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Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie  (Read 177957 times)

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Ted Belmont

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #60 on: October 25, 2008, 06:46:32 PM »

The worst is when the Sprite syrup is out and you get a big cupful of carbonated water.  ::(:

Oh, and I put in notice today after finding out that my now former assistant manager(still works there, I just work in a different department now) lied about me behind my back to no less than three other employees.
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Alex

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #61 on: October 26, 2008, 10:09:57 PM »

Day 4 since the accident at work.

I think my leg is going to fall off after working my shift today.

SUPER ASIA...edit: Went to the doctor today.  Week off of work due to the sprain.  Worker's comp ahoy!
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Zaratustra

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #62 on: October 30, 2008, 05:29:24 AM »

A simple rule on how to make good software for companies:

Do not ever EVER promise to use ANY form of programming practice, language, environment or buzzword on your proposal that the client doesn't specifically request.

Because then your programmers will have to use it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to redo the entire project documentation in UML.

Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #63 on: October 30, 2008, 01:03:04 PM »

...I remember a classmate mentioning he'd put Scheme on his resume and then had an interviewer actually suggest having him use it.  He didn't take the job.
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Kayma

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #64 on: November 03, 2008, 02:32:30 PM »

 ::D: I got a job at a help desk at a large university.

...

 :ohshi~: I got a job at a help desk at a large university.
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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #65 on: November 03, 2008, 03:09:49 PM »

God dammit, I just got done with the move, and already I'm getting harped on to look for a job. The whole bullshit of interviewing, resumeing, lying,  brownnosing, fuck.

I know I need a job, I know I'm just fucking whining right now but god damn I just want a day or two off.
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Guild

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #66 on: November 03, 2008, 03:18:50 PM »

The worst is when the Sprite syrup is out and you get a big cupful of carbonated water.  ::(:

Oh, and I put in notice today after finding out that my now former assistant manager(still works there, I just work in a different department now) lied about me behind my back to no less than three other employees.

I expect a followup to this post.
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Shinra

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #67 on: November 09, 2008, 01:59:39 PM »

Being a form email responder is exactly as easy a job as you'd think it is, and it pays 11 dollars an hour in a state that has one of the lowest costs of living in the country.

I am the luckiest man alive.
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Kayma

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #68 on: November 09, 2008, 02:36:35 PM »

Being a form email responder is exactly as easy a job as you'd think it is, and it pays 11 dollars an hour in a state that has one of the lowest costs of living in the country.

I am the luckiest man alive.


:happy:

Just enrolled for my benefits today. I pay $25 a month for med, dental and vision. It's gonna be weird, having to go to the doctor and actually being able to do so.
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Metal Slime

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #69 on: November 09, 2008, 04:48:04 PM »

Being a form email responder is exactly as easy a job as you'd think it is, and it pays 11 dollars an hour in a state that has one of the lowest costs of living in the country.

I am the luckiest man alive.


I gotta find me one of those. 
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #70 on: November 09, 2008, 07:37:02 PM »

Oh hey, I forgot: I was fired from my warranty boss job last monday after trolling the VP one time too many. LOL... well that took about a year longer than I thought it would.
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Dooly

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #71 on: November 09, 2008, 10:06:54 PM »

I was, for a month, a tester on a recently released game that currently has its own thread on the Videogames forum, until I was fired for coming in late.  I'm afraid to be any more specific than that because I knew this guy personally (from a different tester job), and I don't wanna go out like that.  At any rate, any mention I see of that particular game still makes me a little  :sadpanda:.
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Zaratustra

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #72 on: November 10, 2008, 03:59:29 AM »

He won't install a sliding door four meters from us while we're working, right? That would be hours and hours of horrible drilling and hammering noises and I have a major headache -- oh god he IS going to do that.

Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #73 on: November 10, 2008, 06:01:33 AM »

Every time I look at this thread, I think about the untold thousands of things at work that were just so absurd. It was like literally working in a Dilbert cartoon.

Not "Haha, like, I'm literally working in a Dilbert cartoon." no, go get a standard Dilbert cartoon (well, okay, not counting ones involving Ratbert and satanic magic). That probably happened at my work.

I always wanted to come here and type endless stories about it, but the SHEER VOLUME of shit that would happen was so ridiculous that I couldn't be arsed to type it. That would literally have been a second job.

Work was a long struggle against management. At one point we were actually committing gross forgery of official company documentation to meet our requirements with our corporate partners. Why? Because of a one-line-of-code error that we warned management about the minute it was implemented. The probelem was only fixed after nine months of them simply... ignoring a completely corrupted database. There was literally no reason for this not to be fixed and when it was finally done, it took an hour and a half.

