial-grade behemoth of a laser printer sitting on the kitchen floor right now.
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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #246 on: April 03, 2009, 05:30:06 PM »

Is it big enough to live in?
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François

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #247 on: April 04, 2009, 06:01:08 AM »

Nah, that would be too awesome, at least then it would be useful. As it stands it would need to be about half its current size to fit on any furniture we have. ::(:

We're thinking about selling it, but we'd pretty much need to find a local business that needs and is willing to buy a no-warranty, no-service printer from an individual in this economy.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #248 on: April 04, 2009, 07:57:23 AM »

Nah, that would be too awesome, at least then it would be useful. As it stands it would need to be about half its current size to fit on any furniture we have. ::(:

We're thinking about selling it, but we'd pretty much need to find a local business that needs and is willing to buy a no-warranty, no-service printer from an individual in this economy.

If it's worth $800, you should be able to get $300 and maybe even $600 for it. That's nothing to sneeze at.
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #249 on: April 04, 2009, 10:44:21 AM »

...I'm trying to determine exactly what point I started living in a fucking sitcom.

:pimp:: I hate the car the insurance company gave me after my Corvette got wrecked.  The leather seats are too hard!
:thad:: ...my entire car cost four thousand dollars.
:itsmagic:: My car smells like cat pee.
:thad:: Yeah, dude, you gotta roll those windows up.
:itsmagic:: I would if I had any.
:goodnews:: Bad news, everyone!
:thad:: Uh-oh.
:goodnews:: Remember when I told you there were some bigwigs coming in on the 13th and we had to clean up the warehouse?
:thad:: Yeah.  We've been working pretty hard at it; I think we'll have it done by next week.
:goodnews:: They rescheduled.  We need to have it done by tomorrow.
:thad:: ... ... ...okay.  Let's go, gu --
(THAD'S STOMACH GURGLES)
:thad:: OH GOD WHY DID I EAT THAT FALAFEL LAST NIGHT

-----

:wat:: NEXT TIME: Thad's dating FOUR DIFFERENT GIRLS in the same week!
:thad:: How will I fuck this up and wind up sad and lonely again?
(LAUGHTRACK)
:thad:: Tune in next week!
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #250 on: April 04, 2009, 05:22:49 PM »

Holy shit, I actually got paid.

:victory:

I mean, I got it on 6PM on a Saturday, so I'll be sitting on a largish check for the rest of the weekend, but it beats the fuck out of the alternative which at least partially involved the IRS and what I can only assume is a gubernatorial branding iron.  Say what you want about this semi-employment gig, but it's at least thrilling.
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JDigital

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #251 on: April 05, 2009, 04:09:58 AM »

A company I work for has a glitch in their e-mail system that sends my project updates to the wrong e-mail address. Turns out three of my previous clients have been waiting for urgent bugfixes.

I don't get paid for bugfixes.
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #252 on: April 05, 2009, 10:44:22 AM »

...why not?
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JDigital

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #253 on: April 06, 2009, 02:43:19 AM »

I work on a quote, so more work on one project doesn't earn any more money.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #254 on: April 06, 2009, 03:13:02 AM »

I saw it as 'service for product is included with the purchase price of that product, where service is necessitated by design flaws', like a manufacturer's warranty.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #255 on: April 15, 2009, 09:57:02 AM »

Heh. Small amusments that I forgot to post earlier. So, up here in Canada, we get Good Friday off as a public holiday (also, monday is an additional holiday for public servants, banks etc.). I understand that many folks down in the US don't get Easter off as a designated holiday, so we notfied the parent company in New Jersey. Actually, I personally sent an email, to our warehouse manager, our director and, may manager two weeks prior, explaining it so that nothing was shipped for arrival while everything was closed.

On monday, I was checking my emails and noticed this gem from my manager, sent 9:15 Friday morning: "IT'S 9:15 WHY ARE YOU NOT LOGGED IN YET?"

 :lol:

Oh and also:

"Circle The Wagons" is not some kind of all-purpose catchphrase that is always relevant to the discussion through some kind of... MAGICAL TURN-OF-PHRASE SHAPESHIFTER GRAMMARIAN MAGIC.

GODAMMIT BILL, WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!?

 :enraged:
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #256 on: April 15, 2009, 09:21:17 PM »

Hey guys, today's high is 69 degrees!

Let's turn on the SWAMP COOLERS!
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #257 on: April 16, 2009, 08:08:37 AM »

ah you fucks

cant you see im trying to drive you off in order to stay off my wrist

stop agreeing to my unreasonable estimates
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Classic

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #258 on: April 16, 2009, 09:52:59 AM »

Get some ice Brentai. Or hire a coding bitch for the day to just do all of the typing you tell him to.
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JDigital

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #259 on: April 16, 2009, 10:12:05 AM »

Yeah, freelance work would be so much easier without all these clients.
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