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[MadMAxJr]

For five years, I worked as an employee in a hobby games store.  Hobby game stores are those stores you find in the smallest slots of strip malls that sell card games, board games, miniatures, and the kinds of games that make you actually sit and do things with other people.  We didn't do comics, we didn't do video games.

It's a Saturday, late afternoon.  Weather is clear but a hair humid.  Boring day for the most part.  I'm working the front counter with one of our full-timers, while keeping an eye on the game room.  Mostly card gamers and some of the older guys doing WW2 miniature battles.  Gentleman enters the store.  Looks middle class, possibly mid-30s.  I've seen him in the store twice before.  He does what he has done the last two times, walks up to the rack of Warhammer 40k miniatures, and mutters about the expensive prices.  After ten minutes of fidgeting with the blisters of figures on the wall, he walks over and asks the same question.  "Do I get a discount if I buy an entire army at once?" to which I reply with the ever hasty "No.".  He gets this confused look on his face, and goes back to looking.  But this time it's different....  He's putting things on the counter...  Box after box after box.  These things are mostly $50 and up, and the blisters are anywhere from $10 to $20 a pop.  Picks up a stack of books for the game, puts them down.  End result is about $550 in space marine stuff.  Enough plastic and pewter to keep a hobbyist busy for years.  I hear the magic words.  "I'll take these."  Hot damn.  Biggest sale of the day.

Thirty minutes later, he returns everything.  "I don't think I can do this." I hear.  I grit my teeth and resist the urge to impale this man upon a pike and place him as a warning to others.  The toy pitchfork in the back room would be sufficient after working it in...  I can see it in his eye.  He was expecting a discount.  This ass was expecting a change of heart.  He continues, "But I'll keep that one book.  I like to collect the books!".  He speaks as if I could possibly give a rats ass about a $20 purchase, while I'm about to re-inventory the remaining $530 that we had neatly bagged.  My co-worker shares in the glowering stare, and obviously fake pleasant tone of voice to this 'customer'.  Our continued replies to him are as short as possible to him, expressing disinterest as he tries to explain his interest in the game, and the prohibitive cost.  I am curious why he is dishing out his opinion like an open floodgate at Hoover Dam.  The playerbase around our area for 40k was dwindling, the main player group for it was at a store on the northern side of town.  Unless he's hiding three friends in his garage full of 8' x 4' gaming tables, I don't see why this guy is trying so hard.

I never saw him again, but I recall hearing the others having to deal with him, and I believe he still asks for a discount.

Some of you might say, "Well money is tight, and you're an asshole."  and you would be right.  But the trials of retail counters grind your soul into a sharp edge.  You cease to care.  On a good day you care.  On a boring, slow, agonizing day you don't see people.  You see vessels of monetary units that could contribute to your figures at the end of the day.  I was somewhere in the middle.  It wouldn't had pissed me off as much if he had done this on the first try.  It's the fact he tried to grind me into a discount over time.  I'm sorry, but this is a niche market, and we need what we can get.

More stories to follow.

[Büge]

I think it's ironic that some people would consider yours to be a dream job, being surrounded by their favorite pastimes. Then they realize they actually have to deal with the people who try to beg their trades with you or brag about their collections and/or tourney wins.

I hear it's even worse for girls that work in game stores.

So how often do you get people wanting to give you resumes?

[James Edward Smith]

Oh yeah, well the Jerk Store called and the clerk there told me an anecdote about how some guy wanted a discount for no reason on you!

[Kazz]

To be fair, Warhammer 40k is the Alienware of tabletop games.

[Niku]

So how often do you get people wanting to give you resumes?

Every other day, just about.

[MadMAxJr]

I hear it's even worse for girls that work in game stores.

We never had a girl work for us, but there were a couple regular girls in the store.  One was a late teens girl with a fairly trim build.  She played magic.  On PTQ or pre-release events, in a room of 300 mostly fatbeards or sweatys, she had the magic ability to manipulate them in the most subtle ways.

So how often do you get people wanting to give you resumes?

I had at least a couple people ask me if they could work there.  They thought I was getting paid to ring up sales and play games.  That statement is true, however I'm not paid to play games to have fun. I'm paid to play games to make them sell.

