CHAPTER 7: TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTIN’ OFF AGAIN!
Alrighty! Let’s get this shit out of the way! This first chapter of the new run is irritating! Let me tell you! But let me introduce a few new Moemon to the team…
Chong and Bridget! Chong, who you’re familiar with, was an experiment! He is part of the SECONDARY team! Bridget, on the other hand, has earned a spot in the main team! He’s Tacobell’s replacement. It just wasn’t worth raising a second grass Pokemon when I had said if I encountered a male Moemon, they would be added to my team.
I’ve already introduced Waterboard, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to show off her some. Instead of putting Waterpulse on DEATHULON, I ended up putting it on her. And let me tell you: She kicks ASS.
Taking a friend’s advice, I held onto Loli and raised her appropriately – and the result has pleased me! Raichu is considerably more powerful than Pikachu, something that I forgotten. And she generally just kicks all ass, so she has earned a spot on the PRIMARY team! And then you have Jizzabelle, who is a nice little experiment. Jizzabelle is actually quite sturdy, so she’s (at the moment) part of my SECONDARY team.
With that said, here is my team at the beginning of the chapter! It’s shapin’ up to becoming close to my final team. :D We’ll see how this changes though. For now, let’s explore Celadon City!
In the “Café” (I mean, c’mon Nintendo. Who do you think you’re fooling at this point?), you find a hopeless gambler who just sold his body to the slot machines to pay off his debt. To prevent him self from gambling anymore, he gives you his coin case. Upon closer inspection, it has various stains on it. Ugh, nothing I’d want to check out under a black light.
… I giggle happily whenever I see this MONSTER of a store. They didn’t have a hat store though, which made me sad D: This hat is not very flattering in my opinion.
Inside of the Celadon Mansion, there’s an old lady who gives you tea which “quenches anyone’s thirst”. I have a feeling I’ll need this later, so I keep it in my Hello Kitty thermos to keep it nice and warm :3 Nice old ladies are nice!
Also inside the mansion is one of the game’s designer’s! He tells you to come back after you’ve collected all the Moemon. He better have something nice. Maybe a restraining order against EVERYONE IN THE GAME. Especially Asshat. What a douche.
Moving on to the game corner! Time to do some gambling and shit. Nothing like giving a minor the ability to gamble, something that’s VERY addicting and irritating! Gotta’ love it.
… Except I’m TERRIBLE at slot machines, and on top of that, I have very little time and patience to actually grind at the game corner so I can get Porygon and other necessary things! So I cheat! Meaning, uh.. shit, how do I explain this… Ah, right! Loli, er… SHOCKS the machine every time so it lands on me winning. A lot.
Besides, this game makes no fucking sense. I mean, how did I win in any of those? Pikachu, Slowpoke, Voltorb is a win? What the hell? Whatever.
Pixels the Porygon, named by Cronos, GET! Right back to the box you go! :D
I also nabbed a Dratini while I was there. Cronos suggested that I name her Draggedon, so I do. She’s sassy, and pretty much hates everything behind those incredibly darling face <3 Okay, so she hates everything but me, because I saved her from those bastard game corner people, and the chances of me molesting her are pretty damn slim. But I digress! While I’m there, I also grab Flamethrower (because I’m too lazy to wait for Jail Bait to learn it), and Iron Tail (because it’s an awesome attack for Loli and pretty much finishes her skill set).
Oh, and I also use that leaf stone I’ve been holding onto and evolve Bridget! He becomes even more Trap worthy! :D Horrah! The only skill I care about him learning that’s not a TM is something he learns at level 42 as a Vileplume, so this worked out. Let’s go talk to some more of the locals now!
… GEE I WONDER WHAT COULD BE GOING ON HERE.
… OH MY GOD D: This is a DANGEROUS WORLD. Random gang members threatening to punch girls, ones under the age of fifteen! I don’t feel safe. Ever. D:
Oh, okay, good. Because every time I go in game corners, the first thing I look for are secret switches behind posters. Man, glad he cleared that up.
I take Sexbomb out of the party for now, because really, out of the lot he’s expendable and pretty easy to level given his strength. Draggedon is going to be a primary team member, because she’s fucking AWESOME later.
D: WHAT IS IT WITH THESE GUYS? I talk to the guy standing in front of the Team Rocket poster, and he straight up attacks me! When I beat him, he runs into the corner! All I wanted to do was see the poster…
Hey! WAIT A SECOND! There’s a secret switch behind this poster! That bastard before lied to me! HE WILL PAY FOR THIS. Whatever, let’s push it and hope nothing bad happens! Instead, some stairs appear where the guy walked off. LET’S GO!
