Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177907 times)

Brentai · « **Reply #220 on:** March 20, 2009, 05:27:27 PM »

Is... is Newbie breaking kneecaps for a living now?

jsnlxndrlv · « **Reply #221 on:** March 20, 2009, 05:34:06 PM »

Hey, it doesn't have to come to that. You pay your debt, your kneecap gets to stay right where it is, and everybody's happy.

Brentai · « **Reply #222 on:** March 20, 2009, 05:41:35 PM »

Awesome. We can now hold it over SA that we have an actual, real-life goon.

Classic · « **Reply #223 on:** March 20, 2009, 06:08:30 PM »

I am forever unloved.

Dooly · « **Reply #224 on:** March 22, 2009, 11:00:48 PM »

You're going to have people shooting at you, dude.

Rosencrantz · « **Reply #225 on:** March 25, 2009, 10:53:42 AM »

So, uh, my new part-time job is pretty great and all, but today (just before I got to work) an old man shit his pants and now the entire office reeks. The bosses sent me out to get a bunch of deodorizers and disinfectants, but now it smells like vaguely flowery shit in here.

Mongrel · « **Reply #226 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:02:37 AM »

Quote from: Rosencrantz on March 25, 2009, 10:53:42 AM

So, uh, my new part-time job is pretty great and all, but today (just before I got to work) an old man shit his pants and now the entire office reeks. The bosses sent me out to get a bunch of deodorizers and disinfectants, but now it smells like vaguely flowery shit in here.

Where on EARTH are you working?

Also, 'human odour' (be it BO or... other things) combined with cheap deoderizers or scents is one of the most sickening smells on the planet.

NO YOU STUPID FAT FUCK. FEBREEZE IS NOT AN ALTERNATIVE TO BATHING. AGHAHAHGAGAGAGAHQripawhua

Rosencrantz · « **Reply #227 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:06:59 AM »

Quote from: Iron_Mongrel on March 25, 2009, 11:02:37 AM

Where on EARTH are you working?

County Veteran's Affairs office. Old people coming in and out all day.

Mongrel · « **Reply #228 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:11:15 AM »

Ah.

Speaking of work, things are surprisingly... okay right now!

We still lurch from crisis to crisis but even though I'm newer than most folks, they keep coming to me, because I'm the only person who answers their emails, bothers to be friendly, explains things, finds out what's going on, or gets shits done.

Also my workload has gotten much lighter partly because of a mysterious decrease in overall volume, but also because SOME things are finally working properly.

Hell, Captain Creepy is still, uh creepy. But he's been a pretty good ally. Basically, he's still the same, his speech and mannerisms not revealing anything about his emotional or mental state, but at least some of the time he's friendly and helpful in his actions, so that's a net gain.

The only downside is they finally figured out how to get the remote network working, so my boss can finally watch my calls and times from the head office, but for the most part I can work around that, preserving my rather 'carefree' attitude.

... All this means is that I am probably due to get massively fucked in some terrible way soon.

Niku · « **Reply #229 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:24:38 AM »

The other night we had a customer come down from the midnight movie with the complaint "I am just trying to watch The Dark Crystal, and the lady in front of me will not stop farting."

After a few bewildered "what"s I managed to realize he was both serious and he genuinely wanted us to do something about it (perhaps pull her aside and tell her to make her colon stop), but the best we could do was give him and his friends some free passes because seriously, what the fuck do you do in that situation?

Lady Duke · « **Reply #230 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:36:24 AM »

You show the Dark Crystal at your movie theatre? :3

Niku · « **Reply #231 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:55:25 AM »

We did last weekend!

Niku · « **Reply #232 on:** March 25, 2009, 11:55:33 AM »

and some chick kept farting

Mongrel · « **Reply #233 on:** March 25, 2009, 12:47:41 PM »

Dear Sir,

In your professional opinion, would you say the expectoration (hereinto described as a 'fart'), could best be categorized as a 'poot', 'fweep', 'blat', 'flrrppp', 'pfft', or basso profundo?

Regards,

An interested party,
_{Brig. KBE, OG (retired), mrs.}

TA · « **Reply #234 on:** March 25, 2009, 01:08:06 PM »

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

fuck prosecutors. fuck them with hammers.

Arc · « **Reply #235 on:** March 25, 2009, 01:16:00 PM »

Is that a promise, or a threat?

Mongrel · « **Reply #236 on:** March 26, 2009, 01:03:35 PM »

This is pretty funny.

We had a problem with the phone queue today. A very simple one, where a poorly designed interface caused a bit of confusion. I figured out what happened right away but my manager couldn't understand when I tried to explain.

I had to play dumb just to let her figure it out on her own. Not because it was a pride issue, but because that was the only way I could make her understand what had happened.

Amusements!

Thad · « **Reply #237 on:** March 28, 2009, 03:08:10 PM »

Let's talk about hardware.

There is nothing that pisses me off more than seeing a piece of hardware that comes back with a sticky on it that says "Broken", "Doesn't work", "Bad" or some other worthless fucking thing. You know what that tells me? It tells me you thought of yourself and put a note on your thing so that you wouldn't accidentally try to use it again, but you didn't think of the techs back at the depot who would eventually have to figure out what the fuck is actually wrong with the thing beyond "Broken". How the fuck hard would it be to write "Won't power on", you ASSHOLE?

Oh, and hey, if you're sending us an ENTIRE PALLET of monitors that won't power on, how about including a note that says "None of these monitors power on"? That would have sure saved me the trouble of testing every single one of the fucking things!

On the plus side, at least somebody knows how to pack fucking monitors on a pallet. We keep getting them just thrown on loosely, which inevitably means they get the shit knocked out of them and are scratched to hell by the time they reach us. Fun fact: warranties cover hardware defects but not scratches.

So at least, out of an entire pallet of poorly-labeled bad monitors, only one was actually scratched. So that's good.

McDohl · « **Reply #238 on:** March 30, 2009, 07:45:25 PM »

Quote from: Thad on March 28, 2009, 03:08:10 PM

Let's talk about hardware.

There is nothing that pisses me off more than seeing a piece of hardware that comes back with a sticky on it that says "Broken", "Doesn't work", "Bad" or some other worthless fucking thing.

This is my world, only with large metal things that, by all rights, SHOULDN'T be in the air.

There's this one pilot who seems to take some perverse pleasure in writing gripes that sum up to "Thing didn't work."

Brentai · « **Reply #239 on:** March 31, 2009, 08:17:53 AM »

So uh enjoy your stimulus, regular paycheck people. I'll just be over here shuffling through my $4K of unpaid invoices.

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Author Topic: Your Job: The Movie (Read 177907 times)