3. Hmm. But then again, perhaps you may be able to extract some useful information from Rainbow. After all, he's that dratted puppies spirit guide, or whatever. His fate will be the same!
You turn and head back up the hill to the small pond. To your left, the edge of an light wood.
Rainbow watches you come. "On second thought," you say, "perhaps you could be of some use to me."
The trout ducks his head. "Oh?"
"Don't play coy with me," you say furiously. "You know what I want! Now, where is he? Where has that blind idiot gotten to!?"
Rainbow shakes his head. "Sorry?"
"The puppy, you blasted sea kitten! I will have my revenge!" you scowl.
Rainbow nods. "Ah. It is as I thought. Feelings of anger and hatred cloud your mind. Beware these feelings, rabbit, for they are the path to --"
You cuff Rainbow with a paw in mid-sentence. "Enough with your blather! The idiotic ramblings of a ectothermic aquatic vertebrate are of no interest to me! Tell me where the puppy has gone, or face my wrath!"
The trout recovers and comes to meet your eye once again. "Very well. You have your own path to follow, rabbit, and your own discoveries to make. I will tell you what you wish to know."
You thump your hind leg impatiently. "Yeah, yeah. I'm only a construct of a narrative, and a completely silly one, at that. My purpose here is to provide the role of what you would call an antagonist, albeit only in the loosest sense of the term, as this narrative eschews all normal and established concepts and traditions in favor of idiotic and nonsensical nonlinear progression. You're not telling me anything I don't already know, chordate."
Rainbow merely continues to stare at you expressionless. "You have much to learn, my friend," he says.
"The puppy's whereabouts, you infernal scaled vertebrate," you say, raising one paw to cuff him again if necessary.
"You will find that which you seek when you least expect it," replies the trout.
A moment of silence passes as you narrow your eyes.
You sigh, as realization dawns.
"He's right behind me, riding some sort of gigantic construct, isn't he," you say.
"Maybe," replies Rainbow, and ducks.
You turn to find CPE bearing down on you, riding, of all things, a gigantic snowball. He's barking at you excitedly, obviously steering the huge mass somehow right for you.
Your eyes widen in shock despite yourself. For a moment you can only stand there, in awe at the complete and utter ridiculousness of it all.
"Mittens!" barks the puppy.
You dash out of the way just in time to the safety of the trees.
Strangely, the puppy seems to lose interest in you as soon as he passes you by. You emerge from the wood and shake your paw at the puppy and his giant snowball as he recedes into the distance.
"You're the worst protagonist ever!" you scream, shuddering with indignant rage.
But then something odd, even for this universe, begins to happen. The puppy seems to be rolling up more and more random material, causing his snowball (which is quickly just turning into a giant ball of random construction) to gain more and more mass, which in turn lends it to pick up larger and larger objects. Somehow, these objects just stick to the sides of the mass, defying all laws of physics.
Atop it all, the puppy rides, barking happily, and trying to bite his ears.
Once again, strange background music begins to play.
"Blast you, infernal puppy! You won't get away with this!" you say.
You quickly look around to gather your options. Hmm. Rainbow's pond seems intact. Judging by the way that idiot gets around, the pond must be some sort of interdimensional portal that allows the user to quickly travel through time and space.
On the other hand, there's a rocket ship, complete with lighting bolt wings and a small circular window.
Or perhaps your best bet would be to sneak aboard the giant mass yourself. Yes. That way you could keep a close eye on the puppy, perhaps even sabotage his ride. Yessss.
In any case, you can't stay here for much longer. The landscape is quickly becoming a barren wasteland as CPE rolls up more and more material.
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1. Use Rainbow's pond to escape. The puppy shall regret ever crossing you!
2. The rocket ship might be handy. You are trained as a shuttle pilot, after all. CPE won't see that coming!
3. Actually, sneaking aboard the mass will probably be your best bet. Puppy won't expect that, ha!
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Topic: The adventures of THAT RABBIT (Read 2840 times)