For example, I really like the game Warmachine.  I got into it, and at the time, it was a miniatures game with a low cost entry point ($50, and a few things you already own, like dice and paper) gave you everything you need for a 30-40 minute playtime.  The designs were really cool (steampunk robots and wizards with swords), and it really caught peoples eye.  So I talked with some of our regulars and we were going to get in on the starter kits and try it out.

The ball got rolling.  So we started playing a few games on Saturday, on the work clock to get peoples attention.  Either people looked over to see what we were doing, or wanted to give it a try.  Bingo.  Interest.  Since the core game mechanics could be explained in ten minutes, and someone could sample an entire game in 30 minutes, it was an easy mechanic to guage potential players.  The sweet spot was the fact this game prints all major rules for models on cards.  Magic players really like this concept, and some drew analogies between that game and this one (resource management, checking card combinations for synergies).  So about a year later I've got a playerbase of somewhere around six to eight players.  Most are in their teens, being magic converts, they found the money they drop on magic they could invest in this game.  A few even took to enjoy the hobby of painting.  I even got one to quit smoking by offering to buy his starter box, under the condition his friends can ensure he keeps up his part of the bargain.  And the most important part is that people are having fun with this.  The secondary and almost equally important part is that they are making regular purchases for this game.

A few years later, the game is in larger swing.  The company that makes it now offers organized play rules.  We have a player who acts as an official for the game (The rules do not allow a store employee to be an official for the game).  We have roughly twenty players who show up regularly.  There are a few problem people in the group, but nothing too serious.  These people now request preorders for items yet to come out.  Guaranteed business, for a product they are enjoying.

What's the catch?  I'm awful at the game.  Every game, I show my opponent neat tricks they can do with the unique powers of their army, I ask them to consider the options they have as they hover a hand nervously over a figure, so they might see the better move.  I even let them take back a move when they make a horrible mistake.  Even though I no longer work for the store, I STILL DO THIS OUT OF HABIT.  But this has had a noticeable effect even for the local store I visit, people overhear us play and go 'That guy can do WHAT?', and all of a sudden I've caused a sale.  In return my array of troopers and robots turn to blood and scrap.  Sigh.

You can't shove a product down a persons throat.  You have to carefully guage what they want, or show them many reasons why a product is considered good.  If possible, give them a hands-on feel for it, and re-evaluate if this right for your customer.  Their reaction should make this perfectly obvious.  And if people can see other people enjoying the product, you've gotten the product to where it can sell itself.  Stay knowledgeable about the product line, and the upcoming releases to provide your customer base with the latest tidbits.  It is impossible to do this with all of your products, so pick a few you like that you have, or can create a customer base for.  It's simply easier to do with products that you yourself enjoy.  In the case of this store, each employee had a particular field of specialty, and many of us crossed over on a few subjects, like board games.  You don't have to be their friend, and you don't have to be a salesman.  If they take an interest in something you have to offer, help them immediately get into the fun part and understand why it is fun.

[Angry Beaver]

The guy that used to run my LFGS was good at convincing someone (perhaps just me) that I wanted something. The fact that he's gone now is the major reason I don't shop there anymore.

[Doom]

I work at a Toys R Us' Electronics Section and am totally immature enough to derive joy from being around my hobby. A big part of it is simply comfort zone and being able to read the back of boxes in slow times. You know, tricking the reptile part of my brain into ignoring the flow of time.

It's also fun trying to convince middle-aged women why this game is good and this game is bad and why Super Smash Brothers Brawl has a teen rating for farting and explosions that don't produce blood.

Unfortunately, I once had a mother-daughter pair(grandmother and mother) buying a DS and several games for Grandfather. They took Baby Pals over Professor Layton because "He wouldn't get this game about puzzles." I'm sure he "got" the game made for five year old girls.

Max: He's a retard for trying to trick you into the discount, but that's some pretty legitimate buyer's remorse. I'd love to run an Orks army if it wouldn't cost as much as the X-Box 360 or Playstation 3 I'm also interested in.

[R^2]

After such an experience I would have hung a sign to the effect of disallowing returns on purchases of miniatures.

[Kazz]

Well, I think it goes without saying for any of us that, given an infinite amount of money, we'd have an infinite amount of toys.

