It may not be healthy, but in my quest to seek employment in my field, I have begun to think of hiring managers as The Enemy. I need only defeat them and claim their treasure, namely, a job, and peace and prosperity will cover the land.
So I have devised a stratagem.
I shall dig a trench outside of the office. When the hiring manager comes out of its lair, I will be lying in wait with my father's sword Gram, ready to strike from below and disembowel the ancient serpent. The trench will not only conceal me from sight, but also cause its blood to flow away rather than drown me.
Then I shall infiltrate the building. According to legend, being covered in hiring manager blood will render me invincible to all weapons of man and beast, so I should have little difficulty dispatching the security guards that guard the human resources department deep within the bowels of the office. There, I shall inscribe my name in the Ledgers of Employment, and claim the boon I have long sought.
This is an excellent plan that cannot possibly fail.