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Author Topic: meetup  (Read 7676 times)

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Pacobird

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« on: August 18, 2009, 12:02:35 PM »

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Büge

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« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2009, 12:05:22 PM »

DO YOU JUST CONSTANTLY LAMENT ABOUT EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE

GOD DAMN

YES I DO GODDAMMIT

ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS ARE DEAD

Says the man with the fulfilling relationship, enviable artistic skill and enough Magic cards to build a two-family yurt.
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Mongrel

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« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2009, 12:14:30 PM »

The fulfilling relationship I'll give you, though there were things I've had to sacrifice for that I won't talk about here. Suffice it to say that while I don't regret my choices and I made them with a full understanding of the consequences, I've lost some very important things that I'll not likely recover.

The art is pretty fucking dead. After a decade of working in total isolation, I can't sustain enough energy to put pencil to paper anymore.

But... My god, the day MTG cards become a dream and not just an amusing diversion, Suicide will be mandatory.
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Pacobird

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« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2009, 12:19:44 PM »

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Brentai

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« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2009, 12:28:41 PM »

http://www.meetup.com

I suggest everybody visit this site.

It really puts into perspective how overrated having a life is.
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Pacobird

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« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2009, 12:40:14 PM »

Yes because everybody who joins co-ed kickball leagues does it because they just love kickball.
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Mongrel

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« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2009, 12:42:14 PM »

MORE INTERNET IS NOT THE SOLUTION TO TOO MUCH INTERNET AND NOT ENOUGH REAL PEOPLE.

Yes I know that's not really the point of the site, but I saw you the first time.

Actually, I've done stuff like this plenty of times, metting up with "specific interest"-based groups IRL that I met online. Games, motorbikes, mopeds, lots of things. They're often nice enough, but I never really connect with folks like that. I'm the kind of guy that is friendly with most folks, but only has a very small number of very good friends that I have cultivated carefully. All my true strong relationships happen like that. I'm the kind of guy that spnds a lot of time finding those few really trustworthy and golden friendships so that I can shoot the shit easily with people.

I need to talk to people a lot. I enjoy the sound of my own voice talking to people. Part of the problem is that I get ideas, but they're all in a vacuum. I need to talk to people to bounce stuff off of them and work things out, artistically, career-wise, current events, whatever. I LOVE that stuff and for anything creative I do it's CRITICAL. But I meet people slowly, so the supply never meets the demand.

Most of my longterm friends have very literally ruined their lives in the years since I met them, so while I have not abandoned them, I can't burden them with my nattering bullshit. Plus some of them have developed oddball view points or else they have withdrawn entirely into shells so conversation is now strained. Koipond is the last guy left that I can talk to about any of my projects and while he's fantastic to work with, I don't see him much and he's too busy for me to impose like that anyway. And quite frankly, once I realized that I was always the guy who called other people and not vice versa, I stopped imposing myself on others like that. People don't want me around, then damn right they shouldn't have to put up with some uninvited jackass.

As for career goals and things like that, well, the less said about those, the better. Let's just say I never had very high ones, but damned if I could even manage a bare minimum.

...

You know I know everyone here is sick of hear my occasional lapses into Soracross, the only reason I even post this garbage here is because I literally have nobody else to tell.  

I will now resume my normal existence as an ignorant meme-spouting prick.  
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Brentai

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« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2009, 12:46:18 PM »

Yes because everybody who joins co-ed kickball leagues does it because they just love kickball.

I think that just about sums up my point, yeah.

If you have to pretend to care in order to talk to people, chances are there's not much to talk to people about.

See also: why most dating advice people give can go make a comfortable nest in my ass.

Also what that pancake-eater said.
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Fortinbras

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« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2009, 02:17:02 PM »

I have a meetup account.  Every interest I have listed has 0 groups within 25 miles of me.
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Pacobird

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« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2009, 02:33:18 PM »

Yes because everybody who joins co-ed kickball leagues does it because they just love kickball.

I think that just about sums up my point, yeah.

If you have to pretend to care in order to talk to people, chances are there's not much to talk to people about.

See also: why most dating advice people give can go make a comfortable nest in my ass.

Also what that pancake-eater said.

It's almost like having a shared experience, no matter how trivial, is a great and healthy way to establish a point of departure for making new friends!   I would not have met any of you were it not for the fact that I like the vidja games.

At any rate, some people are perfectly happy closing themselves off from opportunities to make new friends and try new things.  I personally would not advocate this because the longer you do it, the harder it is to change once the inevitable day comes when you wake up and realize you've wasted your life, but it's not my job to change anybody.  But if you're like IM and feel upset and stagnant about it, for heaven's sake don't just sit around your house like you have no choice but to be a shut-in.
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Alex

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« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2009, 02:40:57 PM »

I'm a lot like Mongrel in my friendship making habits.  I'd greatly prefer having a close knit circle instead of the large social network of vague acquaintances.