The company has the worst communication I've ever seen - it's not helped by the fact that our division - customer service - was in on constant open warfare with other divisions. In fact the IT director once made our director cry because he yelled at her so rudely and loudly - and she deserved it! Our Director and VP's style can basically be described as: 1 - Nobody needs to know anything to do their job. No matter how complex. Information should never be shared. 2 - Anybody who disagrees with us is wrong. Not in the traditional "management is always right" cliche, but to the point of actually blatantly making random stuff up right on the spot to 'win' arguments. 3 - Everything can be done by the seat of our pants. Major technical release affecting the entire customer base? Outsource a random internal operation with no infrastructure to do so? Spend tens of thousands of dollars on a program you can get for free? Abandon said program because it's not sexy enough (<- actual management complaint)? Fuck! WE'LL JUST MAKE IT ALL UP AS WE GO ALONG. 4 - (corollary of #3) Nobody - including other divisions or companies - needs any notice to do anything. We almost crashed Bell's (a major national carrier) entire cellular network on no less than three occasions that I know of. That merely the most egregious example among thousands. 5 - (further corollary of #3) 5 - Everything your employees do can be reduced to a single productivity number. If they don't match the metric, they are lazy troublemakers. If someone has responsibilities that can't be immediately quantified, those responsibilities must either be frivolous, irrelvant, or wholly imaginary. 6 - If another division doesn't give you an answer you want to hear, go over their heads and whine, even to completely separate companies.

I mean, we lived in an environment of complete, never ending chaos. We only had about one day in a given month without Random Drama. No word of a lie. I once ticked off thirty-seven consecutive work days of crises.

Our VP and director... well, I think in the end I hate them most for what they do for stereotypes of women in the the workplace (no really!). Imagine the worst, most useless, spin-pitching, control-freakish, irrational women you have ever known. Possibly someone in an institution. The director, sleeps about 3 hours a night, works for 20 and acts like this is normal. On unnumbered occasions she has emailed other department's directors to harangue them at 11:45 pm. When she called IT late at night, to ask for favours she had no business asking for, you could hear her kids yelling "mommy mommy mommy!" in the background while she told them "Not now, mommy is working" in her usual condescending patois - only problem was that this usually also happened at a quarter to midnight. Her husband actually called us on Christmas Day to desperately beg her to come home for the afternoon. But hey, the CEO's an oblivious little milquetoast salaryman with an alcohol problem, so big surprise there. I never heard so many people say "see what happens when you get a woman manager?" in my life. The whole thing was disgusting. Sarah Palin? Yeah. That. Only worse. At least Sarah wasn't directly observed throwing her own children under the fucking bus.

As for my department, well, our entire operating method became to lie, cheat, and go around management for everything. We frequently made them look terrible by admitting to other departments that we had received no training or support AT ALL on a new release or major update. We were a small department, one with no influence at all. Yet we survived and prospered longer than any other department by simply usurping all of our own management powers.

Survivived for two-and-a-half years, and made it from base peon to (effectively) Warranty Manager in that time (no raise for that though, LOL). In the end, I just ran out of patience and began publicly insulting and talking down to the Director (currently the acting VP for few months, until the regular idiot comes back). When they fired me, I assured them I would be reserved... and then came out on the floor and shouted to my colleagues "HEY GUYS, I JUST GOT FIRED!". There were probably a thousand better ways to have handled the whole thing. But honestly? I just didn't give a shit anymore.

I think the best thing was getting to assign myself my own title (another responsibility I blatantly usurped). I called myself "The Warranty Wizard".
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JDigital

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #74 on: November 10, 2008, 06:58:41 AM »

This is my latest venture:



I've spent about £25/$40 in Google ads in the past five days, with another £100/$157 already invested in other advertising on design websites for this month. I currently make about half of that in ad revenue from other sites. So far, a few interested people (or possibly spam bots), but no sales.

A massive waste if this doesn't pay off, but I'd probably just have spent it on plastic Mikuru figurines or something.
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #75 on: November 10, 2008, 09:06:24 AM »

I was, for a month, a tester on a recently released game that currently has its own thread on the Videogames forum, until I was fired for coming in late.  I'm afraid to be any more specific than that because I knew this guy personally (from a different tester job), and I don't wanna go out like that.  At any rate, any mention I see of that particular game still makes me a little  :sadpanda:.

Find me a game I worked on that I didn't blab about.

Although you're probably talking about a game that wasn't already available in another country.
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SCD

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #76 on: November 12, 2008, 12:21:45 AM »

Iron Mongrel - sounds like you needed to get out and dodge anyway.  Which cell provider was that you worked for anyway?

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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #77 on: November 12, 2008, 05:08:19 AM »

Iron Mongrel - sounds like you needed to get out and dodge anyway.  Which cell provider was that you worked for anyway?



Branson's Company*. Starts with a Vee.

Do not. I repeat DO NOT get a phone with us them. NOT here and NOT in the US.

