It's time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Nerd Store.
A week ago, I witnessed a Warhammer 40k tournament. About eight players, using up 4 double-tables. (Each game uses a 8 foot by 4 foot area.)
I normally do not mingle with this group of players at the store. They play on seperate nights than us, and typically each group (mine and theirs) tends to refer to the other as 'That other game'. People like their game, and think it's better than the other. Almost like arguing over the kind of sports bracket you prefer (AFL / NFL, etc.)
I had bought the new 40k starter box. It's called Battle for Blackreach, and it's a damn bargain. You get a pocketsize version of the rulebook minus the cool stories and art. You get some dice, plastic measuring sticks and:
One Space Marine Captain
Two ten man space marine groups w/ rocket launcher
One five man team of terminators
One dreadnaught (with MELTA gun!)
One Ork Warboss
Five Ork Nobs
Twenty Ork Boyz, and I think there's two big-shootas in their mix
Three Deff Koptas (With ROKKIT LAUNCHAS!)
I don't even play this game! I quit, I sold 50% of my eldar and all of my orks to Kayin and his friends to fund my moving away from mom and dad. What the HELL could have compelled me to buy this?
The box is $60. You might ask why that's a big deal. Those five terminators up there? A retail box of terminators sells for $49.99.
The models in this box are SLIGHTLY lower quality. You can snap these models together, you don't even need freaking glue. As a result some models have noticable seams. Big fucking deal. Those Deff Koptas don't even have actual retail models last I checked. So giant advertising blitz aside, this is a great box for you and a friend to play 40k for $60.
Back on topic. I came in today to hang out with the store owner. There's a lot going on in the store, I'd like to help him keep an eye on things, and I consider myself very much his friend by now. We just wanna assemble and paint.
Oh, did I paint. Made a fucking awesome Deff Kopta. I watched some of the others play. The Blood Angels guy is playing with a bunch of older rhinos, a ton of marines, a dreadnaught, and a few other toys. They're all bright eyesore red. No shading, all one flat color. Somewhere inside me the art minor I earned is crying. But that's no the point I suppose. They're playing and having fun. Across from them there is a younger boy, maybe 12-14 or so. Playing some Chaos against some Necrons. They have a rules arguement. Voices don't get raised, but it slowly became a contest of who can quote what rules, what FAQ rulings, etc. They couldn't come to an agreement. After a moment, this boy had a Phoenix Wright style 'I found the hole in your logic' smile. He didn't Phoenix-point at the guy, but he pointed at the model in question, and cited something I didn't quite hear that made the people gathered by their table kind of quiet. The Necron player looked like he wanted to react like a defeated lying witness on the stand. In my head I heard the gavel and victory music.
This nerd-boy has sprouted his first neckbeard hair, and has become nerd-man.
I get my chuckle and continue painting. I have declared my marines will become angry marines. (Future post, with pictures, I promise.)
I talk some more with the game shop owner, and agree to run an upcomming Warmachine event (Also future post, though I just did that event today.). The shop owner has to leave and one of the people not playing 40k hovering about comes to sit with me.
We small talk a bit, and I start to notice a trend. He's an older fellow, played 40k in the older days when space marines could actually throw grenades, and fire NERVE GAS into their enemies for pretty much auto-kills. And orks had 'The foot of Gork' template which was an actual foot, crushed tanks, and then afterward that area counted as an entrenchment. Well, I began to notice he would take any comment of mine and use it to lead into one depressing story or another about his experiences with the game. His head would nod down and he'd sigh. I said I had played Eldar before getting fed up with the game. He replies with a comment about how he loaned an army to someone and then their car got broken into and it was all stolen. There were a few other bits like this too, again mentioning his space marines don't play like they used to, or you can't do this anymore, and they made this less fun.
Jesus christ, why do you even come here? You aren't playing. I'm not even sure if you're a friend with one of these players. AUGH! LEAVE ME ALONE.
As time went on, I kept an ear on the 40k games. There are so many times I hear these guys talk about a few rules and either someone doesn't know how it works, or they come to mutual agreement on how to resolve something. I understand that no game covers everything, but this is occuring semi-often here, and is why I no longer play 40k. The rules are fucking rubbish. They tell you how to play, but there are certain interactions of army specific rules that don't make sense. Half of this has to do with the fact some armies have rulebooks that are 5+ years old, and aren't even written for the current ruleset, so you have to make some leaps of logic to make it work. Not everybody makes the same leaps of logic in the same way. This inconsistency drives me insane. Warmachine keeps a massive FAQ for odd interactions, or when something is simply not clear. There's even an official rules answer forum where approved regulars in their community get to issue answers and they keep a public tally called 'The list' of specific rules issues with no immediate answer. And they WORK on those! Last I checked, the 40k message boards were shut down by GW, and the only way you get rulings is through asking questions at tournaments, or second-hand forums that I question how 'official' those can be.
But I keep my mouth shut. Damn this Deff Kopta looks good. Oh Fffffffff--- I dropped it.. Okay, no damage. Fuck, I forgot to paint the handlebars and his little tiny guages on the dashboard there.
Oh well. Time to go home. These 40k guys are starting to creep me out. Wow. That ork player has 250+ models on the table. That's fucking determination. In my warmachine games, I think I peak out around 30 models. Guy has what looks like a padded rifle case to carry them around in.
Next story: Max runs a Warmachine tournament, with all the fixings. BUT THIS TIME, HE IS NOT PAID FOR DOING SO. D:
