Brontoforumus Archive

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:


This board has been fossilized.
You are reading an archive of Brontoforumus, a.k.a. The Worst Forums Ever, from 2008 to early 2014.  Registration and posting (for most members) has been disabled here to discourage spambots from taking over.  Old members can still log in to view boards, PMs, etc.

The new message board is at http://brontoforum.us.

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 7

Author Topic: Bottom 5  (Read 10362 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Miss Cat Ears

  • Tested
  • Karma: 45
  • Posts: 1927
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #40 on: February 09, 2010, 01:28:45 PM »

The more I think about it, the more I realize that just about all these games - including ones I'm not listing - are great games as long as you fucking stop playing and pretend like you beat it at some arbitrary point.
I do this with every game the instant it starts to become boring.
Logged

Kayin

  • Akzidenz Grotesk
  • Tested
  • Karma: 30
  • Posts: 1215
    • View Profile
    • I Wanna Be The Guy
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #41 on: February 09, 2010, 01:50:31 PM »

Hydlide reminds me of all the bad games me and my friend's made Makaris play on video. So heres the 'top 5' of bad.

Escape from Atlantis
Hydlide
Deadly Tower
Super Pitfall
Badstreet Brawler

These beat out Hudson Hawk, Cheetah Men 2 and Gilligan's Island. :|
Logged

Disposable Ninja

  • Tested
  • Karma: -65447
  • Posts: 4529
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #42 on: February 09, 2010, 02:02:39 PM »

Final Fantasy VI

There. I said it.

Again.

Final Fantasy VI blows shit. It's a terrible fucking game. I suppose if I played it fifteen years ago when it came out, I might suck the FF6 dick like every other dork on the internet who had his mind blown by Mode 8 graphics and 16 whole characters, only about six of whom were interesting or even important to the plot.

But no, I owned a Genesis. I had to wait until later to play it. And boy, was I in for some disappointment. Once you get past all that amazing for 1994 visuals, there really isn't a whole lot there. Superficial gameplay, three interesting characters in a pack of dull shitstains, and some admittedly good music. That's it. Final Fantasy V, at least, has spectacular gameplay. FFVI is a god damned mess. It's worthless shit and it has aged about as well.

Oh, and Star Ocean: Till the End of Time. That game sucks, too.
Logged

Bleck

  • Tailor Made Squid Unicycles
  • Tested
  • Karma: -4
  • Posts: 361
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #43 on: February 09, 2010, 02:05:19 PM »

Disgaea: How people trick themselves into thinking this thing is even remotely fun is beyond me.

I refer to these people specifically as neckbeardos

I owned a Genesis.

Well, there's your problem!
Logged

Kazz

  • Projekt Direktor
  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65475
  • Posts: 6423
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #44 on: February 09, 2010, 02:08:10 PM »

Disgaea: How people trick themselves into thinking this thing is even remotely fun is beyond me.

qft, but the same people who like it also like other JRPGs so I figure I'm just missing that part of the brain and can't really comment on whether the game is good or bad

i did appreciate how the game's damage scaled into the millions at a certain point; i'd like more games to just launch themselves into ridiculous.  something about an attack that deals 3,493,435 damage is funny to me.
Logged

James Edward Smith

  • CIS male, Albeist Scumbag
  • Tested
  • Karma: 11
  • Posts: 2087
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #45 on: February 09, 2010, 02:43:09 PM »

I liked Final Fantasy Tactics quite a bit and so I got Disgaea based on that and all the love it seems to get. But man, IT SUCKS.

At first I thought it was just boring, but then I discovered that whole supe up your items by fighting through a million battles inside of them thing and MAN, was that ever a coffin nail in that fucking game.

The whole gang up on a guy cause you're all in attack range and I'm your leader thing was sort of cool and cute, but it got really monotonous.
Logged
Talk? Talk is for lovers, Merlin. I need a sword to be king.

Alex

  • the Slug
  • Tested
  • Karma: 0
  • Posts: 1041
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #46 on: February 09, 2010, 02:48:11 PM »

Final Fantasy VI

It's okay, DN.  I played it when I was young and impressionable and still don't think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I mean, it's OKAY, but it's not super A++ amazing.
Logged

TA

  • Tested
  • Karma: 29
  • Posts: 3219
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #47 on: February 09, 2010, 02:51:39 PM »

Final Fantasy VI

It's okay, DN.  I played it when I was young and impressionable and still don't think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I mean, it's OKAY, but it's not super A++ amazing.

Yeah, basically.  Mechanics kind of fall apart once magicite gets involved, most of the characters don't really add anything.  It's like 60% of a pretty awesome game though.
Logged
Do you understand how terrifying the words “vibrating strap on” are for an asexual? That’s like saying “the holocaust” to a Jew.

