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Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie  (Read 177900 times)

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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #140 on: January 14, 2009, 06:04:39 PM »

So, I've finally been at work long enough for Weird Things to begin to happen to me again. Seems that just goes with the territory.

Now, a brief backgrounder: The company I work for has been selling its product in Canada for years now, only through a distributor. This past December, they took over the whole operation and are now directly selling their own stuff to the Canadian market. The parent company is in New Jersey*. This means that the Canadian operations are tiny. There are only maybe 20 Canadian employees total, and only three of us in the Toronto head office where I work (I have my own office, it's cool and shit, blah blah whothefuckcares). I'm basically the entire inventory dept, the entire customer service dept, and the entire orders dept for the country.

So, the two other folks in the office with me are the Financial Controller, a family-mom type, friendly and good to work with... and the national Sales Manager, who I have silently dubbed 'Captain Creepy'.

Up until yesterday, Captain Creepy and I had an odd, but neutral relationship. I don't report to him (my boss and the entire chain of command I reply to are in New Jersey) thank god, and he has a totally different set of responsibilities, so there wasn't much to talk about. He doesn't say hi when he comes in, nor does he when he leaves for the day (but that's not that strange in and of itself). He's on the phone almost all the time, and usually closes his door/sits with his back to the hall/otherwise avoid contact with anyone in the office complex.

The oddest thing so far had been the crooked fake grin permanently graven into his face. You know, the kind of grin that nobody but a sociopath thinks is sincere. I mean, the Joker's smile has more warmth in it. It's like some kind of twisted poker face was violently imposed on him by an industrial accident. Certainly it has no bearing on his actual emotional or mental state, which is nearly unreadable and fairly unsettling. Every conversation with this guy was the living definition of awkward. Like talking to a man with an IQ of 78 who was trying to condescend so as to pass for the social worker minding the retards and not vice versa. Like a paedophilic uncle who you're safe from because he's not attracted to you personally. It was bad, but as I had little contact with him (and he is often away for trips to local markets), it wasn't that bad. Mostly it was slightly depressing because, hey, when your office population is so small, that usually results in a tight-knight group.

And then things got WIERDER.

As mentioned, Captain Creepy goes on trips often. The previous week, SEVERAL PEOPLE had mentioned he'd be away in Montreal this week. This was for work, not personal. Well over a dozen people knew where he was going - and I might well have even been expected to know where he was.

So yesterday he came into the office quite late. I assumed he'd gone for Montreal that morning. When he came in I though "Hey, maybe his flight was cancelled, that would suck" (there had been a snowstorm that morning), so I asked him if his flight had been cancelled etc. Just a friendly inquiry. He just blanked. His face would have been a mass of confusion if it wasn't for that artificial smile glued on. He deadpanned 'no' (all with that crooked smile) and then just sat there boring a hole into my forehead with his eyes for 30 seconds. I mumbled something about "oh good then" and wandered back to my office. Later I talked to one of the other employees to mentioned he would be there on Wednesday. Ha! Silly me! That was why! I had the wrong day! No wonder he was confused! Aha ha ha, what a faux pas.

That evening, on my way out of the office, I pause in front of his office door to wish him a good trip tomorrow and I got the following venomed reply (frozen bizarro grin still firmly affixed):

"You know Matt, I don't tell anybody where I'm going - not even my wife. When you ask me where I'm going, you sound like my Mother. You don't want to be my Mother."

Yes, exactly that. Word for word.

So with an idiot's cheerful grin I reply "Okay! You got it! See you!" and leave as fast as I can without running. I swear I was expecting him to pull a knife out his drawer and start fingering it. Certainly I suspect this man's mother is buried under a porch somewhere... but her voice carries on, if you get my drift.

Now, I'm not too worried. He's a spindly, late-middle-aged guy. And on the work side of things, he has made ZERO friends in my department. My manager hates him and my Director hates him because he keeps flaking out or dodging work. But still... CAPTAIN CREEPY.



