Tonight I went to a bar.
A trendy fucking campus-adjacent bar.
I hate places like that, but it's where my friends were going, and it got me out of the house.
Now, I picked up my ID back in '02 or so. I was under 21, and the ID says "UNDER 21 UNTIL 10/01/2003" right on it. (It's also vertical, while over-21 ID's are horizontal.)
The guy checking ID's told me he'd let me in this time but that I need to replace it with an over-21 ID.
That shouldn't be a big deal, but it frankly irritates the shit out of me.
I have a legal ID. It has my date of birth on it. It says what day I turned 21, which was over 4 years ago. It has a hologram, a barcode, the whole nine yards. It is clearly a legal piece of identification.
Moreover, I have lived here, in this city, for twenty-five years. I was born here. I've sure as SHIT been here longer than your goddamn piece of shit eyesore trendy bar, or any of its employees. Fuck you people for telling me where I am and am not allowed to go in MY town.
And it's not as if I LOOK like I'm 20. I have a receding hairline so obvious you can see it on my fucking avatar. No rational, sighted human being would mistake me for a 20-year-old. Getting carded is cute sometimes, and makes me feel a little better about the tumbleweeds of hair I leave in the shower every morning, but when somebody actually threatens not to let me into a bar it gets a little insulting.
America's drinking age, and enforcement of same, is asinine. Yeah, all right, this landmass was settled by Puritans; I get it. Having a beer is immoral. Certainly the Mormon population of Mesa would agree.
But seriously, you fuckers can piss off. I was born here. I live here. I support the local economy, and right now I'm trying to support it by buying a goddamn beer. I'm NOT drinking and driving; I pulled up on a bike. I DON'T look like I'm under 21, I have a legal, state-issued ID explicitly STATING that I'm not, and for crying out loud, what would be the harm if I WERE?
Just let me have a beer in peace. I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
I've ordered my replacement ID, but I can't say I'm in a huge hurry to go back to that place. There are plenty of other bars with better beer and better atmosphere that don't treat me like a fucking criminal when I walk in the door.