Catloaf

  • Tested
  • Karma: 14
  • Posts: 1740
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #48 on: February 09, 2010, 02:59:00 PM »

All causal games ever.  I don't believe I need to explain myself on this one.
Logged

Shinra

  • Big Juicy Winners
  • Tested
  • Karma: 34
  • Posts: 3269
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #49 on: February 09, 2010, 03:01:47 PM »

Spore

Spore is everything that's wrong with new games journalism and the gaming industry, as a whole - as if we didn't learn our lesson from John Romero and Daikatana, or from David Perry's Messiah, or Peter Molyneux's Black & White, creating one good game does not mean you can change gaming on it's most basic levels, no matter how much the developer says he can do it.

Gamers should have all had a collective moment of clarity when the man responsible for a game where you wake up to an alarm clock, eat breakfast, get a job, come home, sleep six hours and repeat the cycle, claimed he could make a revolutionary new game that would completely change the way we think about gaming. This is the man who tried to change gaming into something where you do exactly the same thing you are trying to get away from by gaming in the first place. I suppose if you wanted to play the life of a lesbian nymphomaniac? But there's much more visually appealing japanese games for that.

In any case, Spore was built up to be something amazing, and for the first two segments of the game, it more or less delivered on it's promises. All throughout the creature phase I was amazed at how interesting my creatures became, the ways new parts changed my creature and their race, seeing my species proliferate across the earth, springing up to replace the races we'd annihalated or absorbed. But then everything fell apart. It gives the impression that Will Wright focused on making one part of the game really good, fun, and complete, so they could show it at trade shows to prove he was delivering on his promises, and then completely rushed everything else so they could make a quick buck. If anyone thought that Will Wright was above this, maybe you weren't fucking paying attention to The Sims.

The moral of this story is simple. The second you start referring to a developer by his name instead of the studio he works for, his career is over.

There are two positive things I can say about Spore. It's about the best damned Lego game I could ask for without actually purchasing a Lego game. For someone really creative, you can do some fucking incredible things. I had a lot of fun making lovecraft-esque creatures from beyond the stars, insectoid spacefarers, etc. If you can get past the part where the sections of the game these apply to are boring, rushed, and completely devoid of gameplay, you can have hours of fun.

The second silver lining is that gamers have, collectively, removed their firmly wrapped lips from around Will Wright's cock, and for the time being, we've stopped referring to developers by their full name - we still attribute halo to Bungie, we still attribute Warcraft to Blizzard, and we still attribute Fallout 3 to Bethesda. Once the next big success comes around and we start doing the name thing again, hopefully we'll all have learned our lesson and firmly clench our buttocks to avoid the impending rape that was Spore.

Fuck, I'm so glad I didn't pay for this piece of shit.

All MMOs from the last five years
World of Warcraft is a love or hate title - you either think it's the best thing ever, or you hate it for one of two reasons - you're a die hard everquest (or etc) player, or you don't really like MMOs to begin with. I love WoW - I come back to it consistently and I've sunk more hours into it than any other game I've ever purchased. Having said that, I don't love the new culture in MMO development of, 'We're the next WoW killer'. The arrogance of development teams is astounding, and it seems every big liscense or well funded development team these days is talking about how much better than WoW they're going to be - Age of Conan, Warhammer Online, Dungeons and Dragons Online, just to name a few - and they've all turned out to be massive financial failures with deeply flawed gameplay that, at it's core, is essentially a pale imitation of the game they're claiming to kill. DDO and Warhammer have both had to go free to play (warhammer to a lesser extent) simply to attract new potentially paying customers and Age of Conan, after going so far as to give full copies of the game away with magazine sales, is getting ready to shut the game down - not as short a run as Tabula Rasa, (hey, there's another example of first name last name failure!) but damn close. Half of Korea's MMOs these days aren't WoW clones, but they're still pretty bad so I'm not exempting them from this - hell, I could give Mabinogi it's own entry on this list for how fucking disappointing it was.

I'm looking forward to FFXIV to see if it actually attempts to do anything differently from it's predecessor while still remaining separate from wow - it might actually give me hope here. I also want to note that, until I get a chance to play it, Star Trek Online is exempt from this list. I really want to like it but I'm terrified that the starting zone will consist of me, in an enterprise, facing another enterprise with a big yellow exclamation point over it's head. (bridge?) MMO development should not consist of taking WoW, slapping titties/superheroes/warhammer/spaceships/bland fps gameplay/etc over it and calling it a new game.

My Nintendo Wii

Let's create a game console with the same hardware as our previous generation game console, give it a fucking remote with a motion sensor, and sell it for three hundred dollars.

