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[Royal☭]

Yeah. I think Wolverine is sitting in a bar and on the screen is a debate between some guy and Dr. Henry McCoy.

[Büge]

Yeah. I think Wolverine is sitting in a bar and on the screen is a debate between Sebastian Shaw and Dr. Henry McCoy.

No joke.

[Romosome]

Yeah. I think Wolverine is sitting in a bar and on the screen is a debate between Sebastian Shaw and Dr. Henry McCoy.

No joke.

WHOOPS

I really liked this. It was an odd mishmash of 2000-era and 1960s era X-Men and I agree it was bogged down a little by continuity, whether you want to split hairs about that being the fault of Movies or Comics.

My overall impression was that it was goofy in parts, but the awesome made up for it. Someone who doesn't know dick about X-Men probably would find it stupid, but who cares about them, right?

I don't mind comics movies being a bit cheesy because I'm used to comics being cheesy already. The effects were believable, the acting was good except maybe the very last part on the beach, and Kevin Bacon was having a blast the entire time.

Oh, right. The worst part of the entire movie is us being asked to believe that [spoiler]any man anywhere would consider Mystique's naked blue mutant form "not beautiful". Especially a huge nerd.[/spoiler] I mean, holy shit, I almost got angry. I realize what purpose it served in the plot and it fit into things well but it just made [spoiler]McCoy[/spoiler] seem even more retarded to the point of incredulity.

But yeah that was minor and I had a lot of fun.

[Joxam]

[spoiler]I don't find Mystique hot and I thought the exact opposite of what you're saying, actually. The idea that anyone would find a blue chick with scales at all hot was so obnoxiously ludicrous to me that I thought it was probably the biggest stretch in the whole movie. I thought Hank was just being reasonable, especially because the girl he fell in love with was the blond bombshell, not the blue girl with scales and ugly finger/toe nails. I mean sure, taken on its face it does seem like a bit of a dick move for him to be mean to her about it, but the movie makes it pretty apparent that even she is completely uncomfortable with herself up to the point that Erik starts telling her she shouldn't be.[spoiler]

[Mongrel]

Wasn't [spoiler]Mystique sold as a Femme Fatale[/spoiler] for years and and years?

[Lottel]

[spoiler]I don't find Mystique hot and I thought the exact opposite of what you're saying, actually. The idea that anyone would find a blue chick with scales at all hot was so obnoxiously ludicrous to me that I thought it was probably the biggest stretch in the whole movie. I thought Hank was just being reasonable, especially because the girl he fell in love with was the blond bombshell, not the blue girl with scales and ugly finger/toe nails. I mean sure, taken on its face it does seem like a bit of a dick move for him to be mean to her about it, but the movie makes it pretty apparent that even she is completely uncomfortable with herself up to the point that Erik starts telling her she shouldn't be.[/spoiler]

I completely agree with Joxam. Hell, even my friends think [spoiler]Mystique is hot. I on the other hand can only focus on bony scales jutting out of her body. I can easily see why Hank chose the pretty form he fell for instead of the gross looking one she hid and hated.[/spoiler]




EDIT: GOT IT [spoiler]spoilers[/spoiler] right this time, Joxam! HA!

[Friday]

THIS IS NOW A QUESTION FOR SCIENCE

[Romosome]

I'm really excited about this movie and I think we should have a spoilerfree threadsplit to talk about it

[Brentai]

Green Lantern's review scores are a little artificially deflated, I think.  There's nothing really wrong with it other than dangerous levels of Ryan Reynolds.  It's just that it's a superhero movie trailing at the end of a long line of superhero movies.  Hero is introduced, establishes he's sort of a schmuck, gets superpowers, gets exposition, fucks off.  Villain gets superpowers, is a dick in public, hero stops him.  Media coverage, hero gets girl, hero screws the fuck up, girl pep talks hero, hero saves day.  Credits, sequel hook, more credits.  Lather, rinse and fucking repeat.

The thing about Green Lantern is that he's a pretty strained concept for a superhero from a dramatic standpoint to start with.  Hey wouldn't it be great if Superman wasn't just invulnerable and infinitely strong but could also conjure anything he wanted out of thin air at any time?  The movie tries to inject a little weakness with some bullshit about blah blah blah fear but when Reynolds is supposed to be freaking out the best he can muster is looking slightly less douchey for a few moments.  I have to admit the writing's a little weak at other times too, like the bit where it's revealed that the ring just gave Hal instant knowledge of everything in the universe ever and then two sentences later he's asking poor Mr. Fishhead Exposition Guy to re-explain everything that was established in the opening narration.  Overall it's just a big dumb familiar waste of time that looks pretty good up on the big 3D screen.  There are much better things you can be doing with two hours but if you're going to waste them on something, you can easily get through this one without wanting to hack off one of your limbs to get away.

[teg]

Kung Fu Panda 2: 83%

Cars 2: 34%


We're through the looking glass here, people.

[TA]

Apparently Green Lantern had like half the movie chopped out and replaced with a bunch of shit and a director's cut of it could turn out to be really excellent?  This is what I heard, anyway.

[Büge]

I heard that Parallax looks like poop.

[Büge]

Like, from a butt.

