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Author Topic: Let the Pandas Die!  (Read 5765 times)

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Miss Cat Ears

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Let the Pandas Die!
« on: September 23, 2009, 12:04:54 PM »

:sadpanda: What kind of person do you have to be to give up on pandas completely? :sadpanda:

What if your kids didn't believe in pandas????
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Catloaf

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2009, 12:16:54 PM »

He also hates tigers.  Even though I'm sure if one ever met him the tiger would just love him.... as a source of tasty meat.

And why are they "Worth more dead than alive?"  Do people still buy tiger pelts!?  And what kind of tiger was he even talking about?

I just can't give up on a giant, potentially man-eating kitty!   Nor can I give up on gigantic mountain raccoons!
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Miss Cat Ears

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2009, 12:20:27 PM »

But apparently he looooooves him some bats.
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Classic

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2009, 12:22:29 PM »

Nor, can I give up on gigantic mountain raccoons?

I has reading problems. Also this dude sounds kind of like a prick. It's pretty amazing.
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Brentai

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2009, 12:39:26 PM »

He kinda has a point.  Pandas are sort of past the point of irrevocably fucked, and they're probably going to drop right out of the remaining ecosystem at some point and survive solely on human support.  But he also puts forth the strongest counterargument to the plan: pandas are cute and lovable and make people want to give lots of money to endangered species groups. 
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Mongrel

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2009, 12:42:17 PM »

1): This guy is a eurocentric retard. Pandas are a Chinese National Symbol the way Bald Eagles are an American symbol. Most modern Panda conservation efforts are heavily staffed and funded by the Chinese. Their continued existsance is also one of the very few victories for conservationists in China. Support for their preservation is not going to disappear any time soon.

2): Tigers are worth more dead than alive due to the Asian (both east asian and south asian) bullshit beliefs in the healing, aphrodisiac, and sex-enhancing properties of horrible things made from various Tiger Bits (among other desperately endangered animals). And yes, pelts are still valued. Living animals hanging around in their territory generate no profits for criminals and slim profits from tourism.

3): Pandas are no longer thought to be part of the Raccoon family. Scientists have backtracked once again and have now gone back to saying they are part of the Ursus (bear) family.
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Shinra

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2009, 03:07:04 PM »

To be honest, guys, it's kind of shitty, but he's right.

Pandas are really bad at evolution. If anything, we should be embracing them as solid proof against intelligent design - they're a carnivorous species of bear that survives primarily on a hard to digest plant that provides virtually no nutrition. They spend 90+% of their waking time eating, or looking for patches of bamboo to eat. They have to eat 30 pounds of bamboo a day to survive.

Because all they eat (99%) is bamboo, which they can't digest properly because they're carnivores, and can't digest easily because the plants are so fibrous, they have virtually no energy which makes them incredibly slow and insures that they have virtually no dexterity. Because of this Pandas stay away from inclines and do not climb.

They're anti-social animals who can't coexist around other Pandas, or most other animals, so they rarely breed and will only mate with pandas that match some strange panda criteria - because they're so picky most Pandas never breed and those that do breed rarely and in small numbers.

So why haven't Pandas died out yet? They're really big carnivores. That's the only thing that has really saved them. Their only evolutionary ace. Carnivores don't often hunt and eat other carnivores, and there's not many predators that can hunt in that size category. That's where we come in. Hate to say it guys, but if we were ever given an evolutionary place in the world, our evolutionary place was to make sure that the flawed genetics of the Panda don't continue into further generations and species. We are their only real natural predator, and failure is unfortunately their destiny.

I know Pandas are very cute animals. It's very sad that Pandas have to die out. But come on, guys - this is evolution. Evolution, unfortunately, does not always evolve viable species.
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Mongrel

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2009, 03:14:38 PM »

You guys kill me. Pandas have actually evolved an incredibly successful evolutionary niche: They develeoped their 'cute' genes to the point where they could just con another species into compensating for all their shortcomings.

