Today some asshole started honking his horn at someone who stopped at a red light, he kept inching violently forward in his gigantic (yet clean because he doesn't use it for work) pick-up truck. THen he rolled down his pitch-black window and made some hand gestures, not as bad as I espected. I stared at him and he looked around. Once he found out I was starring at him he laughed and made another hand gesture which I didn't really see but was aimed at me. What a fucking asshole I hope he dies. He is the type of person that gets things done, unlike me. If only I had his asshole tendencies I might not be such a loser.
I'm still obsessed over those two girls, mostly the newer one since the older one is married now, but I keep dreaming about them and how they reject me, at least 3 nights a week I have a "they reject me" dream.
And I'm very superficial, most women just look ugly to me, which sucks because I don't have what women like: Money, whiteness and a personality.
I tell my Phsychologyst/Social worker that I have high standards and I would like to learn to love ugly people like myself but she just thinks that every one has different tastes and that there has to be someone out there for me, but I'm an elitist douchebag. Horrendous women everywhere, sometimes I wish I was gay (not really)! Why am I such a douche? WHY? Also, I'm pretty gross too, why am I an hypocrite?
Sorry I'm ranting.