Rocket Hideout! Let’s do this shit.
TEAM ROCKET GRUNTS! They all use the same stuff. Zubats, Ekans, the generic stuff. All REALLY EASY to kill.
… AW COME ON. D: IT HAS A MOVEMENT PAD PUZZLE. This is dumb.
This was annoying. D: I hate all of the puzzles in this game. None of them are HARD, but if you make one tiny mistake by pressing left instead of down, you’re fucked. FORTUNATELY, THAT IS NOT THE CASE THIS TIME. I think.
IT IS THE DISTANT FUTURE. THE YEAR 2000. WE ARE ROBOTS… WE NO LONGER SAY YES, INSTEAD WE SAY AFFIRMATIVE.
AW COME ON D:
FUCK YOU! I’ll meddle in your affairs all I damn well please! I mean, who puts TWO MOVING FLOOR PANNEL PUZZLES IN THEIR BASE? Honestly!
I hate this stupid place. And apparently the dude who randomly placed items around knew that, and dropped TM 21 off. Frustration! IT’s a shame you can’t teach yourself TMs, because I’d pretty much fuck everyone up in the game with this attack my self.
I also pick up some black glasses for Vegeta though! Now she looks like a total bad ass. Here’s my five second sprite edit with no shading to give you an idea as to how she looks.
Awww, yeah.
This guy wins the dumbass of the day award. “WHO HAS DA KEY? OH DUURRRRH I HAD IT HAHA OH WAIT I DROPPED IT AND DID NOTHING TO STOP SOMEONE FROM PICKING IT UP. DEEEEEEERRRRPPP.”.
The guy on the left in the first screen shot recognizes me from team rocket, so I beat the piss out of him before his friend joins in. It’s like an old Japanese kung fu movie! Anyway, with all the people dead, I can go visit THE BIG BAD LEADER OF TEAM ROCKET.
He’s a real creeper. D: I do not like creepers. And he’s a not-so-nice guy! And as much as I appreciate him stealing Pokemon away from the potential rapists, crime is a no go! In other words: Bring it, bitch.
Boom! Time for the ULTIMATE FIGHT! The Sunglassed Wonder against his strongest Pokemon…
VEGETA VERSUS KANGASKHAN!
BLOW FOR BLOW! ALTHOUGH HIS ARE A LOT STRONGER!
NOT A STRONG AS A LOW KICK, THOUGH! Victory is MINE!
Blah blah blah WE WILL MEET AGAIN blah blah blah. Just give me the goods, old man. SILPH SCOPE, GET! :D Now, one more thing to do before I’m done with Celadon…
Oooh, it is? :D Thank you, creepy, perverted old man!
You can tell me all you want, baby ;D
I think I can entertain you, gorgeous ;D
Oh, I’d LOVE to see your Pokemon ;D (what the fuck?)
Eh. I got nothin’.
No D: That was the OLD MAN D: I just looked in BRIEFLY. Very briefly. AND WHAT IS THERE TO PEEK ON? D: DID I MISS THE LESBIAN PARTY? Also, have an Ivysaur which Jail Bait SLAUGHTERS like everything else in here.
D: I feel guilty setting the thing on fire. It’s too damn cute. I MUST HAVE ONE.
WHY THANK YOU :D And I won’t. But it won’t really matter. All of your Moemon happen to be FLAMMABLE. And I can make big fires.
Well, I don’t like YOU. HAH. I won THAT battle.
:D She’s pretty nice! Yeah, it is! This is pretty nice so far! She hasn’t threatened to violate me or made any sexual innuendos yet!
It’s cool- Wait, what? Dozed off? Oh, shit, she talks in her sleep.
And leader of its many whores…
Ohh, that’s nice :D
Eesh. This will not end will for you then.
… REALLY? D: So, she’s nice, but kinda DUMB. Did she miss the FIGHTS GOING ON AROUND HER? Oh well. Let’s do this shit.
:D
:D!
:D!! Jail Bait is the BEST. Er, wait… That sounded bad…
Of course I’m awesome. Give me the RAINBOW BADGE!
This is an awesome attack for Bridget! It replaces that shitty attack, Absorb, for something far more powerful. One more attack, Razor Leaf, and I’ll have his move set completed!
And there you have it! Chapter seven is completed! Horrah! And look, I CAN SAVE!
NEXT TIME ON LET’S PLAY MOEMON LEAFGREEN:
CHAPTER EIGHT: BACK TO LAVENDER TOWN!