[Doom]

I more meant that as long as I don't know anybody in reality who Warhammers, it is but a dream.

Naturally, I heard about a local comic shop yesterday and intend to go there this week. 

[MadMAxJr]

Miniatures games are only going to get more expensive, except for those who have jumped ship to make plastics.  GW is trying to make more plastics.  Rackham (I don't know how many of you even know of AT-43 or Confrontation) has pushed for ALL plastics.  But for the wonderful detail of pewter miniatures, there is this thing called tin, and it's gotten bloody expensive for some reason.

Anywho, I don't have another long-winded post, but I have a short story I got second hand from a fellow employee that is fun to share.

Friday night.  That means Friday Night Magic.  So there's probably thirty or so people in the game room, card-slinging and talking smack.  In comes an incredibly gaudy, crossdressing goth.  Completely reeking of some kind of perfume.  This thing walks down the middle of the room, past each MTGer, and posts a bulletin on our cork board that apparently blurs the line between personals ad and gaming ad.  They say the adams apple was quite pronounced.  Even after it left, the odor lingered for some time.  Turns out the posted bulletin was also soaked in the same scent.  It was put in a baggie, and I believe it was later burned.

Kinda glad I wasn't there for that one.

Let me ask you all this.  Are there any strange myths or questions about nerd stores you would like answered?  How do I get into a gaming group?  How do I not go fucking broke and enjoy it?

[Büge]

I'd love to run an Orks army

Wish I'd known that before PDS '07.

Miniatures games are only going to get more expensive, except for those who have jumped ship to make plastics.  GW is trying to make more plastics.

Thank goodness I bought my Fellowship/Two Towers minis four years ago. I saw the plastic starter set versions in the catalogue and they look ugly with a capital barf.

How do I not go fucking broke and enjoy it?

That one, please.

[Kazz]

How do you deal with the kid who comes in every other day and blows $100 on Magic cards or whatever?  Don't you ever want to, like, take him aside and say, "Hey, man, you could have bought a pretty nice car by now?"

[MadMAxJr]

To answer Buge on the 'How do I not go fucking broke', there are a few rules we have to set in place first.  Before you can think about money for games and such, you BETTER have some kind of established budget plan for yourself, where you allow X dollars to go towards whatever you want.  There are two levels of involvement when it comes to most hobby games.  "I want to play this casually." and "I am ready to spend part of one day, every week playing this."

If you are looking to play casually, I would really recommend looking at the board game selection.  A nerd store is going to offer stuff FAR more detailed and interesting than your typical Milton Bradley stuff at Toys R Us.  Settlers of Catan, Carcassone, or any board game made by fantasy flight games (personal recommendation: Twilight Imperium, but more on that later.).  To play casually, save up your money over a period of time, and invest in one or two things that is going to occupy you for a while.  Be sure you have at least one or two reliable friends you can sit and play with in person, regularly.  If they're not total chumps, and not of the 'this is MINE' variety, consider having them chip in.  Some of this stuff is expensive, but again, look for one time investments.  Simple board games run in the $20 to $30 range, the awesome big ones that require some reading but have incredible return value cost $60 to $80.  Most good games require at least three players, the cheaper ones do well with two.  Most european designed games are built in a way that everybody can play to the end.  Most american designed games eliminate players as you go.  Not true in every case, but it is a trend.

For those of you ready to dedicate at least six hours a week doing something more involving, be it a gaming club (everybody gets together weekly, plays something) or a full blood miniatures game, you're looking at doing regular investments at regular intervals.  I say investments, because you /are/ dedicating a part of your life to gaming if you go down this path.  If you're not ready for that, go back to doing something casual.  If you want to do a gaming club with your buddies or the local crew at some nerd shop, great.  You wanna do a miniatures game?

DON'T PANIC.

