Topic: What's Cookin'? (Read 95027 times)

Mongrel · « **Reply #760 on:** February 14, 2011, 08:37:27 AM »

Wait... somthing went right for you?

*slowly inches away from R^2*

R^2 · « **Reply #761 on:** February 14, 2011, 09:24:37 AM »

Sort of. It's not like building a good portfolio is going to guarantee me a job.

When I move to Nashville in a few weeks.

To move back in with my mother.

Because I'm too broke to live.

God dammit Mongrel.

François · « **Reply #762 on:** February 14, 2011, 09:37:30 AM »

Quote from: R^2 on November 18, 2010, 05:16:42 PM

Not off the top of my head, but:

Take a plate or cookie sheet and turn it over, line it with paper towels.
Slice tofu into steaks or slices or however you want it.
Place on paper towels, cover with more paper towels.
Top with another plate or cookie sheet, put in the fridge, and put some heavy cans on top for weight.
Leave overnight and/or change the towels when they're moist.

Now you've wrung out all the water in the tofu, and it'll suck up marinades and sauces like a sponge. A little vinegar, a little oil, some seasoning, a plastic bag, and another couple of hours will make something magical, I'm sure.

I just did that, with this marinade and sautéed onions and bell peppers. It tasted alright, but with every bite I took, my brain was sending more and more death signals. After four, it's like my stomach locked up to protect me from a perceived poison; had I gone for a fifth it would all have come back out. It felt like I was trying to eat something that's not food, like I was chewing foam rubber, or biting into a piece of cheese made from the milk of a cow that had no soul.

The family liked it fine though, so yeah, it turns out I just don't like tofu very much.

Mongrel · « **Reply #763 on:** February 14, 2011, 09:46:59 AM »

Quote from: R^2 on February 14, 2011, 09:24:37 AM

Sort of. It's not like building a good portfolio is going to guarantee me a job.

When I move to Nashville in a few weeks.

To move back in with my mother.

Because I'm too broke to live.

God dammit Mongrel.

D:>

Is this better than moving in with your father (which was the last miserable fate you mentioned)?

TA · « **Reply #764 on:** February 14, 2011, 11:01:11 AM »

Quote from: François on February 14, 2011, 09:37:30 AM

Quote from: R^2 on November 18, 2010, 05:16:42 PM
Not off the top of my head, but:

Take a plate or cookie sheet and turn it over, line it with paper towels.
Slice tofu into steaks or slices or however you want it.
Place on paper towels, cover with more paper towels.
Top with another plate or cookie sheet, put in the fridge, and put some heavy cans on top for weight.
Leave overnight and/or change the towels when they're moist.

Now you've wrung out all the water in the tofu, and it'll suck up marinades and sauces like a sponge. A little vinegar, a little oil, some seasoning, a plastic bag, and another couple of hours will make something magical, I'm sure.

I just did that, with this marinade and sautéed onions and bell peppers. It tasted alright, but with every bite I took, my brain was sending more and more death signals. After four, it's like my stomach locked up to protect me from a perceived poison; had I gone for a fifth it would all have come back out. It felt like I was trying to eat something that's not food, like I was chewing foam rubber, or biting into a piece of cheese made from the milk of a cow that had no soul.

The family liked it fine though, so yeah, it turns out I just don't like tofu very much.

Did you sautee the onions and peppers in the same pan, with the same oil and sauce and stuff? Before or after or at the same time as the tofu?

Brentai · « **Reply #765 on:** February 14, 2011, 01:34:03 PM »

I'm imagining a bearded, sweatshirted, bandanna wearing hobo sitting crosslegged in front of a group of trash cans with a sumptuous buffet of braised chicken and shit spread out in front of him.

François · « **Reply #766 on:** February 14, 2011, 03:04:15 PM »

Quote from: TA on February 14, 2011, 11:01:11 AM

Did you sautee the onions and peppers in the same pan, with the same oil and sauce and stuff? Before or after or at the same time as the tofu?

I did the vegetables just before the tofu, in the same pan and oil since I figured it could only help the flavor, which in and of itself turned out alright; it's the texture that made my digestive tract hit the panic button. Could that have done it, though?