[Romosome]

The summary I read was that they give him the ring because he is without fear and then he spends the entire fucking movie being afraid of things, being a douchebag without any prior sympathetic setup, and basically nothing in the plot leads logically into anything else.

I hope Reynolds still gets to do Deadpool. It doesn't sound like this was his fault.

[Thad]

The thing about Green Lantern is that he's a pretty strained concept for a superhero from a dramatic standpoint to start with.  Hey wouldn't it be great if Superman wasn't just invulnerable and infinitely strong but could also conjure anything he wanted out of thin air at any time?

I used to buy the "Superman is hard to write" angle but I don't anymore.  There are a million great goddamn stories you can tell about Superman; everyone who writes a "Lex is about to beat Superman with Kryptonite but then Superman powers through it" story is a lazy dumbass.

So with Green Lantern.  Space cops who can conjure literally anything out of thin air through sheer force of will?  The possibilities are endless.

I think (and again, this is Thad Talking Out of His Ass Because He Hasn't Seen the Movie Yet, though now that I've seen X-Men I can confirm that the last time I did that I was 100% right) the problem is the formula you describe: we've seen enough goddamn identical origin story movies.

The other problem is that Green Lantern only has one good villain, and he's not the villain in this movie.

(EDIT: Wait, two good villains -- the Manhunters are pretty neat.  And also not the villains in this movie.)

...haven't seen Emerald Knights yet either, but I'm going to bet that it makes telling good GL stories look easy.  Ditto the series coming in the fall.  Granted, they've both got Timm's name on them and GL (like most superheroes) is better suited for an episodic format than a feature film, but still and all, I don't think the problem is that it's hard to write a dramatic GL story, it's that most Hollywood writers are hacks.

I hope Reynolds still gets to do Deadpool. It doesn't sound like this was his fault.

Actually every review I've seen pretty much said Reynolds was the only good part of the movie.

[TA]

One thing I feel needs mentioning: this is not Martin Campbell’s cut of the film, but the studio’s. I live in New Orleans where it was shot, I read the shooting script, all of which was painstakingly filmed with intense research, and all of that was left on the cutting room floor — a sort of combination of what happened to Daredevil and Watchmen, respectively — character development sacrificed for CG, scenes made irrelevant by removing their setup. The movie in the theater starts with an explanation of mythos that is made redundant by the more natural, scripted questions from Hal when he gets the ring. Ten minutes of childhood Hal, Carol, and Hector that sets up Hal’s first ring construct is reduced to an awkwardly placed flashback in the middle of another scene. The training with the ring is almost completely excised except for one minor scene. [spoiler]Most appallingly, the ending completely deletes the fact that Kilowog, Sinestro, and Toma-Re arrive at the end and help Hal defeat Parallax. Not to mention Parallax was supposed to be a 3rd act reveal after we spend the film worried about Hammond going evil, not the main villain for the entire film. I sincerely hope we get a director’s cut or at least all the deleted scenes on the video release.[/spoiler]

[Thad]

...yeah, okay, if you want you can substitute "studios" for "writers" in my comment about hacks.

[Brentai]

The movie in the theater starts with an explanation of mythos that is made redundant by the more natural, scripted questions from Hal when he gets the ring.

it's revealed that the ring just gave Hal instant knowledge of everything in the universe ever and then two sentences later he's asking poor Mr. Fishhead Exposition Guy to re-explain everything that was established in the opening narration.

I'd have cut the Fishhead Exposition and gone with the intro because GOD DAMN WE JUST GOT DONE SAYING HE HAS WIKIPEDIA WIRED TO HIS BRAIN.

The training with the ring is almost completely excised except for one minor scene.

[spoiler]It's not really that minor.[/spoiler]

And finally:

The other problem is that Green Lantern only has one good villain, and he's not the villain in this movie.

I'm assuming you mean old Purple-Headed Warrior and he might as well be because Sinestro is all the fuck over the place.  You see who he is, what his motivations are, and how he becomes the guy we know he is all to a much greater depth than we do Hal (whose motivations for actually taking up the mantle never even really get explored - we can mostly assume it's because you get a fucking god ring holy christ).  When I heard about things left on the cutting room floor I assumed it was the entire second half of the movie in which Sinestro's obvious Senator Palpatine plan to forge the One Ring comes to fruition and Hal has to figure out that he was behind the whole Fear-Octopus thing and then have a big green/yellow cockfight ending with Sinestro slicing himself in half with a yellow glider or something.  It makes perfect sense that the movie was originally about the length of The Dark Knight and then someone noticed that that amounts to two feature-length summer blockbusters and ordered it sliced right before the sequel-hookable scene where he puts on the Yellow Ring and orgasms.

But no, he was meant to be a lead-in all along, making this the first movie I've seen where the entire thing was a hook for the next one.  Ah well, at least we're running out of mainstream heroes to do this to.  Right?  Right?

[Thad]

the first movie I've seen where the entire thing was a hook for the next one.

Thor, Incredible Hulk, and Iron Man 2 were pretty good.

Ah well, at least we're running out of mainstream heroes to do this to.  Right?  Right?

I'm pretty sure we ran out of ones who had mainstream public recognition about five years ago.  Wonder Woman notwithstanding.

[Disposable Ninja]

The Flash and Aquaman