Topic: JASON NO (Read 7647 times)

Frocto · « **on:** February 03, 2010, 01:00:42 AM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu8J8LEJGUM

At 3:04.

I haven't laughed so hard at a game in a while and this is DEFINITELY a rental.

Anyway, so far this game looks like a hodgepodge of horrible facial expressions, 24-style split screen, teeth brushing mini-games and the joys of being a facetious yuppie who drinks straight from the carton. Discuss.

Brentai · « **Reply #1 on:** February 03, 2010, 01:34:46 AM »

The humor value is quickly overshadowed by the fact that a Horrible Father Simulator sounds even more nightmarish than Silent Hill.

Frocto · « **Reply #2 on:** February 03, 2010, 01:48:28 AM »

Friday · « **Reply #3 on:** February 03, 2010, 03:24:31 AM »

god damn that is the stupidest kid in the universe

> find jason

You don't see a jason.

> look for jason

There is no jason here.

> look

You are in a mall. Hundreds of mindless consumers wander the thoroughfare. Any one of them could be a child predator. Your son could be being loaded into the back of a van as we speak.

> n

You head north. You are overlooking a food stand below you. Escalators lead up and down between the two levels. There is a clown here, selling balloons.

> attack clown

The clown makes a scary face and pulls out a butcher knife. Your son could be being offloaded into an old house with a musty smell right now.

> low jab

You punch the clown in the gut. His butcher knife slices into your right thigh. Blood squirts from your leg and mixes with the stench of your failure as a father. Your son could be being undressed as we speak.

> uppercut

You knock out the clown. Various internal insectoids begin to crawl out of his nose and mouth. They seek a new host.

> d

You go down the escalators. There is a group of four killing zombies here.

> talk to group

It's too dark to do anything. It's also probably too dark for your son to resist his molester's groping.

> light lantern

It's too dark to do anything.

> s

It is very dark. You are likely a failure as a father. Your son's corpse is most likely being raped as we speak. There's still time to salvage the body if you hurry.

> s

You have been eaten by a grue.

YOU HAVE DIED.

Your score is 0 out of a possible 6,527. This gives you the title of worst father in history. Your wife divorces you and takes your entire estate. You spend the rest of your life learning a new definition of suffering as you are slowly digested in the stomach of the grue over the course of 1,000 years. But it's probably not as bad as what Jason experienced.

Walker · « **Reply #4 on:** February 03, 2010, 06:38:28 AM »

Uh... what is this game supposed to be, exactly?

Disposable Ninja · « **Reply #5 on:** February 03, 2010, 07:09:53 AM »

Quote from: Walker on February 03, 2010, 06:38:28 AM

Uh... what is this game supposed to be, exactly?

A big experimental adventure game.

Niku · « **Reply #6 on:** February 03, 2010, 08:37:44 AM »

Supposedly it is all crazy branching and the producer only wants you to play it one time so that you get a unique experience. Or something.

I'm renting it for sure just because one way or another I think it will be entertaining.

Disposable Ninja · « **Reply #7 on:** February 03, 2010, 09:07:11 AM »

What I want to know is if Jason is autistic, or just a badly written prop.

Mothra · « **Reply #8 on:** February 03, 2010, 09:28:06 AM »

!!!!

JASON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Joxam · « **Reply #9 on:** February 03, 2010, 11:04:10 AM »

3:04 oh god it hurts, I laughed so hard it hurts.

Ted Belmont · « **Reply #10 on:** February 03, 2010, 12:36:10 PM »

Isn't Heavy Rain supposed to have AMAZING LIFELIKE GRAPHIX?

James Edward Smith · « **Reply #11 on:** February 03, 2010, 01:14:05 PM »

I heard that Heavy Rain was made because someone played Shenmue and God of War and thought, "Hey, quicktime events... what if I made a whole game that was JUST THOSE, and was really frustrating, and really fucking sucked?!"

Then someone at a big studio let them make it.

BAD END

Phenwah · « **Reply #12 on:** February 03, 2010, 01:41:16 PM »

These graphics look less like "real life" and more like "PlayStation Home." I smell a crossover!

Quote from: Friday on February 03, 2010, 03:24:31 AM

You knock out the clown. Various internal insectoids begin to crawl out of his nose and mouth. They seek a new host.

Hey, now. You're thinking of Indigo Prophecy.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3l69i_lp-fahrenheit-mayans-6_videogames

Lady Duke · « **Reply #13 on:** February 04, 2010, 12:23:00 AM »

Wow. That looks awful and weird.

Frocto · « **Reply #14 on:** February 04, 2010, 12:28:49 AM »

Quote from: Phenwah on February 03, 2010, 01:41:16 PM

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3l69i_lp-fahrenheit-mayans-6_videogames

Jesus Christ this looks badass

Lady Duke · « **Reply #15 on:** February 04, 2010, 12:52:52 AM »

What the crap, seriously.

Classic · « **Reply #16 on:** February 04, 2010, 01:15:10 AM »

fffuuuuck. I need to sleep not watch all of that LP!

Shinra · « **Reply #17 on:** February 04, 2010, 01:22:41 AM »

The graphics are lifelike. The feeling of revulsion is uncanny valley right here.

What would make it more lifelike is if the writing wasn't so bad. "MAY I HAVE A BALOON? I WOULD LOVE A BALOON EVER SO MUCH FATHER."

"JASON NOOOOOOOOOO THE CROWD JASON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO JASON JASON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

also yes how autistic is this child if his immediate response in crowded mall is RUN OUTSIDE AND CROSS BUSY STREET

I guess this comes from the game being written by belgians and being translated into american english?

Miss Cat Ears · « **Reply #18 on:** February 04, 2010, 06:35:52 AM »

Damn I wish my ex hadn't sold my copy of Indigo Prophecy for gambling money, I love that game

Frocto · « **Reply #19 on:** February 04, 2010, 06:46:14 AM »

nice attempt at covering for having to buy your avatar new sleeves all the time

(this will be a lot funnier when MCE changes her avatar to a penis)

News:

Author Topic: JASON NO (Read 7647 times)