TA · « **Reply #767 on:** February 14, 2011, 10:46:12 PM »

Quote from: François on February 14, 2011, 03:04:15 PM

Quote from: TA on February 14, 2011, 11:01:11 AM
Did you sautee the onions and peppers in the same pan, with the same oil and sauce and stuff? Before or after or at the same time as the tofu?

I did the vegetables just before the tofu, in the same pan and oil since I figured it could only help the flavor, which in and of itself turned out alright; it's the texture that made my digestive tract hit the panic button. Could that have done it, though?

Oh, I have no idea. It sounded delicious so I wanted to do it myself, is why I was asking.

The texture of tofu just doesn't work for everybody, though. Or is it possible you have a soy allergy?

Classic · « **Reply #768 on:** February 15, 2011, 12:27:22 AM »

Tofu's texture is pretty weird, yeah. It's possible the texture's so unappetizing you don't want to eat it.

I dunno how it could be a soy allergy though. Soy is almost as ubiquitous as corn syrup. You'd think that he'd have noticed by now.

Oh well! TIME FOR SCIENCE!!!

TA · « **Reply #769 on:** February 15, 2011, 12:35:35 AM »

Could be a mild allergy, weak enough that trace soy in things doesn't really do anything but eating bricks of processed soy will do it. Allergies are a spectrum thing.

Classic · « **Reply #770 on:** February 15, 2011, 12:43:10 AM »

You are not excited enough about inducing dangerous immune responses in our friend FOR SCIENCE.

François · « **Reply #771 on:** February 15, 2011, 08:22:25 AM »

brontosaur science
we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us
except the ones who are dead

[spoiler]the tofu may not be a lie but it sure tasted like one[/spoiler]

In all seriousness, I really don't think I'm allergic. Me old ma makes pancakes with tofu as a major ingredient, and those are fine, though they're made with some sort of dessert tofu that's probably just far less offensive to the touch. That's actually why I tried that pan-fry recipe. I figured I was going to give tofu a legitimate try and give it a chance as a stand-alone thing. Sooooo yeah, no.

Also I've had soy-based faux-burgers before, which tasted completely horrible but I was at least able to keep them down.

R^2 · « **Reply #772 on:** February 17, 2011, 09:41:27 AM »

Curds and whey salad, garnished with tomatoes and cucumber. Curds were handmade, of course.

Braised chicken, wilted chard, and scalloped potatoes in cheese sauce.

Those potatoes looked pretty great, even straight out of the oven.

Hand-cut linguine noodles, tomato sauce, and meatballs, garnished with basil and served alongside blanched asparagus spears.

Chocolate custard pie, with hand-whipped cream.

Büge · « **Reply #773 on:** February 17, 2011, 12:37:09 PM »

It all looks so good! C-can I get a discount at L'R^2?

Mongrel · « **Reply #774 on:** February 17, 2011, 12:45:15 PM »

Yeah, this guy's pretty good at his budding trade. The 2nd and 3rd look especially tasty.

The last pic actually looks like pumpkin pie, but this is by no means a bad thing.

Brentai · « **Reply #775 on:** February 17, 2011, 02:37:21 PM »

Why the fuck can't you get a job with that? Do you live in McDonaldland or something?

Norondor · « **Reply #776 on:** February 17, 2011, 02:54:35 PM »

your qualifications are impressive but i'm afraid we are looking for applicants who are made entirely of french fries and sneakers

R^2 · « **Reply #777 on:** February 18, 2011, 03:05:03 AM »

I just recently made the leap from "I can't get a cook job, so I must not be a good cook" to "I'm a FUCKING AWESOME cook, fuck those guys, seriously".

However, this still leaves me as baffled as you are, Brent.

Büge · « **Reply #778 on:** February 20, 2011, 07:27:00 AM »

I made chili today. Unfortunately, the packet labeled 'Chili Powder' was, in fact, cayenne powder.

Mongrel · « **Reply #779 on:** February 20, 2011, 07:34:39 AM »

At least the container didn't melt on your stovetop.

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Author Topic: What's Cookin'? (Read 95027 times)