Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Frocto]

The year: 4,209. The man: Arthur Crom, a Galaxy Marshall of the Galaxy Marshalls, a man of the far-flung future. Nobly and gloriously, mankind has expanded all over the galaxies known and unknown, much like an inflatable raft pumped with the mightiest lungs of all: The Galaxy Marshalls!

To expand on this metaphor, Ninja Master X, Master of the Ninja Masters of Asteroid X, is the thumb tack that pricks the Galaxy Federation and threatens to ruin it all! Every day his ninja fleets, vaster than even the house you grew up up in, blot out the stars and suns of peaceful space, and bring us closer to destruction. Thankfully, the Galaxy Marshalls stand between civilized man and the Ninja Masters, as they always have.

You find yourself today at Galaxy Marshall Headquarters, attending a meeting arranged by Marshall Prime, Henry Von Powerful, the man upon whose shoulders rests the future of all mankind! He speaks freely of a better world, a galaxy unplagued by ninjas, where all men are at peace with one another and as his booming voice travels across the auditorium, you and your fellow Marshalls reflect on the bright and sunny future ahead of you.

"Fellow Galaxy Marshalls of the Galaxy Marshalls, I have called you here today to speak on the matter of Ninja Master X and his nefarious Ninja Fighters that threaten us every day, daring to even wipe out mankind! As we all know, ninjas were once human, but now they are mutated beyond recognition, into monsters evil enough to scare the bones out of you! But that is to come to an end today because we now have the upper hand!"

Your eyes are drawn to a podium beside him under a mysterious white sheet, which mocks you with its mystery. But not for much longer, as Marshall Prime Henry  unfurls the secrets within, revealing upon the platter a device cunningly disguise as a stick of dynamite! "It looks like a stick of dynamite, does it not?" asks Henry as he holds it to the light for you to see. "Yet it is not! This is Compound Y, composed a chemical element so vast and comprehensive that it is only known as Ium, as it is all chemicals and yet none at the same time! When exposed to green light, Compound Y affects an area as large as an entire Ninja Fighter, pulling space in on itself and shrinking the fighter to the size of a pea! But that is a very large dose such as this one, of course."

Satisfied with the stunned silence of the audience, Henry places the Compound Y back on the podium. "This is a new weapon that will render the Ninja Masters useless! And the only people who know of its existence are the Galaxy Marshalls. Its existence must never leave this room..."

Suddenly, a junior Marshall ran to his side. Marshall Prime Henry seems annoyed to have his speech interrupted, but his expression grows dark when he listens to what the many has to say. Then he coughs and turns back to the room at large.

"Gentlemen. Someone in this room is a SPY."

To confess you are the Ninja Master Spy, turn to page 219.
To act upon your secret Ninja Master orders and steal Compound Y, turn to page 2.
To sit quietly in your chair, turn to page 9999.
To draw your raygun and shoot anyone who makes any sudden moves, turn to page 84.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page 4.

[Burrito Al Pastor]

I always left my thumb in the place of the page I was at and then looked at the other options before choosing one of them.

[Niku]

* Niku flips to 219.  Ninja Master Spies are so cool!  We'll get to go on an adventure, obviously!  As a Ninja Master Spy!

[Doom]

I always left my thumb in the place of the page I was at and then looked at the other options before choosing one of them.

These are the words of a man who is afraid to embrace life.

Page 219 please.

[Brentai]

4

[Frocto]

The year: 4,209. The man: Arthur Crom, a Ninja Master Spy of the Ninja Masters, a man of the far-flung future. You have ventured to Galaxy Marshall Headquarters and infiltrated the highest of the high orders of their command, with the intent of stealing the precious Compound Y, and now it is within your grasp! Little do these uniformed buffoons realize that Compound Y is too dangerous a weapon for this galaxy, perhaps even the entire universe, and it permeates a threat that places everyone in grave danger! Now that your clever ruse has been uncovered, it is time to act, Ninja Master Arthur Crom.

"Seal all the doors! Do not let anyone leave! That spy will pay for messing with us tough guys!" orders Galaxy Marshall Prime, gesturing wildly. You stealthily move down the rows of seats, ready to make a move that will rock the galaxy.

To assassinate Henry Von Powerful and end his terrible reign, turn to page 47.
To swipe Compound Y from right under their stupid noses, turn to page 0.
To throw yourself upon the mercy of the Galaxy Marshalls, turn to page 99999.
To warp in a Galaxy Class Ninja Fighter, turn to page Q.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page 4.

[Doom]

47! Henry Von Powerful ruined my life and now he'll pay!

[Brentai]

4

[Niku]

* Niku divides by page 0.

[Guild]

4

Let's f***ing do this s**t.

[Frocto]

The plan is set for the greatest assassination of the millenium. Just like the badass you truly are, you cast aside your orders. As the Marshalls run to and fro locking the doors, you move quickly up onto the stage and creep behind Marshall Prime Henry, flicking out your trust butterfly knife. You lunge for him, blade flashing, but the Marshall Prime is faster than you anticipated, faster even than the rate at which Choose Your Own Adventure books fly off the shelves! In one fluid motion, with honed reflexes, he turns and grabs your wrist with a punishing force.

"GYAHAHAHA! FOOLISH SPY! Compound Y will bring out a new change and your weaklings will be crushed beneath its wheels!"

You are led away by uniformed soldiers to the Raptor Pens, where the Riding Raptors of the Galaxy Marshalls are kept. If only you'd listened to your mother and become a Galaxy Marshall. You could be riding one of these beautiful steeds into glory. But as you're thrown into the pens and they circle around you, all you see yourself riding into is a toothy...