You can actually do these things.  But you're going to have to pace it.  Warmachine?  They got a starter kit for $50.  You get between three and five figs, and a starter set of rules.  40k (or any other GW game), get your core rules and and a book on an army that interests you.  Yes, they're in seperate books.  That right there is going to be about $50.  Any other miniatures game?  Good luck drumming up interest large scale.  Anyway, back on track.  You're going to have to gradually get into your game.  I do not advise jumping in and slamming the bucks down on a full army right away, unless you've played something before.  Start with a goal of buying up your core units.  For Warmachine, you've got your leader and some warjacks (or warbeasts if you get the Hordes stuff).  For 40k, look at buying one of your HQ choices and two of your Troops choices.  That's the foundation for the game.  You should probably buy this core (Leader and some basic dudes) in one go.  Beyond that, you should pace it out.  Hopefully you can get a friend to go in on this commitment with you, so you can both grow at the same pace, and have someone with a collection on part with yours, until you meet the quota for whatever amount of figures you need for 'the standard game' size.  Now, for basics, don't panic about the painting thing, honest.  Get yourself a hobby knife (that's an exacto knife), some superglue, and some accelerant (Zip kicker, zap a gap, it's the stuff that makes glue bond instantly.)

Put your dudes together.  Read over the rules.  Take notes.  I am not fucking kidding, you're going to get it wrong a few times.  It happens.  Don't be a jerk about it with your friends or the local store goons.  You're learning, it'll take a little while.  Play your first game.  Take notes on stuff you're not sure how it works.  Work it out on the table, but don't spend forever looking up stuff in the book.  Are you having fun getting the basics down?  Did you do something cool?  If you lost, do you know why you lost?  If you answered no on any of these, you should reconsider where you're heading in the hobby.  If this is totally un-fun, I suggest you learn about ebay, hawk your stuff, and go back to Brawl, or whatever it is you kids play.  If you liked what you just did, congratulations, you are on the road to 'game store nerd' status.  Hobby games can be very rewarding, but they are expensive.  As your learning of your chosen game grows, learn more about other options available to you, and consider if you want to buy them.  If you can the rules for something that interests you, 'proxy' that thing in a friendly game and see if it's right for you.

These things are time consuming.  Don't try to lie to yourself about it.  Putting together figs, and playing can take up some time.  Those of you with significant others are going to notice some serious complaints if they don't understand what draws you into the hobby.  It consumes time, and money in moderate amounts when done correctly.  Things your S.O. might want.  I'm going to tell you up front, I don't have, nor do I intend to find a girlfriend while I'm still into gaming.  Unless the legendary nerd girl comes along.  They do exist.  And they will usually mop the fucking table with you.

Don't worry about painting your dudes for now.  If you're really interested in how you get started on that stuff, ask and I will make another wordy post.


Now, for Kazz's question.  That's an interesting scenario.  And there are some things I will evaluate...

Kids tend to come to a nerd shop, because they have friends there, and younger kids play CCGs of some kind.  They'll drop their allowance on tournament fees and packs, and strive to compete with others.

I classify kids in a store into a few groups.

* Good behavior
These kids come to have fun, spend just enough to have a good time, don't cause any trouble.  They tend to make regular, small purchases.  I would ask these kids off-hand about what other things they could do with this money.  And sometimes they might stop to think about it.  I don't press the issue, because the bottom line is, I was an employee, and we would kinda like to earn our paychecks.  But, it does cross my mind.  Top-notch kids of this caliber usually get to hang out with the staff after hours, and play in some of our private games.

* Moderates
These kids treat you like an ATM.  They want X, and they will pay you for it.  These kids tend to spend a little more, usually on a regular basis.  These are usually the kind of kids that being 'friendly' isn't in the vocabulary.  They like tournament play, but most aren't a total dick over it, but they will take advantage of situations.  These ones sometimes cause trouble, so I take no extra effort with them other than take their money.  Some of these can be turned into good kids, some never change, and others are on the path to the next item...

* Utter Assholes
These kinds spend little to no money.  A small percentage spend every penny they get (Mommy and daddy replace parenting with 'Here is some money, go away for a few hours'.  Yes, these really exist.).  They cause problems.  They do things like pay cash for cards with other people (A huge no-no in our store, and many in the area.)  They usually want to do anything that benefits them, and fuck anybody who gets in their way.  They will mock others, they will use smack talk when it's not appropriate, and they will probably even resort to the occasional cheat.  I generally encourage them to spend more money, while they're not causing problems.  Find new addictions for them when they pop up.  I have no moral qualm wringing them of every dollar when they have little to no social value.  Some of the harder cases will do something monumentally dumb, and get removed from the store on a probationary or permanant basis.  Few of these can be reformed.  Take everything, give them nothing.



