I would like to state for the record that, while I'm the drunkest I've ever been, I still have some semblance of an adherence to grammatical accuracy and would not, in fact, make out with any of you (potentially to the delight of onlookers who have a predisposition towards homoerotic acts of the male persuasion, such as my esteemed colleague in enormous bipedal android combat, Mars R. Dragon PhD.). I still have standards, after all, and I would still not engage in such acts with one Fried Octopus despite his being such a braggart regarding his (and I quote) "dick-sucking lips." I would, however, engage in virtual gladiatorial combat with such a virtuous individual for the delight of said onlookers, as often are such acts mistaken for desire in onlookers, as evinced by many a prospective author on the Internet.
Thank you for your time. That is all.