END

Take 2

In the confusion, you stealthily make your way up to the stage. Henry commands his men with the fury of a powerful leader, yet his fury of observational skill is not so great and you reach out for Compound Y in the moment when things seem best suited to your purposes. What a wild adventure!

And then success! Your fingers close around the stick of Compoundy Goodness and you pull it back to your chest. Or you WOULD, if only Galaxy Marshall Prime Henry Von Powerful had not turned upon you like a bull-eyed cement mixer, knocking you to the ground with a single ham-fisted blow! WH-BAM! The air leaves your lungs as you are propelled back into one of the room's marble pillars with a spine-jarring impact. Oof! The Compound tumbles from your hands and hits the ground with a clatter.

"Ah, a nimble-fingered spy in Galaxy Marshall HQ! Well, I do need a new woman in my life! GUARDS! Set your lasers to "Gender swap." Hahahaha!" he roars evilly as you scrabble on your hands and knees for the Compound you so foolishly dropped.

To screw the Compound and get out of there RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW THEY'RE CLOSING THE DOORS YOU IDIOT, turn to page 27.
To beg for mercy, turn to page You Will Die If You Turn To This Page.
To request back-up from the Ninja Masters, turn to page i don't know a zillion
To test your highly experimental teleporter, turn to a random page.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page 4.

[Frocto]

I was writing my reply WHILE Guild posted that. Better luck next time, Guild!

[LaserBeing]

4

Let's f***ing do this s**t.

[Brentai]

4

[Frocto]

You snatch the Compound Y from the floor. "No, you fool! No!" Gender Swap rays go whizzing past you at fantastic speeds!

But too late! You press the button on the side of it!



SHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHOOOOOM BLBLBLBLBLSHEEEEEEEEEESH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

WUZAAAAAAAAAAAH MMMMMMMAMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWODOMSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


TOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBIBBIBIWASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

hssssssssssssssssssss

You awaken sometime later to feel the sun beating down on you. You are in an endless red expanse that stretches out in every direction, huge boulders surrounding you, the ground rising up in endless, undulating waves like a desert, but all red, all the time. It's like the surface of an alien planet! But you know better than that. You must have been shrunk! The Compound Y is large enough to shrink a 10 kilometre long Ninja Fighter to the size of a pea, so you can only wonder how small you must be now! But there must be a way to reverse the process, surely? You'd better not be stuck like this forever!

You sit up and and feel your hip nudge something that rolls away from you. Wait... Your eyes focus on it. No... It can't be. It can't be!

It is an undisturbed, unused stick... of Compound Y. As your mind reels in confusion, you suddenly feel a chill wind wash around you and pull your Galaxy Marshall uniform tighter around yourself. A sound is carried on the wind. The howling of wolves. A kilometre towards the horizon, you can see feral shapes approaching. What will do you next?!

To climb one of the boulders, turn to page 36.
To look for a weapon to defend yourself with, turn to page 491.
To try to return to your original size, if you ARE shrunk, turn to page 326.
To head towards the wolves, turn to page 1.999999.
To head the other way, turn to page 1.99999.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to pag... Stay on this page.

[LaserBeing]

491.

This volatile stick of Compound Y should make a serviceable cudgel!

[Brentai]

36

(Spoiler: You'll explode.)

[Classic]

As much as brentai is an ultimate super-genius, I'm going to go with something sensible.

491.

[Frocto]

Panic! Distress! A thousand sharp-toothed mouths of doubt, gnawing at your skull! You plod sluggishly about, using your last few seconds of relative safety to lay hands upon every man's want, every man's god-given right: a killing device! Thankfully, a short distance from where you are, you see the charred, smouldering corpse of a Galaxy Marshall lying in the dirt and beside him... His ray gun!

Commando-rolling to the ground Lester Chaykin Knight-style, you right yourself with the pistolero in your sweaty hand, but an attempt to pull the trigger makes only a hollow clacking sound. The crystalline power source has been completely fried, shattered into a dozen pieces, which even now are lying in the dirt. You scoop them up, just in case the weapon can be repaired, and stuff your pockets full with crystal shards. Even you can realize there was some sort of strong electrical discharge moments ago, which adds to the mystery of your predicament. Confusion soars through your head like an out-of-control Eagleman of Minmoth 3!

But there is no time for that, is there? A wolf-beast approaches, but you recoil in horror upon the sight of him: He is not a wolf-beast, but wolf-man, a malformed beast with slavering jaws, opposable thumbs and patches of thick fur and, to make matters worse, the spitting image of Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal, No. 33 in the Cleveland Cavaliers, formerly of the LA Lakers! His once pleasant bass tones rise in a guttural, growling wolf tongue as he roars his challenge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPKTLLb80Ns

I got a hand that’ll rock ya cradle,
Cream you like cheese, spread you on my bagel.
My Ford Explorer boomin’ with the clunk-a-funk
All you jealous punks can’t stop my dunks.
They’re brand new like Heavy,
Built like Chevy, Impala,
But Shaq’s a smooth balla.
(Yeah, but what about rhymin?)
I can hold my own.
Knick-knack Shaq-attack, give a dog a bone.

Pistol in hand, you prepare yourself for a liberal dose of Shaq Fu.

To fight the Shaqwolf, turn to page 143.
To look around for any surviving Galaxy Marshalls, turn to page 12.
To steal the Shaqwolf's Ford Explorer, turn to page 1.
To detonate Compound Y, turn to page 4.

[Doom]

PAGE ONE