Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177819 times)

Brentai · « **Reply #380 on:** June 10, 2009, 04:50:48 PM »

Quote from: Niku on June 10, 2009, 04:29:08 PM

is there an emoticon for "i hate you"

I think that one works well enough here.

François · « **Reply #381 on:** June 10, 2009, 05:20:59 PM »

So, yay military-industrial complex?

SCD · « **Reply #382 on:** June 10, 2009, 11:33:13 PM »

Quote from: McDohl on June 10, 2009, 04:21:27 PM

Verdict on my layoff:

I am officially on a "leave of absence" until August.

Until then, I get full pay and benefits as if I were still working, I just don't have to do anything.

Not bad. I hope you're saving like mad. Any plans for the future?

Brentai · « **Reply #383 on:** June 10, 2009, 11:35:16 PM »

An engineer with a military background can live like an American king in this economy. I don't think he has to worry that much.

Mongrel · « **Reply #384 on:** June 11, 2009, 11:56:14 AM »

Man, the National Sales Manager is weirding me out again.

Yesterday, we had a conference call with the US head office and he shelled and ate peanuts the whole time... but only doing it when he was talking.

Today he wandered into my office to ask about something. While he did so, he grabbed a long bamboo stick out of an ornamental 'office space potted plant' and started wildly whipping it around like a five year old kid who's just found himself a sword/swagger stick. I mean, he wasn't threatening or anything like that, it was just bizarre.

I mean, he's a good fellow and all, and has been helpful. But sumpin' jus' ain't right in that boy's haid.

Brentai · « **Reply #385 on:** June 11, 2009, 12:10:20 PM »

It sounds like he's just got some form of very mild schizophrenia, and is self-conscious about it.

...he'd be perfect for the WFE, in other words.

Büge · « **Reply #386 on:** June 11, 2009, 05:45:15 PM »

Your boss is Tyler Durden?

Mongrel · « **Reply #387 on:** June 11, 2009, 09:04:45 PM »

Only if Tyler Durden is 50+, white-haired and bald, with a mysterious divot in the top of his head.

Brentai · « **Reply #388 on:** June 11, 2009, 09:16:49 PM »

Tyler Durden is whatever you subconsciously want him to be.

Brentai · « **Reply #389 on:** June 11, 2009, 11:10:03 PM »

(Post deleted due to specific information which the client could possibly trip over.)

Long story short: I picked up my second IIS/ASP customer, and my first with a massive viral-hijack-phishing thing going on.

Büge · « **Reply #390 on:** June 12, 2009, 05:07:59 AM »

Quote from: What Happens When I Post? on June 11, 2009, 09:04:45 PM

Only if Tyler Durden is 50+, white-haired and bald, with a mysterious divot in the top of his head.

Ooooh, speaking of weird old dudes with misshapen heads, there's this guy who comes into the bakery for cookies (to bring you up to speed, the bakery at Sobeys has some cookies set aside to give to kids. It used to be called the Cookie Club, but nobody brings their card, so we don't bother asking). He rides in a motorized wheelchair and stinks of cigarettes, has eyes like Sartre, and has maybe six teeth. He normally wears hats, but my co-worker, Jason, once saw some suspiciously symmetrical scars on his head. He hypothesized that the guy was a lobotomy patient.

Mongrel · « **Reply #391 on:** June 16, 2009, 06:20:13 AM »

Heh. We're being GST* audited today by a federal revenue inspector.

The inspector is camping in my office for now. The funny thing is that the poor bastard actually looks like the cartoon sterotype of a Tax Man. He even has his glasses on a string.

For additional amusement, I was given specific orders to make him uncomfortable, but that's such foolishness. reminded me of that scene in Goodfellas:

Quote

...I always asked if they wanted coffee.
Some wives, used to curse at them and spit on the floor. On her own floor!
That never made any sense to me. It was better to be polite and call the lawyer.

*_{Federal Sales Tax}

Mongrel · « **Reply #392 on:** June 17, 2009, 12:06:47 PM »

God... why is the only person at this company who hates me my manager. Everyone else thinks I'm grand. Or at least likes me enough to fake it profusely.