*Which is actually a child of the Granddaddy company in France... that's right, I work for a Canadian subsidiary of an American subsidiary of a French company.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #141 on: January 14, 2009, 06:27:30 PM »

Addendum:

IM conversation after I told the same story to a friend:

Quote
Friend: that's epic
  Me: OKAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY
  Me: YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MY MOTHER
  Me: "NO, NO I DON'T ACTUALLY."
  Me: "REALLY!"
  Friend: or maybe you won't like him when he's angry
  Friend: he's either the anorexic hulk or norman bates
  Me: Like, this trip is NOT A SECRET AT ALL.
  Me: Also, I like the "I don't tell my wife where I go" line
  Friend: he's MI6
  Friend: lolol
  Me: "I'll be away on business this week... sometime."
"Oh? When will you be back honey?"
"Fuck you bitch!"
  Friend: LOL
  Me: BIZARRO LAND
  Friend: does his wife even know he has a job
  Me: LAWL
  Me: HAY I'M ON WELFARE R SUMTHING
  Friend: maybe she's just been forbidden from asking about the disappearances
  Me: Haha
  Me: Maybe he tells her he works for MI6
  Friend: Don't ask me about my business, Kate
  Friend: I'd like to be a fake secret agent
  Me: That would be pretty awesome
  Me: If it seems like you're leading a shifty double-life... it's because you are!
  Friend: YEAH
  Me: The exact flavour may not be what you sold... but hey you're a secret agent, anything you say is suspect anyway!
  Me: perfect!
  Friend: lol
  Friend: the ultimate cover
  Me: MY LIFE IS A LIE
  Me: O WAI~
  Friend: "seriously, I AM a secret agent"
  Friend: "ok right whatever"
  Friend: *spies with impunity*
  Me: The next scene has the guy in ragged clothes, panhandling
  Me: With a cardboard sign
  Me: "I AM A SPY"
  Me: "please give generously"
  Friend: fyi I am a spy
 
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #142 on: January 16, 2009, 05:20:20 PM »

So, okay.  I started work at this company as it's expanded its IT department -- well, expanded its IT department in ARIZONA, anyway.  It used to have IT all over the country, but now there are only two shops serving the entire company.

So they're in the process of expanding the work area and the warehouse space to deal with the increase in work and hardware.

The upshot of this is that the other temp and I spent yesterday moving pallets of computers and related equipment and putting them on new shelves.  The boss is out of town this week and one of the other workers said this was his top priority and he'd want to see the warehouse cleared out when he got back.

We had it pretty close yesterday -- at least, the stuff that had been out in the middle of the floor was put away.  There's a hell of a lot left to do, but our warehouse space was open for walking and moving stuff.

Then today we got a truckload of shit in.  Old PC's, old printers, and, worst of all, CRT monitors.  By 10 AM, everything was back to the way it had been before we started.  On the positive side, it gave me an opportunity to use the word "sisyphean".  On the negative side, we didn't think to take a picture BEFORE everything got fucked up again.

So, on what I'd been hoping would be a low-key Friday with minimal time spent in the warehouse, we instead wound up working harder than any other day this week.

I am very much looking forward to a three-day weekend.  Course, I haven't logged enough hours to actually get PAID for Monday, so that kinda sucks.

...but really, bitching aside, I think the bottom line is that, if they offer to hire me on full-time at the end of my contract, I'm going to be hard-pressed to say "no".  Yes, I'm doing grunt work, and no, it's not at all appropriate to my education, my experience, or my talents.  But the pay's fair, my coworkers are mostly nice guys, and, well, I have a job in this miserable damn economy.

And it's still better than my old job.  Not as mentally stimulating, but superior in pretty much every other way.
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #143 on: January 16, 2009, 06:14:00 PM »

I had to skip sleeping for a couple of nights to finish a job over New Year's.  No check in sight for that one, and the people I did it for are incommunicado.  They've still got the rest of the month according to the legalese on my invoice, but man am I done with this freelance shit.  Not that I can really go from freelance to full-time right about now.
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SCD

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #144 on: January 19, 2009, 07:49:56 PM »

SCD's 24-day Workweek:  Day 1

This seems like it's going to be an adventure.  The team is going to be deployed in multiple places, and in between I will be spending some extra time deploying repeater sites all across the area.  While at first I was happy to be on salary, this may be just interesting. 

I'm alright with it, coming out of multiple teaching engagements where I seldom got a day off save an afternoon or a morning here or there. 

I'm interested in seeing how the other four people go.  One of them has recently been to the sandbox, but he isn't the brightest.  Two of them are retired, and the last dude - a keener, will most likely be my support when shit gets rocky.  The good news is that this way I save money. 

Food?  Home Heating?  Electricity?  I am certain to save bigtime for these things - enough to have a kickass party when the dust settles.  It's like they say: "Work Hard, Play hard"

Other highlights include flying in flying coffins, having more smoke grenades than I can possibly could throw in a day, misuse of government tobbogans, and a robbie burns day feast in a 5-man artic tent 1900m above sea level on a blustery, snowy eve. 

