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[Shinra]

My last job was a God Damn Joke. Pizza Delivery is orders of magnitude easier to handle. I had an interview at a local place before landing my current job, where I said the reason I wanted to work at a pizza place was to have a less stressful job. The manager actually asked me: "What makes you think Pizza Delivery isn't going to be stressful?"

I gave him kind of an 'are you fucking kidding me?' look. I just got done with a 'gets paid 12 dollars an hour 40 hours a week to do a 30-40 dollar an hour 60 hour a week' job and a manager who employs people who haven't fully exited puberty yet thinks that pizza delivery is going to be as stressful or more.

[Büge]

So I noticed something on the swim home tonight. Whenever it's clear out and I've got my backpack on, my back gets all sweaty. But when it's raining my back is bone-dry. One of the great mysteries of the universe.

Also, my uniform pants have this weave that forces my undies to bunch up in my buttcrack.

[SCD]

With a legend?  Because these guys seem lost!  :D

[Lottel]

So I got a new thing. It's risky, but it pays off big time. I tried it out and wow. It worked wonders. Just have to find the right people.

A guy and his wife comes in, I say "Hey buddy. You look like you need a drink. "He asks "What? Why?" I point at his wife. "Because you came in with THAT. Two beers?" He laughs, she laughs, I laugh.  They leave at the end of their meal and I get a big tip.

Last time I did it? I got $23 off of two people.

[François]

I don't doubt it works on some people, but, I don't know, seems to me that if you keep doing that someone's bound to get nuclear pissed sooner or later.

[Mongrel]

Yeah Lottel, that seems like a REALLY FUCKING BAD IDEA.

... not to put to fine a point on it.

[R^2]

But if he keeps doing it, he can afford the medical bills to recover from the inevitable face-punchin'.

[R^2]

When I was working as a host/seater, a lady came in as the first customer of the shift and asked for a table in the nonsmoking section (this was years ago, in Tennessee, where they didn't have universal smoking-in-restaurant bans). I gestured toward the -completely empty- dining room and told her I could probably find her something. She went apeshit. "You'd better because I have asthma and" blah de fuckity blah. Some people got no sense of humor.

[Lottel]

I'm not saying I'm going to keep throwing that line out until I hit a good table again. More like I have this thing that worked amazingly once. And I'm going to keep it in my arsenal just in case it could come in handy.

Give me some credit, guys. Honestly.

[Joxam]

But its you, lottel!

[Lottel]

Which should be part of the reason why you are giving me credit.

[Classic]

I give you the benefit of the doubt! Does that close enough?

[François]

You are generally a cool guy but I refuse to give credit to the customer service strategy of insulting a man's woman, even as a joke.

I have been around too many women who would laugh at such a comment and apparently brush it off but would then obsess over it for months to the point of depression.

[Shinra]

Lottel's a good waiter probably because he can judge people effectively by their appearance and the way they carry themselves. I think he knows who to use this strategy on, and who to not use this strategy on.

People don't do well in these jobs without that kind of instinct.

[James Edward Smith]

I dunno, I really don't understand who that could worked on. I mean... insulting a guy's wife who you don't know while she is right there... that seems stupendously retarded.

It seems more like it would have to work the other way. Like, you insult a woman's husband's looks and then elbow nudge him to indicate you're not really busting his balls, you're just giving his wife a laugh because the common joke is that guys let themselves go once they are married (unless they are cheating) and guys don't feel self conscious about their looks once a woman marries them because our society doesn't make men care that much about their appearance outside of attracting a woman.

[Mongrel]

You are generally a cool guy but I refuse to give credit to the customer service strategy of insulting a man's woman, even as a joke.

I have been around too many women who would laugh at such a comment and apparently brush it off but would then obsess over it for months to the point of depression.

I dunno, I really don't understand who that could worked on. I mean... insulting a guy's wife who you don't know while she is right there... that seems stupendously retarded.

It seems more like it would have to work the other way. Like, you insult a woman's husband's looks and then elbow nudge him to indicate you're not really busting his balls, you're just giving his wife a laugh because the common joke is that guys let themselves go once they are married (unless they are cheating) and guys don't feel self conscious about their looks once a woman marries them because our society doesn't make men care that much about their appearance outside of attracting a woman.

Agree on both counts.



Also: Hey they did decide to fire me after all.

:badtimes:

... A week before the office is federally inspected by Health Canada. And a huge part of the inspection would have been them asking what I do and how I do it.

:schadenfreude:

[Büge]

Aw geez

You gonna be okay, big guy?

[Detonator]

I think I actually agree with Lottel on this one.  It seems mean spirited when written here, but if delivered with enough grace and comedic timing (and good judgment) it can be fine.  Obviously Lottel has enough of that to get by.

Besides, I don't think it was supposed to be taken as "oh my god, you're married to THAT ugly thing?" as much as "you poor guy, having to be here with your wife and not your drinking buddies".  I don't think calling someone's wife ugly would go over well in any situation (unless you're Jimmy Soul).  Or maybe if the wife is so obviously hot that it would be instantly seen as an ironic joke (but still probably not).

[Brentai]

It's like Poker.  If you know how to play the cards, how to read people, and when to quit, you can win big.

But if you play constantly, eventually somebody will have to break your kneecaps.


Also congratulations on your escape from a hell you've been complaining about for the past couple years, Mongrel.

[TA]

Besides, I don't think it was supposed to be taken as "oh my god, you're married to THAT ugly thing?" as much as "you poor guy, having to be here with your wife and not your drinking buddies".

Well, one of the differences between those statements is that one completely dehumanizes the wife, and one doesn't.  The fact that he's saying "THAT" instead of "HER" lends credence to the more misogynist interpretation.

This is a good way to get punched in the face, and you'll absolutely deserve it.