Just my luck to always be answerable to angry slow-witted schoolmarms.

Arc · « **Reply #393 on:** June 17, 2009, 09:48:16 PM »

Have you tried putting out?

Mongrel · « **Reply #394 on:** June 18, 2009, 03:15:59 AM »

minus two points for failure to use advice dog.

I'm not sure she likes men... or any gender. She's one of those workaholic Aspergers' spinsters who can't even manage to be an old cat lady because cats don't like her. Fucking her would probably be like fucking a splintery board.

Yesterday that woman accused me in writing of trying to subvert her authority. Today I'll find out just how stupid this is going to get.

Oh, and the company was supposed to pay a shipping bill for me months ago. Turns out they didn't, even though they told me they had, so now FedEx is going to ruin my credit rating unless those stupid oafs fix this. Luckily my manager is NOT responsible for that one, so I might actually get it fixed.

EDIT: ehhh... that's far too serious a reply, I know. But the bitch just ain't makin' me laugh right now.

Arc · « **Reply #395 on:** June 18, 2009, 09:20:55 AM »

Quote from: Welcome to the Forums! on June 18, 2009, 03:15:59 AM

Nope.

Bang Da Boss

Hot Pockets

Mongrel · « **Reply #396 on:** June 18, 2009, 09:44:13 AM »

Hot pockets?

Mongrel · « **Reply #397 on:** June 22, 2009, 12:00:41 PM »

Our network connection is so poor that today everybody I spoke over the networked phone line sounded like Max Headroom and everytime I try to do anything on the remote server, it is excruciatingly slow. It takes 5-15 seconds for keystrokes to register and the mouse was sometimes moving a pixel at a time.

Of course our jackass IT director loves to blame others for any problems so that he doesn't have to fix them. He may or may not be legitimately overworked, but goddamn does he ever love to find ways to pass the buck or ignore stuff so that shit never gets fixed.

Shinra · « **Reply #398 on:** June 22, 2009, 05:00:10 PM »

During my eight hour day today, I hit submit on a single form and wrote responses to two emails.

Well, downtime is important to me.

(the reality is that I am severely bored but afraid to ask coworkers for some of their backlog because they will invariably hand me their shittiest orders.)

Mongrel · « **Reply #399 on:** June 29, 2009, 06:24:17 AM »

Two bitter, funny stories. One from this week and one from just now. Both are fun demonstrations of the unbelieveable things that people in this company will say with a straight face.

Last week, I asked for a fan, since the box they moved me to has zero ventilation. It is a completely enclosed space. So anyway, our Comptroller pointed out that I would need to get my department's permission, since the cost would be billed to them. Fair enough.

Now, I figured my manager would probably okay it, or at worst just say no. But her response was hilarious: I'm not in her budget since I'm in Canada. Instead claiming that my budget comes out of the Canadian Sales budget (which sure was news to Sales!), so, uh, hey you guys pay for that. The National Sales Manager and I had a pretty good laugh about that one.

----

So today I got a fax from a client for an account application. It was perfectly legible, though a bit small. I faxed to that to the appropriate Finance Monkey to set the account up.

So this morning, I get a "this fax was illegible" line. O-kay.

We scanned the originals here and I sent the images over to her. The scans were perfectly legible. But sure enough, I get a reply "I can't read this".

So hey, sure, I'll play ball. I mean, golly, that magnification tool in Acrobat can be a real scary complicated thing - and god knows that only a PROGRAMMING WIZIZARD can figure out 'fit to item to page' in the print settings menu. I mean, hell, what are you even DOING in the print settings menu? Normal business users are only certified to operate the one-touch print icon. Meddling with the printer settings is something only a Trained Professional should attempt. Adobe cannot be held responsible should untrained use result in an unsightly loss of limbs.

So anyway, I opened the scans, enlarged them myself, re-sent the whole damn thing.

Then I got a reply: Oh, uh, okay. I'll uh do this Wednesday when you're out of the office for Canada Day. Maybe.

And then to cap it all off, I got a call from that customer exactly five minutes later wondering why the order they wanted to place hadn't gone out yet. They hadn't called in a month.

News:

Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177819 times)