I said I'd get back to Twilight Imperium, didn't I?  Did you like Master of Orion 2?  It's kinda-sorta like a big boardgame of that.  Three to six players.  Gonna have to do your homework, the manual is huge.  The first two turns of play, you're going to be learning.  Once you get past it, it is a fucking awesome game of strategy.  Lie to your friends, make diplomatic ties, bribe them with 'trade goods', and more.  The actual communication between people is like a metagame on top of the regular game rules for moving ships around, colonizing places, and waging war.  The game even has political rules, and the game can parts of the game can get weird when laws go into effect that prevent or enable particular tatics.  The mix of racial abilities only complicates this, but it's a hell of a good time.

I wrote this post really late at night, so if I missed something, or you want to learn more, ask away.

[Büge]

Don't worry about painting your dudes for now.  If you're really interested in how you get started on that stuff, ask and I will make another wordy post.

See, this is the part that really interests me. I love the assembly, painting and customizing. If I had a camera, I'd show off some of my favorite pieces. Recently I stripped some of my older, more embarrassing looking ones (on account of I painted them before I knew what primer was) and am planning to hack them into better looking custom jobs. It's the kind of thing I could parley into a career, if I was of an entrepreneurial mind.

I'm probably a little rusty after all this time, so I'd like to hear what you have to say.

[Air]

Top-notch kids of this caliber usually get to hang out with the staff after hours, and play in some of our private games.

:Slowly backs away:

[MadMAxJr]

Top-notch kids of this caliber usually get to hang out with the staff after hours, and play in some of our private games.

:Slowly backs away:

Your reaction is understandable, but here's a shocker.  Gamers aren't always social recluses with overt sexual perversions.  They DO occur, but when I talk about after-hours games, it's usually people hand-picked because they either work there, or are particularly awesome people.  It's like a premium event.  It's also fun to watch people tap on the glass while we point at the closed sign.

Buge, in regards to your painting comments, I could go into my full lecture on 'how to paint a fig', but I'd need to start taking some photos and that's pretty much an entire seperate thread chock full of juicy content.  So here is a highly condensed version.

Miniatures and you.

You will require:

• A miniature.
  
• A selection of paint.
• A little jar with water.
• A hobby knife/exacto knife.
• Some superglue.
• Some primer (spray can)
• Paint brushes (I would recommend a Round 0, 1, and 2/0)  You can get these fairly cheap at a hobby lobby.)
• The ability to accept this is a learning process and you cannot simply start at 'awesome'.
• Some place to work where your parents/girlfriend/subconscious will not execute you if you spill a chemical or cut your working surface

In addition, I recommend:

• Cheap plastic safety glasses (I had a close call with an exacto.  I can take a cut on my finger.  I cannot take a cut to my eye.)
• Superglue Accelerant (Zap-a-gap, Zip kicker, etc. BE CAREFUL.  This stuff causes a chemical reaction that puts out a fair amount of heat.  Superglue on hand + accelerant = mild burning sensation.)
  

Now, you newbies or non-gamers are going to say 'But that stuff all costs money!'.  Well, if the idea of spending money to make your stuff look nice is out of the question, then by all mean play with your bare metals and just read the parts on assembly, okay?  Some gamers may casually chide you for playing unpainted, but seriously, it should not be an issue unless you want to jump into certain kinds of tournaments for your game.  Seriously, if it's not fun, focus on what is fun.  Play the game!  Anyway, moving on..

Okay.  So you've got some basic supplies.  Let's say you got a miniature that is newbie friendly, with a fun russian theme.  But when you have it, it will be in various pieces.  Play with the pieces in your hands, see how they fit together.  Not every company gives you instructions on how a model goes together, so you might have to work off refrence pictures.  But I know how this one works.  You get an upper torso, lower torso, left arm, right arm, head, legs, and the boiler on the back.  You'll notice when you fit it together, the bulky upper body hangs over the legs, around the arms, and would be hard for a paint brush to get in there.  So, easy solution.  Do this model in two parts.  Glue those legs to the base, and put together the upper part seperately.  Consider your glue accelerant.  It bonds it NOW but the bond is weaker.  If you've got flash on your model (this is excess metal that sticks out in either strands, or kind of thin and papery on parts of the model), use your knife to trim it off.  If you want perfection, get a set of hobby files to clean up the edges.  Otherwise, forget it, it will look okay on the table.