Today, nothing too interesting happened.  No one was around, so I played grease monkey, so I got to spot the individual issues with the antiquated, yet beloved two and a half tonne trucks I use. 
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #145 on: January 19, 2009, 08:46:09 PM »

flying in flying coffins

Everyone's perennial favourite, a Sea King (fuck yeah, Seaking), or something even more insidious?

Given that about half of the aircraft in the possession of our armed forced probably qualifies as 'morbidly decript' - after about 20 hours of maintenance work, so I suppose it doesn't really matter what you're flying in.

:mikey:
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #146 on: January 19, 2009, 09:10:50 PM »

...also, I forgot to mention that when we finally finished getting all the shit out of the truck and I was on my way back to the office to sit back and take a break, the doorbell rang because UPS was there to drop off MORE shit.

My reaction went something like this:

(DOORBELL)
"Really?"
(DOORBELL)
"REALLY?"
(DOORBELL)
"REALLY?!"
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Alex

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #147 on: January 19, 2009, 11:10:27 PM »

So I picked up a new job at a different gas station (Flying J, so it's more of travel plaza) since I walked out of my last job because the district manager was a douchebag.

"okay hey alex i know you have some permanent leg damage but i need you to work from now (November 22nd) until December 17th with new days off come on you dont need your leg anyway"

And somehow I'm getting paid $11 an hour!?  WHAT?
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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #148 on: January 20, 2009, 05:38:39 PM »

...another truck today.

And we're out of shrink wrap, which really limits our options for stacking monitors and such.  We thought we'd gotten some in, but it turned out to be cellophane.  One of the other guys had some unkind words to say about our purchaser.
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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #149 on: January 25, 2009, 03:27:40 PM »

"okay hey alex i know you have some permanent leg damage but i need you to work from now (November 22nd) until December 17th with new days off come on you dont need your leg anyway"

What's the difference between a new day and an old day?
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Alex

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #150 on: January 25, 2009, 06:53:46 PM »

It was a typo for 'no days'.
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SCD

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #151 on: January 28, 2009, 11:46:14 PM »

Day 9:

My overall contract's one third over. 

Having a bit of a 'vacation' this working weekend and a couple days.  I'll be leading a two-man alpine helidropped detachment - the one I've been looking forward to.  Got fucked over on many things, the lessons I gave last year were outright ignored, and my overlords seem more content with micromanaging and restricting what I can and cannot bring, despite already being passed down a weight and volume restriction. 

That's alright.  Hiding a 0,6kw generator for the radios, and using a couple custom LED-strips I made the over the holidays for lighting versus the CO-emitting lantern 24-7. 

Another supervisor wants to pull me off what I'm doing while I'm prepping for tasks that have no relevance to any of my positions.  I'm pretty much ignoring him now with the "smile, nod and acknowledge" routine. 

In the last couple days, I also found another summer instructing position from april to sept.  I've also re-enrolled for university in a city far far away. 

Weather for this weekend looks pretty ugly.  Rain far below the alpine line.  I suspect I'll have very low visibility.  Will not be bringing camera, or novely goggles.  Will try for ski goggles or alpine sunglasses. 


Spent previous weekend teaching/attending refresh classes in a metropolitan garrison.  Spent mornings sweeping frost.  Spent afternoons revising lessons.  Spent evenings at bar with computer scientist friend.  Mocked people for the concept of sweeping frost and ate much fancy ethnic food.  Woke up at 5am on both mornings. 


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Thad

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #152 on: January 29, 2009, 04:45:58 PM »

Work's been pretty fucking nuts.  As previously established, it's an IT job on paper but a warehouse job in practice.  And every time we get shit sorted, another truck comes in to dump more fucking CRT monitors for us to inventory and stack.

Today a truck came in unexpectedly.  During a mandatory meeting.  So it was just me, the other temp, and the driver unpacking an entire truckload of shit.  It took until lunch.

I'd brought my lunch in a bag but decided fuck it, I was going to treat myself at the local burrito joint.  I got in my car and turned the radio on; NPR was talking to people who had just lost their jobs.  I had a good gallows laugh as that brought everything into perspective.

The truth is I've got job security.  There is way the fuck more work than the current permanent staff can do; the boss has authorized them all to do 20 hours of overtime a week for the near future.  That's evidence enough that he's probably going to hire us when our contracts are up.

When we got back from lunch he told us apologetically that he hadn't known the truck was coming, and also asked if we could pull down some overtime if he arranged it, with the caveat that they give a lot of money to the temp agency and his company might not approve time and a half because of that -- all of which is further evidence that he's looking forward to being able to hire us on without the agency taking its cut.

