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[Lottel]

THIRD ANNIVERSARY OF IT!
HAPPY BRODAY!

[Brentai]

10:30 and I just now watched it.

Close call.

[Mongrel]

I watched it, then it came up on my playlist at random later.

IT IS ORDAINED.

[Büge]

[Esperath]

COMMENCE PATRIOTISM

[Büge]

COMMENCE PATRIOTISM

Well, it is Canada Day. How about some beer?

[Mongrel]

How about some beer?

Already in the bag, and I'm at work. Wheeeeeeeee.

Oh god, I ate all the chicken wings. I won't need my bicycle to roll home. 

[Esperath]

[Büge]

Apparently it's also called "Dominion Day."

[Healy]

From Bizarro Bronto:

Welcome to Canada Day 2013, everyone! With your help, this one will be even CANADIANIER then the one before it! I am going to get the ball rolling with some FUN AND INTERESTING facts about The Prime Ministers (or "Canadas Dad", as they like to be called).

On his first day of office, John A. Macdonald was given a telegram from the Then-Queen of England reading that "As Canada is part of the British Empire, it is expected to listen only to Imperial Decree". However, a misprint on the telegram caused it to read "Empirical Decree" and so, John, not being one to defer AWAY from any Queens, said up the Chamber of Undeniable Proof and refused to accept any statements that could not be verified, repeated and observed. This is why, to this day, our nations motto is "PROVE IT, DAMN YOU!"

Alexander MacKenzie was responsible for the creation of the Prairie Provinces by traveling Western Canada and personally removing every mountain by hand, one fist full of rocks at a time.

John A. Macdonald, having gone utterly mad from the rigors of his previous stint as Prime Minister moved back into the Parliament Building and refused to leave. The premiers, being rather polite just decided to let him. He wasn't doing any harm. When he refused to leave his office even to let the cleaning staff in however, they had had enough and they shrank a team of scientists to microscopic size to enter the deranged PMs brain and set right what went wrong. The procedure worked and John A Macdonald was sane once more, but Medical Science being what it was in the late 1800s, accidentally gave him a fatal stroke.

Sir John Abbot was made Prime Minister after being given the Canadian Matrix of Leadership from the dying MacDonald. He rejected it at first, saying "I can't accept it, I'm just a soldier" but he grew into the role and eventually succeded in driving back the armies of the fearsome Walrus Men of the North.

John Thompson was originally called Eric Thompson, but when he assumed the mantle of Prime Minister, he was possessed by the ghost of John A Macdonald, making his first decree that "All Prime Ministers Must Be John" and had his name changed. An Emergency Meeting of Parliamentary Exorcists was called and they banished the specter to The Great Hinterlands, where all Canadians go when they die.

Mackenzie Bowell was secretly two children in a trenchcoat, passing themselves off as a man. When the treachery was discovered, Canadians were so embarrassed that they decided that the last two years "Didn't count". News of this black mark in Canadian History would eventually reach Hollywood where it would become the basis for The Little Rascals.

Charles Tupper only discovered he was Prime Minister when a mailman delivered a letter from the Bowell Rascals (as they became known) saying "This job STINKS, You do it!". The Rascals picked his name out of a hat because "It sounded funny".

Wilfred Laurier was the first Prime Minister to start the ritual of having a newly elected PM kiss the mummified remains of John A Macdonald on the lips for one full minute. Originally he explained that this was to keep the Ghost of Macdonald placated, that he would not rise to threaten our Lands once again, but it was later revealed that he was just into that kind of thing. Nevertheless, it became a long-standing tradition that endures to this day and those who refuse to follow it often end their careers in one term.

Robert Borden was a Carnival attraction that got the office due to voters being so impressed by his skill with thrown knives.

Arthur Meighen completely evaporated in front of horrified spectators during a speech on Parliament Hill. A national holiday was called to force all Canadian citizens to hunt for him, but no trace was ever found. The only clue was that, at that same moment, "Arthur Meighen is on Altair-Four" appeared on every blackboard in the country.

William Lyon MacKenzie King was a small-time grifter who became PM after using his silver-tongued trickery to convince everyone he was the right man for the job, then, after landing office, he ran across the border with all the countries assets. The Canadian People decided not to be fooled by his tricks again.

Arthur Meighen suddenly reappeared on the same hill and continued reading his speech picking up from the same sentence he was reading when he vanished more then five years earlier. It was discovered that Ottawa was built on a fault line in the fabric of space and time leading to a place where time travels at a vastly slower rate. This has since become a popular tourist destination and popular hangout for local college students.

William Lyon MacKenzie King came back into the country saying "I'm sorry about what I did before, but I've changed! It'll all be different this time!" and the people of Canada, being of a rather trusting sort, welcomed him with open arms, even gave him back his old job. Four years later, he stole ALL THE MONEY IN THE COUNTRY and ran back across the border. It was his greatest caper yet, and it single-handedly caused the Great Depression.

R. B. Bennet was an explorer and adventurer of great renown who discovered a new, vast and unmapped area north of Maine. When he ran to the nearest Adventurers Bureau to report his discovery he learned that this vast plain was already known about, colonized and named. Bennet was shocked. Like all Explorers, certainly he had heard of Canada, but he assumed it was merely legend, like fabled Atlantis, or the Moon. He then decided that if he couldn't be Canadas discoverer, then BY GOD he would become its leader.

William Lyon MacKenzie King, up to his old tricks again, once again came across the border to become Prime Minister and make off like a bandit, but he was driven off by Bennets cunningly designed National Defense System, consisting mainly of children hiding in the undergrowth armed with fireworks and making "scary dinosaurs noises". The exact same tactics used over a century earlier to win the War of 1812.