Okay, you got it together.  Great.  Get a spare cardboard box, or some newspaper.  Bring your figure and that can of primer along.  Did you buy the fancy stuff at the shop?  Man, you paid like $8 for that didn't you?  The stuff they have over at the hardware/auto store for $3 is just as good.  I personally recommend Krylon or Rustoleum.  You can even spend a couple bucks on a can-gun.  It's a pistol grip for your spray cans.  For beginners, make SURE you have black or dark grey primer.  This will become obvious later.  Shake up your can as the instructions on it say to do.  Hold the can about 8 to 10 inches from your model, and spray in gentle side to side motions, sweeping from top to bottom over the legs you glued to a base, and the upper half you've got sitting there.  Let that stuff dry for about ten minutes.  If it doesn't have a liquidy shine at this point, you should be able to gently flip over the upper torso and spray the other side of it.  Let it dry.  Did your model turn to fuzz?  That is because you live in a high humidity environment.  Don't try to do this when there is snow outside either.  Primer is about as picky as your mother/girlfriend/subconscious.  Don't stress over getting every single angle covered in primer.  Make sure you get just enough on there to turn the metal to the color of the primer on the surfaces you will typically see when this thing is on the table.  Too much will cake in all the pretty details.  Give it a couple hours to dry.  Go do something else for a bit.

Okay!  Paint time.  Hmm, I forgot something.  You need a pallet.  Get a paper plate, or one of those 99 cent paint trays from hobby lobby.  On this model, it's pretty much red, black, steel, and a bit of bronze.  Huh?  The grass on the base in the picture?  No, that's another lecture, stay focused here.  What is the dominant color here?  Lots and lots of red and steel huh?  Well get a little bit of paint on your pallet (or use directly from the jar, depending on brand).  Get the tip of your brush wet in your water jar, and get a little paint on the brush.  Do not let the paint go more than half way up the bristles.  Once it gets into the neck, it will harden, and make your brush stiffer and a step closer to being utterly useless.  We'll get into cleaning these things later.  Anyway, work your way over the large flat surfaces.  Don't worry about getting the cracks and the crevices.  You'll notice that the hard to reach spots remain black, like trim lines (See the little hatch on top in the picture?).  Tada, you just pulled off DETAIL.  If it's not even, you can touch it up with black or whatever you want to do.  Continue working on your dominant colors.  Rinse your brush a bit in your water jar when switching colors.  If it starts looking a little thick or 'caked on', don't fear..  It's your first model, and this is something you can learn to control in due time.  If it happens a lot with your paints, put a single drop of dish soap into your paint or your water jar.  This helps break up the surface tension of your paint and helps it flow a little better.

Okay, pick a slightly smaller brush, and work on those detail colors like the blacks and bronzes.  If you're not afraid to paint those rivets, go for it.  Detail is how you make your dudes stand out.  If you're new to this, don't go crazy and try and paint some freehand badass art design on the figure.  Stick with the basics for now.  Do you not like these colors?  Well to be honest, I stuck with the picture paint scheme because the colors they use here are fairly forgiving.  Yellow, white, light red are difficult colors in most brands because the pigments are just a little different and do not always spread evenly.  This model uses darker colors with pigments that spread in an easier manner.  Don't worry about shading techniques, highlighting, or inking.  This is your first model.  If you want to try something 'extra' on your first try, see if you can get an ice blue, or bright orange into the eye sockets to make the thing look alive.  Bonus points if you can keep part of the black trim at the edges.  If your hand is steady enough for that, you might be able to work up to more advanced tricks soon.

Okay, glue that torso onto the base.  I hope you left the peg that sticks up out of the hips, and the hole in the torso bare.  If not, grab that knife and scratch a little bit off in there.  The metal-to-metal bond will work a bit better.

