I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that this thread doubles as the "hey, post here when you're drunk!" thread. I mean, I could go back and read through the thread a little but, y'know... effort.
That said, I have three
Mike's Hard Lemonades in me - a 50% increase in inebriative fluidity! - and I am well and highly impaired (an interesting side effect of my being remarkably underweight and too poor to maintain a well-stocked store of spirits). Not so impaired that it has any sort of detrimental effect on my typing (or my extravagant loquaciousness; indeed, if anything, it only exacerbates it to levels unseen to a more lucid mind) or on my self-delusion of me being one interesting motherfucker, though the former could merely be a side effect of playing FPSes that my computer can only run at frame rates which would reduce lesser men to vomiting and migraines. Typing with self-inflicted lag, if you will.
Another interesting point seems to be that I am, in fact, a happy drunk. Either that, I was in a good mood prior to inebriation, or I am an angry and/or sad drunk and, when compounded with my normal levels of ire and/or melancholy, it merely wraps around to the extreme end. Certainly nothing worth maintaining over the long term - indeed, I seem to be at my best when my rage is focused upon something - but interesting to note nonetheless.
After some contemplation I feel the need to question why, precisely, one always believes that one's state of impairment is a matter which requires deep public scrutiny. Perhaps, after the destruction of the ego barriers that inebriation provides, selflessness is the first thing to be cast aside.
On a more personal note, I regret that there's no women to grope. On second thought, no, I don't; doing so would be unseemly and ungentlemanly. But I suppose I could ask first; even if one is a lech there's no cost involved in being polite about it.
...
I also appear to be a chatty drunk. Now observe as I return in several hours' time and immediately regret what I hath inscribed upon the vast expanse of the Internet.