The cool water of the well slashed at Juni's face with ice-cold fingers as she plunged deeper and deeper into darkness. When a handhold loomed up at her from the inky black, she snatched and scrabbled for it, fingers only succeeding in scraping off a few loose pebbles.
She double-jumped.
A moment later, Juni collapsed to her hands and knees, sack-dress soaked from head to toe, soggy hair pooled on the granite floor beneath her. She coughed a few times, then rose unsteadily to her knees, gazing around a vista of murky, dark shapes. A red light and a white light beckoned to her from chambers at either end of the hall.
Investigating the white light first, she found a dizzying array of robotic machines, which quickly made her hug back against the wall. That way was too dangerous, but she would have reconsidered if she'd known what waited in the other end of the Well.
She struck out for the red, faintly detecting the sound of running lava. She WAS looking for a red key, after all... Perhaps that was what the stranger had meant when he'd said this was the only place for it.
A short climb downhill later, Juni stood over a bubbling pool of viscous, bubbling fluid, the planet's lifeblood, wondering how best to navigate it... It seemed too far to leap... Perhaps she would have to brave the robots after all: there would surely be a switch or somesuch she could press to grant access?
Thoughts of buttons granting access reminded Juni of her college days, where she'd first discovered her inherent attraction to other women, the silky feel of their hands carressing her body so tenderly... She had never needed an All-Seeing Eye to know their love was true.
But Juni was distracted from her reverie as the lava began to slowly shift and stir... Something was coming out of it! The only warning she had was a faint discolouring in the frothing waves of lava, before suddenly a dozen balls of fire soared at her, exploding all around her pixellated head.
"TGPHI9UHTR!" she cried in terror, leaping this way and that, almost tumbling right to her doom, if only she'd been so lucky! Eleven fire shooters formed a halo around a tangled mess of blonde hair, swathed so thickly over a giant's head that the only thing that protruded from under it was the biggest, thickest pair of lips she'd ever seen: so marvellously pouty that she couldn't held but feel a tremor of jealousy in her heart.
HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS
The voice boomed across the chamber, the beast's mouth sawing open and closed even as it emerged, so that its mouth filled with the thick, red lava. When the bathrobe-clad monstrosity emerged, lava washed from its figure in waves and rushed out of its mouth, hands raising in an Ocelot gesture that saw the fire shooters blast a second time, then a third. There was no end to the raining torrent: this God, if that was what it was, was out for blood.
TODAY WE'RE PLAYING EXQUISITE KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE
It lunged forwards, trying to snap Juni out of the air as she leapt through the fireballs, thick lips parting to reveal a ravenous maw. It was only with a well-timed double-jump that Juni landed atop his head, even as spikes, dozens of them, sawed out from under the living nightmare's flesh, trying to impale her ankles. Juni slid around among that tangled swath of unkempt hair, while the God sloshed in the lava, tossing up great waves with his arms.
Another elevenfireballs soared at Juni and she did the only thing she could: took cover in front of the beast, counting on his own head to protect her. Megaheated air rushed around her lithe frame, singing her ugly potato sack dress.
TWELVE SHOTS
The God of Frocto opened his mouth. A fire shooter was inside.
THIS TIME I'VE GOT TWELVE SHOTS
The blast slammed into Juni's side hard and sent her reeling. A hand rose from the lava, caught her even as the heated "fluids" dripping from it burned her little body and she shoveled into the beast's hungry maw.
OM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM
OM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM
OM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM
OM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM ANOM... ANOM
(It seemed 25% of the time there was always an ANOM that came late, just to throw her off)
Totally sweet japanese metal played as Juni was ground into mist, before Frocto's Head sank into the depths from whence it had came. And on the edge of those Dicksucking Lips... If one listened closely...
Fssssh.