First off, an explanation. I have been trying to LP Xenogears. Sweet Deus, have I been trying. However, Murphy has been taking a real bat to my ability to record it. With the hardware I currently have, it seems to be an insurmountable hurdle to leap. So, in the interest of my sanity and to honor the challenge I issued to Brentai, I am continuing my LP in the format of a journal.
From the video which I posted, I stopped just short of Fei atomizing Lahan with Weltall. Subsequent attempts to record ended in failure force me to gloss over the events between then and where I am at now.
Unfortunately the game pretty much railroads you through 99% of the game, until you regain control at the crashed Shevat station at the end of the game. That being said, Lahan blew up, and I guided Fei in to the Blackmoon Forest between Aveh and the Lahan area. While attempting to record it, the visibility was incredibly poor, and I got lost in that fairly small initial area. I did manage to dodge the rock that nearly killed Brentai, however.
Fei meets Elly, and I smarted off for a few minutes about how she threatens to kill Fei, and then immediately asks for directions to get out of the forest. Fei starts wangsting Shinji-style. It's all stuff that funnier people than I have been talking about for years now.
Fei saves Elly from the forest dinosaur after charging stupidly at it with no weapons, then complains when Citan brings along Weltall for him to use. "I hate Gears and fighting", blah blah blah.
Elly wangsts about how she pissed in Fei's Cheerios when she herself had piss-soaked Cheerios for breakfast.
...ew, that's a horrible analogy. Suffice to say, Elly sucks just as much as Fei. At least Shion Uzuki had some self-confidence.
I came up with a drinking game: 1 shot any time someone ellipses, 2 shots any time Fei talks about hating Gears and Fighting.
So, now that all that shit's out of the way, I'm on the outside of the forest at the edge of the desert of Aveh. I wandered around for a bit, grinding up Citan to learn two of his deathblows, along with Fei to learn his second. I don't really know why. Convenience perhaps. I wandered in to Dazil, and learned, to my dismay, that they do not sell Omegasols in town. Criminal, really. So, I picked up a couple of status effect healing items, and went on to advance the plot at the Ethos workshop. Citan asks about the part that is needed to fix Weltall, and the technician tells him to go soak his head, which is kinda hard to do in a desert. Fei pulls Citan aside and suggests that Weltall doesn't need repair because he hates Gears and fighting. Citan, expecting this (BECAUSE HE EXPECTS EVERYTHING), counters with 'If that Gear stays where it is, then someone else will eventually find it, and both Aveh and Kislev will catch wind of it, causing another fight to break out near Lahan.' This puts Fei in his place, and he reluctantly agrees to help.
In town, Citan spots a dune buggy, and gets a flash of inspiration. He inquires about renting it, and explains his plan: to scavenge battle sites to hopefully find compatible parts. Simple, elegant, and easy to do with 500 years of war history. Citan decides to leave Fei where he can get in the least amount of trouble: the bar. The owner of the buggy drops a thinly-veiled plot point: there's pirates in them thar dunes!
"Holy penis!" shouts Fei, and does his second suicidal move: dashing out in to the wasteland with naught but a few Aquasols. What the hell are Aquasols, anyway? Medicine? Salve? A suppository? Right right, suicidal trek in to the desert.
The first sight to greet Fei are a pair of Gears hip-hopping along over the dunes, which is goofy-looking as hell. It was around this time that I encountered LAND SHARKS and TOTALLYNOTTUSKENRAIDERS. Seriously, these 'Dune Men' wear bizarre goggled masks, and carry staffs that look suspiciously like Gafferdi sticks.
After wandering in the desert for a while, Fei is covered in a large round shadow from what appears to be a floating air station surrounded by a force field. Fei finds another set of hopping Gears and chases after them. You know, I'm going to start a tally. Fei has all the survival instincts of a lemming, because he just jumped out in front of a motorcycle to get it to stop. Totalling up his dinosaur battling, running out in to the CONTINENT-SIZED DESERT, and now this, The Lemming Fei count is now up to 3.
So Fei steals the motorcycle, and popping a sweet wheelie, takes off to search for Citan. It is about this time that it gets dark outside, when Fei's blindsided by a freak localized sandstorm and blown off the bike. Suddenly, Fei is flanked by two of those hopping Gears from earlier. Just as they're about to turn Fei in to paste for making off with government property, they are blown off their feet by none other than Citan...in a newly-repaired Weltall! The other Gears get back up, and Citan insists that Fei pilot it. Now, shockingly, Fei only reluctantly agrees, without giving a "I HATE GEARS AND FIGHTING" speech. Oh, sweet Captain Morgan, we will be reunited soon...
Learning Fei's second deathblow has enabled the Triangle/Square deathblow in Gear combat, which features a Shoryuken. After quickly dispatching the enemy Gears, Fei is shocked at his own combat ability. There's another drinking game! Any time we see a cockpit interior shot in the game, we TAKE a shot! Bwahaha, my liver will be decimated!!
Fei's victory is cut short however, as he hears an ALL CAPS 'HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" Giggles because for that type of evil laugh, I picture Jabba the Hutt. Said evil laughter is actually coming from a dude standing on top of a giant robot, standing on top of a mesa with an orange moon in the background, positioned perfectly for the stereotypical "EVIL BAD GUY INTRODUCTION" scene.
Citan chimes in with a world-weary, "Here we go again..." and the Darth Vader-lookin' creep introduces himself as "Grahf...The seeker of power." He shifts gears awkwardly to "Bond Villain" and starts expositing about how the Gears landing in Lahan was all according to keikaku. HIS keikaku. He goes on to say that he needs Fei's latent homosexuality "power...to destroy...mother god..." Dude is Vader, Kirk, and Dr. No all rolled in to one. There's something screwy about that.
Fei throws the Bullshit Flag at Grahf, and Grahf retorts with "Ah, you sound just like your father..." Fei, the incredible dunce that he is, utters one of the best lines in the game: "My father? You mean my dad?" ...I should have to say no more about that line. Grahf insinuates that he killed Fei's father, and that gets Fei all hot and bothered...er, poor choice of words. Fei's not happy, let's say that. So Fei threw the Bullshit Flag at Grahf, and Grahf throws a...sand worm back at him. A final taunt, and Grahf and Gear flourish off in to the night sky.
This sand worm is pretty goddamn annoying. He counterattacks anything you do by draining your Fuel, and the only way to deal decent damage to him is to use Deathblows. Wait, I'm trying Guided Shot. Yep, still counters it, but it actually deals damage. I'm shocked. It's paltry damage, but I managed to kill the beast with it. Huh. You learn something new every day.
After the fight, the Gear breaks down, due to Citan having jerry-rigged the repairs. Their victory is short-lived, as more hoppy-bots come to arrest them. Citan says not to worry, but Fei's pretty much lost in thought, ellipsing all over the damn place. Glug glug glug...
Asleep on a transport ship, Fei has a bad dream with Darth Kirk, his father, and some red-haired nancyboy. He wakes up, and tells Citan that the stuff that Grahf said's got him worried.
That's it for now! Thanks for reading!
tl;dr: Suppository Aquasols, Fei's a lemming, all according to keikaku, and captured by Aveh.
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Topic: Race to the Finish! Xenogears BATTLE FANTASTICA (Read 8013 times)