 :vampire:
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Detonator

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Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2009, 03:26:54 PM »

I'm willing to bet that the national zoo here has made quite a bit of money from the pandas over the past decade.  People go just to see the pandas.  People buy panda merchandise.  If the pandas weren't there, I think the zoo as a whole would suffer from the decrease in revenue.

Perhaps this is an overly simplistic take on the subject, but it's one that lets me keep seeing pandas.
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"Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that's where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit"

Doom

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2009, 03:31:44 PM »

You guys kill me. Pandas have actually evolved an incredibly successful evolutionary niche: They develeoped their 'cute' genes to the point where they could just con another species into compensating for all their shortcomings.

 :vampire:

They are competing with Dogs and Cats in that regard, though. Stiff competition.
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Brentai

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God damn it threadsplit.
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2009, 03:33:30 PM »

The "deserve to die out due to natural selection" argument loses some steam when you consider they got along just fine before the complete destruction of their original habitat, and are actually surviving in some capacity in a completely foreign environment.  Plus, you know, homo sapiens really do not have any right to criticize other life forms for bad evolutionary calls.
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Shinra

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2009, 03:35:24 PM »

You guys kill me. Pandas have actually evolved an incredibly successful evolutionary niche: They develeoped their 'cute' genes to the point where they could just con another species into compensating for all their shortcomings.

 :vampire:

They are competing with Dogs and Cats in that regard, though. Stiff competition.

Especially since both cats and dogs have evolutionary strengths other than being completely adorable. I can't really think of a lot of animals whose only strength is being cute.
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Mongrel

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2009, 03:44:17 PM »

I can't tell if you guys are responding seriously or not.

I don't think so (especially in Doom's case), but maybe that's just me hoping. :rolleyes:
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yyler

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2009, 03:48:09 PM »

It would cost less money in the long run if we just figured out how to replace the panda's ecological niche than if we tried to save them.
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The Artist Formerly Known As Yoji

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Re: wut? threadsplit?
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2009, 04:14:59 PM »

The "deserve to die out due to natural selection" argument loses some steam when you consider they got along just fine before the complete destruction of their original habitat, and are actually surviving in some capacity in a completely foreign environment.  Plus, you know, homo sapiens really do not have any right to criticize other life forms for bad evolutionary calls.

My thoughts exactly. SERVES THOSE FUCKERS RIGHT TO DIE WHEN WE PRACTICE SLASH-AND-BURN AGRICULTURE. SCREW THEM AND THE HORSES THEY RODE IN ON

Then again, I don't get all weepy-eyed when people on the radio go on about dolphins being butchered during the annual hunt in Taiji. But I figured that's because I'm a horrible person. :shrug:
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Kashan

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2009, 04:21:28 PM »

The argument against saving the pandas assumes that all the money spent of saving them would be spend more efficiently in the pursuit of saving endangered species if it wasn't being spent on pandas. I find that unlikely.
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Shinra

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2009, 04:49:20 PM »

The argument against saving the pandas assumes that all the money spent of saving them would be spend more efficiently in the pursuit of saving endangered species if it wasn't being spent on pandas. I find that unlikely.

This is the only convincing argument for saving the pandas, imho.

Money not spent on saving the pandas would just be sent on slaughtering Tibetans, so...
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Büge

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2009, 05:19:18 PM »

They need to find a way to train Pandas to eat Tibetans.
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Catloaf

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #18 on: September 23, 2009, 05:28:06 PM »

Then again, I don't get all weepy-eyed when people on the radio go on about dolphins being butchered during the annual hunt in Taiji. But I figured that's because I'm a horrible person. :shrug:

If that doesn't make you weepy-eyed, you're either a horrible person or are in desperate need of a trip to SeaWorld.
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Brentai

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Re: Let the Pandas Die!
« Reply #19 on: September 23, 2009, 05:43:09 PM »

Money not spent on saving the pandas would just be sent on slaughtering Tibetans, so...

...why am I having a debate with Shinra?
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