Oh boy! I've finally finished all these side projects for clients I've been bilking the fuck out of, now I can just slack off all day for my regular client and spend all night playing TF2.
Uh, yeah, we've got a progress review tonight, so, ah, I need you to finish a ton of shit today.
Yarr! Oh well, I guess I can actually work today.
HELLO I AM A CLIENT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FROM IN TWO MONTHS AND I AM UPSET ABOUT YOU NOT ANSWERING MY EMAILS
Um well that's because
HOW ABOUT I PAY YOU A DISPROPORTIONATE RETAINER TO ANSWER MY EMAILS
Okay.
Hello sir I am an artist who knows shit all about computers, please let me let you overcharge me for simple as shit. Today.
Well I'm kinda busy here but if money is involved I uh
HEY I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY BUT IF YOU HAVE TIME CAN YOU RIP ME OFF TOO
STOP GIVING ME MONEY!!!!! NO!!!