The last few weeks have been horrible.
As you know, a spic has been selected to discriminate the already overly-oppressed white males of this horrible country (
America, which by the way is a Spanish name). A few brave white men have stood up to this injustice (Rush Limbaugh; Coulter; Glenn Beck; Tommy Tancredo, the racist guinea who looks like an Aztec) and spewed their righteous fury at us spics, because we are shit and have contributed NOTHING to civilization, after all, we are not white like the Estonians. (Where would we be today without the Estonians?)
People talk about how Obama chose Sotomayor because of her skin (skin color isn't race but whatever) or because she's a person of color (but... everyone has a color or am I missing something? I'm bilingual, so does that make me a Person of Language?)... (not to mention when it comes to actual skin color she's actually pretty light, but Americans are color blind; you see race, a social construct; but not skin color, a measurable quantity.)
Well, here comes the problem.
I'm a Puerto Rican spic, but I consider myself a descendant of Europeans, mostly because most of my ancestry is Spanish (personally, if Greeks and Italians are white, then I guess Portuguese and Spanish should be white too right?)
and I look like a fucking cracker. Ok, a cracker with brown eyes and dark hair, but I have PINK NIPPLES FOR GOD'S SAKE! PINK NIPPLES!
hairy pink nipples.Now this is a big problems because of two main reasons: white people and Latinoes.
White People: "HAHAHAHAH! No way you are white you fucking beaner. Go back to Mexico you brown mudperson and never compare yourself to us glorious Whites ever again or we'll nuke you, you know we invented nuclear weapons right? Hahahah, let's see you shield youself from the bomb (invented, like everything else of value, by whites) with a sombrero you crazy spanish."
Hispanic People: "Why are you ashamed of your heritage? I don't care if Latin America was populated with people of different races, we all fucked each other and now are all the same! You probably think that you're better than us! Go to the whites and see how they reject you! Besides, we need you to make our numbers bigger that way we get more representation and stuff. BUY GOYA!" (dances to salsa)
I don't feel like telling you about myself or the whole Latino thing because I know some of you are actually intelligent and know things about other cultures other than what you watch in movies or MTV. But the thing is that I'm both Hispanic and white.
Ok, I'm 1/16 black too and I have 1/16 British ancestry, but only an idiot think that' matters (wait, most Americans ARE idiots!!)
Now, my psychologist is a Newyorrican (a person born in New York of Puerto Rican parents or ancestry) and I'm afraid of telling her or my
identity crisis because she might think I'm ashamed of myself, an idiot or many other things. After all, she was raised in the States so her knowledge of Puerto Rico and it's history/culture is not that great.
I'm afraid she'll judge me. I'm ashamed of thinking of myself as a white Hispanic since this will cause ridicule from everyone and I just hide in the closet. I hate how people think the two demographic terms are exclusive to one another. Not to mention, most Hispanics who also consider themselves white are racist assholes who don't want to be in the same group as people they don't like (mestizos, blacks and indigenous people). I'm not one of those.
For some reason this causes me a lot of anger and stress. I know it's stupid but that's why I want to talk to my shrink about it. I'm just afraid. I want to see if you guys think it's stupid. (Then again you have not had the same life experience that a wise Latino man like myself has had). I hate hearing stuff about how I'm supposed to be one thing or the other. I get pissed! Seriously, I'M STUPID.
Then you have all these fucking idiots in the right saying Sotomayor hates white people because she's Latina and how the innocent National Council for "La Raza" (stupid name btw) is the Hispanic KKK (THEY WILL BURN A PINATA IN YOUR FRONT YARD!!!!), I could ignore the stupid, ignorant and racist shit but I don't want to, because this is what a lot of people actually think.
I also don't like how some lefties want me to embrace my heritage (which they have no clue what it is) in their terms. By heritage they mean Hispanic/Latino as a blanket term for everyone in Latin America and the undesirables of the Iberic Peninsula. They don't really care about my actual heritage (again, they don't even know it), they just want to make sure I stay in this demographic that they're courting for votes.
I don't think I will ever settle to just be "white" (not to mention I cant because whites are elitists who hate me) or "Hispanic", I'm both and you gringos better deal with it (don't make fun of me plz)
Also, stop saying Picasso is white, he's from Spain so that makes him one of us. Spicasso.
and as a bonus:
http://wiki.unmod.org/index.php?title=Spram%27s_Psychotic_BreakdownPS: My love for white women might have nothing to do with this, I just happen to like albino-looking girls. Maybe it's my desire to piss off the honkeys.