Louis St. Laurent was an eccentric inventor responsible for the creation of over two hundred uses for the Chili Bean.

John Diefenbaker is largely considered to be either a shared hallucination, or a practical joke that went entirely too far. Nevertheless, when he was elected, so many people thought that the ghost of John MacDonald HAD INDEED returned form The Great Hinterlands to rule this country as he had in the past.

Lester B. Pearson was a great humanitarian who fought to give legal rights to Canadas burgeoning Wizard population. This would ultimately prove to be his downfall however, as he was soon after crushed to death by an over enthusiastic hug from a golem.

Pierre Trudeau suffered from moderate to severe coprolalia and as a result was known to use the most offensive slurs possible at all times. This helped his career quite a lot in the seventies as Canada was going through its awkward teenage phase and responded well to his declarations of calling postal workers "Mother ---kers". The man could hyphenate like few others dared imagine.

Joe Clark had poor self esteem and thought that being made Leader of an Entire Country would help boost it a bit. However, after landing his lofty position the Canadian Citizenry realized that they mistook him for Tennis Legend Joesph Clark who had died over two decades earlier at the age of 94. Clark was immediately removed form office and "That Angry French chap" was put right back in.

Pierre Trudeau realized he had accomplished all he had set out to do during his previous run as Prime Minister sat out his term by sitting at his desk and flicking crumpled up balls of paper into the waste basket. He unsuccessfully lobbied to have this entered as part of the Summer Olympic Games, but failed when it was revealed that "The Olympics already have QUITE ENOUGH sports you've nominated, Mr. Trudeau". Trudeau, true to his reputation, called every nation involved with the games a "Mother ---ker" and Canada boycotted the games. Nobody really noticed.

Like John Difenbaker before him, John Turner was a particularly cruel joke played on the Canadian citizenry that managed to spread the fear that The Ghost of MacDonald had once again risen to Plague the World of the Living. John Turner was later revealed to be the mascot for a popular brand of oven cleaner (Have gleaming Burners, with John Turners!) that an unexpectedly large number of Canadians voted for as a result of a write-in ballet.

Brian Mulrooney was a homunculus who was able to run for and became Prime Minister as a result of some of the Pro-Wizard laws that Lester Pearson enacted. He was eventually chased to the town windmill after some of the locals witnessed his drowning of a small child which his half-formed criminal brain did not realize was an act of murder. His wails of "Fire BAD!" eventually found their way on the Mulrooney-stamped Thirty Five Cent Piece, which were quickly pulled from circulation.

Kim Campbell was MI6s top, secret agent, placed high in the ranks of Canadian Government to see if the Canadians were planning to revolt against the British Government as those Tricky Yanks did a few years back. Unfortunately, the British Secret Service did a little too good of a job of placing her in a high ranking position and she found herself as the actual Prime Minister, where she decided to veto a law for Waging a Revolutionary War. While her mission was a success, her cover was then blown and she was forced to fight, tooth and nail against the entire assembly of Canadian Premiers, most of whom were chosen for their matchless skill in armed and unarmed combat.

Jean Cretian was a French spirit medium who managed to harness the awesome political powers of John A MacDonald for himself, but whose own willpower was enough not to let him corrupted by his evil spirit. The constant internal warfare between Kind Humanitarian Jean and Diabolical Spirit, John often manifested itself outwardly as a twisted grimace of concentration and a seemingly nonsensical stream of spells and wishes chanted to keep the Evil of John Macdonald in check.

Paul Martin was tragically standing too close to Jean Cretian during a particularly vicious battle against the Evil Within and was struck by a bolt of mystic energy. This gave him John A. Macdonalds legendary superhuman strength, but also caused him to gradually turn into a tree.

Stephen Harper was created as a result of a clandestine experiement to create the Ultimate Prime Minister, combining genetic materials from all (existing) Prime Ministers, bound together into an indestructible steel-bonded suit.

THAT IS ALL OF THE CANADADS! I HOPE YOU ARE SMARTER NOW!

[Mongrel]

[Büge]

Happy Independence Day to our poor southern cousins.

[R^2]

I was asked to bake from-scratch apple pie for the kids at work for Independence Day.

"American as apple pie", right? Except like most of our cuisine, it's imported. Apple pie is French.

I'm assuming it was a nod to the fact that we'd still be British colonies if it weren't for the French declaring war on England and giving us their support in 1778.

Thanks, France! We owe you for our freedom and our pastry.

[Mongrel]

Happy Independence Day to our poor southern cousins.

Does this make them our dependents?

[Royal☭]

To celebrate the 4th, I've returned to the country to bring everyone their liberty back.

[Ted Belmont]

Pretty sure I just came THIS close to being hatecrimed in my own driveway.

Happy 4th of July!

[Mongrel]

Pretty sure I just came THIS close to being hatecrimed in my own driveway.

Happy 4th of July!

Whaaaa?? You're okay though, right?

Don't leave us hangin' like that dawg.

[A²]

Looking at #ff logs, someone threw a milkshake at him on the highway, he responded with the New York Hello, dude followed him home and called him a faggot.

As Ted Belmont is someone who enjoys the penises and butts of other men, he said he was correct, and offered intercorse.

The man took offense to this.

[Mongrel]

I may not be gay, but I've always been able to flame white hot if it annoys the right kind of asshole.

I also love insults you can reply to with a simple affirmation. "YOU HAVE HUGE GLASSES!" "Why yes! I do!" *shit-eating grin*

[Ted Belmont]

Yep, I'm fine. Pretty sure the person responsible lives in my neighborhood, though. Guess it's a good thing I'm moving this weekend!

Also, someone MAY have started to unzip their pants suggestively as the other party was driving away. Not saying it was me, but...