Oh I got some news yesterday. Koipond still works there - he survived by going to the IT department and escaping Customer Care. In fact for the past couple of months, his job has actually been to tell that bitch director off when she comes nagging to IT. Which is daily and constantly (like, she will literally call every five minutes asking "Isitdoneyet?Isitdoneyet?Isitdoneyet?Isitdoneyet?Isitdoneyet?" Son, you've NEVER seen true micromanagement until you've seen that woman roll**). Anyway, he's always a ready supply of dirt.

So my friend Scott (the one with the band). He was a quality specialist in our dept. He's a really stand-up, no-bulllshit, what-you-see-is-what you get kind of guy. He's a damn good worker (better than me, I'm sure) and was probably the best quality guy we had. Well guess what happened? He made a personal phone call home to his wife, during which he complained about some of the normal everyday fuckheadedness there.

They called up the phone call, listened to it, and demoted him to buck private.

Yep, they shure is dirty bastids. A day at VM without drama is... a day you're not at work.

*Note that I don't have anything against Branson in particular. In my limited experience, he seems like an intelligent guy. I mean he very well could still be an idiot, but he he at least passes first and second glance.

** She once came over to me and said "I came over because it looked like you weren't doing any work". Well. I was.

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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #78 on: November 12, 2008, 05:21:45 AM »

Actually that reminds me of on of my all-time favourite exchanges with the Director. Please note that anytime she even TALKS to me, it consitutes micromanagement because there's at least two levels of management between her and me (on paper).

One of her favourite beefs was that anytime my co-workers and I talked about ANYTHING it constituted goofing off. Like, how dare we talk about work... how to solve a complex problem or arrange something  for an outsourced company, or talk to each other to avoid duplicating each other's work.

Cunt: "I would estimate that because you talk to [co-worker, my] fourty percent of all the cases you are doing are needlessly duplicated between the two of you because you're talking about them."
Me: "Really. And where did you get that statistic?"
Cunt: "I can tell by look at you two at your desks." (note: she sits at least 30 yards away, in a glass management enclosure nicknamed "The Fishbowl".)
Me: "THAT'S NOT A VALID STATISTIC." (Yes, I was condescending and yelled at her... gee why did *I* get fired? Hmmmmm...)

Oh yeah. It was like being in 2nd grade. At one point they decided I and my second-in command were talking too much. So they moved my desk to the corner. That's right. My corporate management told me to go sit in the corner. LITERALLY.

I didn't even get a red stapler.

EDIT:

Hell... that reminds me of ANOTHER story. I once heard the Director ACTUALLY SAY OUT LOUD to a fellow 9-5 Monday-Friday mid-level dude "uhmmm ahhh uhmmm... we're going to need to you to ahhh.... do this work this weekend, okay? Greaaaat. That'd be greaaat".

That was the quote. Almost word for word. Only she meant it. It took every bit of my power not to burst into hysterical weeping laughter right there. Actually, most days felt like that. That desperate crazy laughter that's the only alternative to just breaking down and sobbing.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #79 on: November 12, 2008, 05:38:20 AM »

Yeah... triple post. But I remembered another one... So my friend who was asked to work the weekend? He'd been with the company from the beginning. He's basically held management responsibilities for nearly a year and a half now, if not longer.

Anyway, about maybe 8 months ago, HR had sent out a survey to all the 'tenured' employees.

See, because this company is all about "Don't plan for the future in any way shape or form and then panic when it arrives!*", so there were a lot of short term consultants (who were summarily ignored in all their recommendations) and new hires (useless pretty faces... we hired a LOT of people on looks alone. Especially managers.**). And these recent aquisitions were always panic hires. Vastly overpaid panic hires. So a lot of loyal people who'd been with the company for a long time were understandably pissed.

In my friend's case they'd denied him a manager's title (and pay... he could give sweet fuck all about titles, but he made less than *I* did and he'd been there twice as long and had way higher levels of responsibility) for the same reason they always did: He wasn't a fashionable yes-man.

Anyway getting back to the survey, HR sent out a very long (and sometimes confusing) survey the porpose of the survey was to basically detail your actual day-to-day responsibilities. That way HR could (supposedly) correct pay levels, etc. They wanted to see what your actual title and pay were vs. where you should be based on the work you were doing. I suppose it was a good idea in principle.

My friend made a fatal mistake. The survey was supposed to be extremely confidential to each individual otherwise it was useless. But he just couldn't understand some of the questions (because he responsibilties were so broad, and poorly organized. Documentation was nonexistant) and... asked the director for clarification. I watched her come out and actually rationalize everything he did to a point where she convinced him to basically describe himself as an entry level customer service rep in all but name. I was sitting right next to him the whole time. I think that's possibly one of the most disgusting things I've ever personally watched anyone do.

Like I said... they shure is dirty bastids.


*The Future: Now arriving daily!

** Though that director was ugly as fuck... You mean when you never sleep it makes you look like a fucking cadaver? Really?


EDIT: PAGE BREAKS SAPPIN' MAH STORIES!  :MENDOZAAAAA:
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