If you haven't done it yet, you'll notice that sometimes the edges rub off after some handling.  Well, touch that back up if it happens.  I forgot to tell you to get a cheap can of matte (non-shiny) or gloss (shiny!) sealer.  It's another spray can.  Once your figure is acceptable, and you want to say 'I'm done', take it back to your spray area, and give him some spraying in a similar manner like you did with primer.  If your figure turns black, one of two things happened.  1. You're an idiot and picked up your primer again.  2. Congratulations, you bought a faulty can of Games Workshop Clear Sealer that was actually mislabeled black primer.  Sigh discontently, then kill yourself.  Well.  No.  Hold off on that.  Take our your rage in a constructive manner, and I'll help you out with that in a minute.

Do you like what you see?  Do you see room for improvement?  Was this fun?  You don't want to say no at this point, you spent a bit of cash to get here.  Try the step below.

If you're happy with what you see, congratulations, you just made your first little guy capable of killing other little guys who are over there, usually of another color.


"Max!  I screwed up/hate this paint job!"

Well guess what?  You can make a magical 'undo' jar.
Get these:

• Castrol Superclean.  This is a degreaser agent you can find at a automotive store.
• A glass jar big enough for you to put a figure in.  Perferably one you can seal.
• Rubber gloves.  The kind you use for kitchen/cleaning work will do.
• Old toothbrush

Castrol Superclean is (or claims to be) a biodegradable degreaser.  So it's not too hard to dispose of it right when you're done.  It will also try to detach your skin if you let it sink into your skin.  so put on the damn gloves.

Fill the jar carefully, about 3/4th up.  Drop your figure in.  Let it set overnight.  This particular setup won't destroy your models plastic bits.  The paint will bubble up in spots and loosen.  The glue will seperate very slightly from the metallic surfaces, but will usually retain a bond.  The longer you let it set, the easier it should be to get this stuff off.  When you are ready, pull the fig from the jar (Gloves, dammit!  Probably those safety glasses too.) and rinse it under warm water while scrubbing it with the toothbrush.  Oh, hey, plug your sink or use some Tupperware.  You really don't want to know what it costs to get replacement parts from most companies.  That paint should come right off.  Some of your parts will too.  A little bit may still cling here and there, and especially in tight recesses.  Pick some out with your knife if needed, but you may have to live with a little bit here and there.  Once this dries, you should be ready to start over.

Edit: Fuck, that wasn't condensed at all.

[Doom]

How feasible is the "Orks make everything out of garbage" rule? Is it actually capable to make all of your vehicles by hand, or will somebody notice, no matter how awesome it is, that your Killa Kan was originally a soup can and doesn't-count-buy-the-model-hurr-durr.

Or you know, do original gangstas frown on attempts to circumnavigate money-spendin'. Like, you buy the Ork figures but your looted tanks were originally card tins.

[MadMAxJr]

How feasible is the "Orks make everything out of garbage" rule? Is it actually capable to make all of your vehicles by hand, or will somebody notice, no matter how awesome it is, that your Killa Kan was originally a soup can and doesn't-count-buy-the-model-hurr-durr.

Or you know, do original gangstas frown on attempts to circumnavigate money-spendin'. Like, you buy the Ork figures but your looted tanks were originally card tins.

In 40k, some of the ork vehicle rules have no official model(last I checked.  I've been out for a while).  And as far as I can tell, most people in a friendly game won't object as long as you did something awesome with it.  Your soup can dreadnought  better not still have the label on it, and you better have painted something on it.  If you used cardboard for the legs and arms, it would be a little meh, but playable.  For orks, you have to make it convincing garbage-turned-killbot.  For wartrukks and stuff, there are offical models, and I personally had fun building cool mods on top of those models.  But again, in my experience, you will probably have to acquire some legitimate boyz/nobz/warboss, but feel free to experiment with your vehicular craftsmanship.  I've seen things like model car kits turned orky.  For easy modding fun, I would recommend getting 'sheet styrene' or a solid, thin quilting template (both of these are simply sheet plastic).  Cut it up into fun, spiky shapes, glue them onto a vehicle, and BAM.  Jagged metal bits.  For bonus points, get a blister of sequin pins, and glue some of the pins, head first to spots on the edges of the jagged bits.  Clip off most of the pin after the glue dries.  You now have an improvised rivet.