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[Brentai]

PAGE ONE

[Transportation]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcIHFZvBmes

[Niku]

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

[Frocto]

The Shaqwolf hungers!

You scramble away in the opposite direction, keeping your head low and out of sight. Eager to dunk your flesh down his carnivorous throat, this will most definitely be yet another unassisted play for "The Diesel". Ray gun forgotten, you move from rock to rock, keeping out of sight. Having lost sight of you, the Shaqwolf pauses in the middle of the rocky desert and sniffs the air, before raising his right hand up. A glowing orange basketball materializes in his hands before he presses it to his chest and sends it rocketing outwards in a pass and the stone edifice to your right explodes into a powdery mess as the B-ball goes flying through it. You press on.

Ten minutes later, you have fully circled around behind the Shaq Attacker and stare intently towards the direction he came from until your scanning eyes glint off the chromed hood of the wondrous Shaqmobile. Deciding dignity loses the war against survival this day, you race for it even as a second B-Ball goes whizzing past your head, and leap for the driver's seat. But this Ford Explorer is more like a Ford Astronaut!!!!! Looking to where the steering wheel, cup holder and radio should be, you see instead bank upon bank of glowing lights, confusing arrays and space age technology! Steeling your confusion, you focus on escape

To press the green button, turn to page green.
To press the red button, turn to page red.
To press the yellow buttons, turn to page yellow.
To press the blue button, turn to page blue.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page 4.

What's that? Stupid, misleading choices in a Choose Your Own Adventure, most of which result in death? Noooo, there must be some mistake!

[Brentai]

I turn to page 5.

Suck on that.

[Classic]

Blue seems like an OK button for ignition. Maybe?

[Transportation]

Press the red button or we're going to lose on the second to last page.

[Frocto]

I will check this tomorrow to see if any of the options have two or more votes and if they don't, I will go with brentai's path!

[Guild]

4

Let's f***ing do this s**t.

[Guild]

ITS HAPPENING DEAL

[Frocto]

I don't know why I thought going with Brentai's suggestion was a good idea. I have regained my common sense.

Not posting until an option has two votes. Somehow we have four votes, all on a different option. For fuck's sake this isn't Werewolf, people.

[Transportation]

Fine, I'll compromise my intellectual integrity just for you!

Press the blue button or we're going to lose on the second to last page.

[Frocto]

The Shaqwolf lingers!

When you first raced towards the car as fast as your wimpy human legs could take you, he took you at a steady, loping pace, but seeing you enter it has spurred him on! He comes at you at a terrifying, cheetah-like pace, monstrously fast and monstrously hungry! A musclebound leap propels the beast onto the windshield, cracking the glass inwards as he comes down feetfirst. Big hands raise up and smash down on it, and so the crack widens. It's fucking tense, okay! God, I was just reading this and it's like JESUS FROCTO WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY HE IS GETTING UP IN THEIR SHIT why do you need to get technical with the words, it's not like you are getting paid by the word or anything FUCK.

So I don't need to say that he digs his nails into the windscreen and makes it come squealing away like cheese, fuck that, it is enough to say that you are totally fucked unless you PRESS THE BLUE BUTTON! Especially since he just got through it and is reaching for your scrawny neck!

A terrific ringing sound goes as every every gear in the tragically uncool Ford Explorer grinds together, bursting out car in every direction like shrapnel. The Shaqwolf is thrown loose, sent spinning end over end till he rolls to a stop in the dirt, looking up in obvious disapproval, as you activate the futuristic vehicle's SHIT GETS REAL mode. As it smashes and mashes around you, you see new control panels are coming out and slamming into place. The hood, front tires and bumper break apart, forming into typical chunky arms from which HUGE FUCKING CANNONS NOT HANDS BECAUSE HANDS ARE FOR FAGS extend from and the entire thing falls back on its rear wheels, which do the same thing, except bringing the wheels up to form a hip system from which the suit feeds through eight metal articulated prongs, four of which form a base and the other four of which whip seemingly independantly around it like an automated defence system.

The chest compartment shifts slightly, rotating to give you a better field of vision over the dust and a targeting array descends from the ceiling to rest in front of your eyes. You sight ahead and... The Shaqwolf is no longer there. A thud atop the armoured suit sounds his arrival with a crash and then you hear an awful creaking sound. The suit totters around under your command, trying to shake him off, but you're momentarily distracted by a scanner informing you there are two lifesigns a few kilometres to the east that bear investigating. The creaking sound cuts short suddenly and there's the sound of tearing metal as something comes off your left side and the entire robot destabilizes. You finally find the button to shoot the cannons and there's a terrific discharge of laser energy that flings the Shaqwolf clean off, smashing him to the ground. It topples you as well, and you both land on your asses.

He is clutching the entire left half of the Ford Explorer armoured suit easily, cannon and all, and lowers it to point at you. Your own cannon raises to fire.

TO ENGAGE IN LASER DUEL, TURN TO PAGE 999.
To go hand to hand, turn to 1,000.
To investigate the life signs further, turn to page 6.
To take cover and escape, turn to page 9.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page 4.

[Niku]

hand cannon to hand cannon fight?  YES 1000

[Transportation]

1000 because our hands are already cannons.

[Nemo2342]

Laser duels are the only way for gentlemen to settle things.

[Guild]

4

Let's f***ing do this s**t.

Why hasn't this f***ing s**t been done yet?

[Frocto]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZqazbULRRA

The Ford Exploder rights itself, displays jostling for attention, all screaming at you the clear and present danger in operating while missing what amounts to about a third of your total structure. A display slides down before your eyes, telling you to eject because you're in really terrible, serious danger, but a few stiff blows from your clenched fist make it stop blaring in your face so badly. You find the throttle and gun it, leaving a trail of hardware and computer parts trailing behind you. A motherboard, a monitor and the minibar all get dragged along behind the mech on their cables, blowing in the wind like a boozy, malfunctioning cape.

The Shaqwolf, meanwhile, stands his ground steadfastly, legs spread as wide as humanly possible, hunched over forward slightly, eyes glowing with malevolence. He is not to be outdone and jams his arm into the tangled, ripped-up mess that is the robot's left arm, holding it with astonishing strength and pointing it straight at your robot like an oversized demented cyborg arm. The Shaqwolf... bolsters.

The first shot is squeezed off in a scorching, zorching laser blast as thick as a mighty redwood trunk, which you attempt to leap over, an action resulting in your robot getting the bottom half of its body turned to dust and ash, which blows away on fickle winds. The upper body sails the rest of the way, a drawn-back arm swinging forwards to smash into the wicked Werewolf's face, smashing his nose up into his skull and sending him stumbling backwards as your robot comes crashing down in the dirt, immobilized. The minibar, resolute as ever, swings around on its power cable and smashes into the back of the rapper's bald head, slamming him face first into the dirt. The door swings open, sending drinks flying through the smashed windscreen.

You catch a bottle of tequila and chug the whole thing, 'cause you just whipped his Buttville. A moment later, there is a small explosion and the Ford Exploder powers down with a hum.

To inspect the corpse, turn to page 4 and a half.
To try to turn back into a car, turn to page 49.
To hike to where the display said the two life signs were, turn to page 0.99.5.
To attempt to repair the Exploder, turn to page AMERICA.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page faw.

[Niku]

49

if we inspect the corpse it will rise and destroy us due to our close proximity

this way we will be facing away from it when it returns from the dead ominously in the background of the shot

[Frocto]

I asked for this to be moved here since Active Game is a pus-filled sore.