Topping that off, one of the other guys told us later that the boss has requested permission to hire MORE temps, since there's more work than we can do by ourselves.

So, yeah.  Pretty crummy job some days, but it looks pretty secure at this point.  To the point that the other temp and I both announced we were leaving ten minutes early today, rather than ask permission.  We'd done all we could for the day; no sense sitting around on our thumbs for ten minutes and pretending to work.
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #153 on: January 29, 2009, 04:51:28 PM »

One of the things I miss about Square QA is that I could fuck off whenever I wanted and nobody would blink.  Of course that had a lot to do with the job being redundant by nature and them paying the hiring company a lot more by the hour than they paid me.  It sounds like they might actually miss you if you disappeared, though.
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SCD

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #154 on: January 29, 2009, 06:13:28 PM »

"Oh, and just before you leave tomorrow, you'll want to find some space in your tobbaggan for fifty smoke grenades"

...I don't know what I plan to do with them, but the mountain's going to look like the frakking cat in the hat by the time I step off..
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #155 on: January 30, 2009, 03:57:16 PM »

Wow, I'm so fucked.

So, backstory: Over the past three months, the company decided to have no fewer than three major events take place simultaneously: 1 - Take over the distribution operations for all of Canada from a third party (this is how I got my job), 2 - Introduce an entirely new database system, imposed on us from the parent company in France (to conform with international ISO certification), and 3 - do Financial year-end.

Well at every stage of this process, the estimates of time and labour involved were cut as desperately razor-thin as possible. There was literally no room for error. Well guess what? If you said "That's retarded", you're right!

And it looks like in the three-way fight, Canada is losing HUGE. As of this typing, the Database is due to go live monday. This is irreversible.

The database has not been uploaded with any Canadian account information other than name and address (there is a LOT MORE than just that), we have NO PRICING on file, the Canadian tax rates have not been properly configured, the freight charges have not been configured, and every single account is marked as being assigned to a one particular sales rep (even the other sales rep's presonal accounts... LOL!), so that in theory all sales commissions would go to this one person.

This has ben a joke. We service 200 hospitals and the entire Canadian computer system is MY CREAKY LAPTOP. I only even received an account profile for the new database on wednesday.

As if that isn't enough, the first part of the transition was so fucked that just about every invoice we sent out billed customers double or triple what they were supposed to pay. AWWWW YEAH!

And I have 4 days training. My god, if I wasn't such a quick study, I have no clue what they would be doing. God knows there are gaps in my knowledge as it is.

I mean, almost none of this is my fault, and nobody is blaming me (yet), but the Canada takeover was the CEO's pet project so, uh... HILARITY. And somehow the Canadian operation is losing every single fight for time and resources (this is almost certainly because we're small potatoes compared to the US operation). Absolutely everything that's going wrong, is - and I have to depend on people who are already drowning (or who don't care) to save me. Good luck with THAT... most of the internal emails I send get no reply.

Maybe I'm not to blame, but I *AM* responsible - and at the epicentre of this clusterfuck.
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Büge

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #156 on: January 31, 2009, 10:31:18 AM »

So are you just drawn to operations built on sand, Mongrel? It sounds like your job's about as secure as the Canadian border.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #157 on: January 31, 2009, 05:10:41 PM »

You know, I get very depressed whenever I realize that the people in charge are grossly dumber than I am, because really... I'm not too fucking bright.

That said, it's still heaps better than my last job. Garden variety laziness and shortsighted idiocy is pretty run of the mill, really. And it's a hell of a lot better than being in a place that operates on pretension and LOCO WEED.


...


43k a year, my own office, and a boss who's in another country also help to soften the blow. I just worry they're mismanaging this SO BADLY that a: I'll SOMEHOW get blamed for not working hard enough, or b: they actually fuck this up so badly that the Canadian operations fold.

B is obviously more serious and less likely, but MAN, you could sure fool me into thinking they're trying.
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Mongrel

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #158 on: February 02, 2009, 05:29:38 PM »

HEY GUYS!

GUESS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE COMPUTER SYSTEM THAT RUNS YOUR ENTIRE NATIONAL DATABASE AND ORDERING SYSTEM IS ON A RICKETY LAPTOP OF INDETERMINATE AGE?


WOO WOO MOTHERFUCKERS!
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Brentai

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Re: Your Job: The Movie
« Reply #159 on: February 02, 2009, 06:04:18 PM »

Your entire database is picked up and carried off by the Hamburglar?
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