Though I can safely assume that this was born out of my distrust of anyone not me.
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Mongrel

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« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2009, 02:59:19 PM »

Yes because everybody who joins co-ed kickball leagues does it because they just love kickball.

I think that just about sums up my point, yeah.

If you have to pretend to care in order to talk to people, chances are there's not much to talk to people about.

See also: why most dating advice people give can go make a comfortable nest in my ass.

Also what that pancake-eater said.

It's almost like having a shared experience, no matter how trivial, is a great and healthy way to establish a point of departure for making new friends!   I would not have met any of you were it not for the fact that I like the vidja games.

At any rate, some people are perfectly happy closing themselves off from opportunities to make new friends and try new things.  I personally would not advocate this because the longer you do it, the harder it is to change once the inevitable day comes when you wake up and realize you've wasted your life, but it's not my job to change anybody.  But if you're like IM and feel upset and stagnant about it, for heaven's sake don't just sit around your house like you have no choice but to be a shut-in.

Heh, if you think I never go out and try to do new stuff or meet new people, well... I can say you're mistaken anyway.
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Pacobird

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« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2009, 03:01:46 PM »

Quote
I need to talk at people a lot. I enjoy the sound of my own voice talking to people. Part of the problem is that I get ideas, but they're all in a vacuum because I don't actually pay attention to other people and accept they may know better than me, despite my repeated failures in multiple aspects of my life. I need to talk at people to bounce stuff off of them and work things out, artistically, career-wise, current events, whatever. I LOVE that stuff because I am a self-important clown and for anything creative I do it's CRITICAL because, like most solipsistic assholes, I lack the ability to actually listen to others and mistake that for a lack of input. But I meet people slowly, because people have better shit to do than listen to some jerk-off talk about himself for hours on end.

I can't imagine why this might be the case.
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Brentai

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« Reply #13 on: August 18, 2009, 03:29:47 PM »

It's almost like having a shared experience, no matter how trivial, is a great and healthy way to establish a point of departure for making new friends!   I would not have met any of you were it not for the fact that I like the vidja games.

Okay, but that example completely misses the point.  You like vidjagames.  By extension, you met a bunch of people you can genuinely get along with, or at least claim to despite the fact that you've done nothing but bitch about them for the last few days.

Throwing yourself into something you have no passion for hoping to find someone else who is also there for no reason other than some vague need to associate with people... I mean, do you really feel that friendships based on mutual dislike of something are the best kind?  Okay, so I know what kind of group you tend to hang out with, but still...
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Royal☭

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« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2009, 03:33:41 PM »

While I may not be passionate about kickball, I think I could meet and enjoy the company of other people who wanted to play kickball as well.

Pacobird

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« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2009, 03:41:04 PM »

People do this because they like to meet other people.  A not-very-demanding sport that requires minimal concentration is a great way to get random people together.  That this seems to escape you and yet you have, in the past, lamented your loneliness and isolation absolutely fascinates me.

My favorite strawman from people who play video games 60 hours a week is, "WELL, EVERYBODY ELSE MY AGE JUST GOES OUT AND GETS DRUNK AT THE BAR" as if getting shitcanned is the only reason anyone does it, or like it assumes everybody needs to put as much of themselves into a trivial passtime as they do.
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Pacobird

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« Reply #16 on: August 18, 2009, 03:52:41 PM »

Quote from: Brentai
Throwing yourself into something you have no passion for hoping to find someone else who is also there for no reason other than some vague need to associate with people... I mean, do you really feel that friendships based on mutual dislike of something are the best kind?  Okay, so I know what kind of group you tend to hang out with, but still...


Quote
I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. But I don't honestly know what kind.... It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in looking as if he might have played football in college. Then again, you may pick up just enough education to hate people who say, 'It's a secret between he and I.' Or you may end up in some business office, throwing paper clips at the nearest stenographer. I just don't know.  This fall I think you're riding for - it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started.

~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
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Brentai

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« Reply #17 on: August 18, 2009, 03:55:04 PM »

You seem to think you've got me figured out.  Okay, Pacobird.  Why do I sit at this computer every waking moment of my life?
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Pacobird

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« Reply #18 on: August 18, 2009, 04:00:01 PM »

Do you sit at your computer every waking moment of your life?
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Brentai

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« Reply #19 on: August 18, 2009, 04:03:35 PM »

Yes.
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