Ensuring that Nintendo gets no third party support on any but the crappiest titles, this box is only useful for playing first party games. At least the gamecube had some standout out of house games, but most of the third party crap on the Wii wouldn't pass as live arcade titles for the x-box. I'm sorry, but they should have just sold us an addon for the gamecube.

A complete lack of HDMI support just makes it all the more frustrating - knowing that the wii can be emulated at full FPS in 1080p, but can't be played on even basic HD on my television is maddening. Bottom five may seem harsh, but I've never regretted a game hardware purchase more. The only reason I haven't sold the thing off to buy a PS3 or 360 yet is because my fiance uses it to play rune factory. Our Nintendo Wii is essentially the rune factory box. Brawl is also OK too, but I've got to be honest - I've never gotten much play out of fighting games.

Doom 3

This game was fucking terrible. There's a reason we haven't seen a Doom 4 yet and probably never will. You know what I'd take? A remake of the first with a new engine - with the same overpowered weapons, underpowered enemies, and impossible odds. Serious Sam was successful by recreating Doom. Doom 3 was a failure by completely fucking missing what made the game fun in the first place. Considering how many hours I logged in Doom and how much I enjoyed the game for it's simple, visceral gameplay, I could not have been more dissapointed by Doom 3. I can't even give it props for story or originality-  everything it did, System shock 2 had done better years before. And as an FPS, the game fails simply by handing you a stream of incredibly shitty weapons. The only guns you get that are worth using you never find any fucking ammo for!

Castlevania: Lament of Innocence

I hate pretentious developers, and Koji Igarashi is no exception. Iga has declared his utter contempt for the original developers of Castlevania in numerous interviews (these same developers later went on to form Treasure, makers of Radiant Silvergun, Ikaruga, Gunstar Heroes, Bangai-O, Sin and Punishment, and McDonald's Treasureland Adventure. With the exception of Silpheed on the Ps2, their titles are overwhelmingly good.) and when some of those developers came back to write some prequels to the original castlevania, he decided to create this piece of shit to invalidate their work.

3d Castlevania has been tried - again and again - by numerous development teams. Castlevania built it's success as being a fuck-hard 2d platforming action game series with huge, lush environments and awesome character/monster design - in these areas, LoI fails, like every 3d Castlevania game before it. It's like the developers at Konami are cursed with amnesia. Either that, or Igarashi thinks he knows better than everyone else, and thinks he can do the same fucking game the same fucking way but somehow create a success. Given the interviews I'd read at the time of this game's launch, I'm going to lean towards the latter.

LoI fails in that, once you have played through the first half hour of the game, you have played the game in it's entirety. You are going to be seeing the same boring cut and paste rooms, the same boring cut and paste 3d models, and the same ugly character model for the entire fucking game. Any platforming to be found is of the boring tomb raider variety - jump over this easy pit, keep moving. Igarashi couldn't even take interesting mechanics from himself, as the 3d environments simply aren't big enough for double jumping, flight, and any kind of large room exploration. Even exploration of sub-branches of the castle, which is something that seems awfully fucking hard to screw up, and has been a staple of the series since Dracula's Curse, just seems like a fucking chore - the repetitive maze like corridors will have you lost in no time, and you'll find yourself crossing your fingers with every turn down a bland corridor that you're going to walk into the boss's room and spare yourself the anguish of fighting one more fucking unavoidable group of boring fucking skeletons.

I don't want to spend this entire post beating up on Iga, so I will say in his defense that if the Dreamcast Castlevania game had gotten finished, it probably would have made this stinking piece of shit look like a fucking masterpiece, but it didn't and this was the garbage we got. Iga doesn't get a free pass because another development team might have made something shittier. This game was fucking garbage, and the fact that it got branded with the Castlevania name at all is a fucking crime.
Logged

Shinra

  • Big Juicy Winners
  • Tested
  • Karma: 34
  • Posts: 3269
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #50 on: February 09, 2010, 03:06:48 PM »

re disgaea hate

you didn't need to go into the item world more than the one mandatory time to beat the game and outside of the god awful voice acting i really don't see what the complaint here is.

I want to append a runner up to my top 5: the entire Onimusha series, but especially 1 and 3. Onimusha 1 for having the worst voice acting in any game ever, and not subtitling the japanese language mode, rendering it unplayable if you want to see the story, and Onimusha 3 for casting Jean Fucking Reno, a professional linguist and actor who can speak both English and Japanese fluently, and then DUBBING HIM OVER FOR THE AMERICAN RELEASE. ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME? - these games were so forgettable, such bumps in the road that I can't really afford either one a top 5 position, but the issues with dubbing are so notable that they at least deserve mention. These two games are everything that was wrong with voice acting during the PS2 era.
Logged

MadMAxJr

  • Tested
  • Karma: 5
  • Posts: 2339
    • View Profile
    • RPG Q&A
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #51 on: February 09, 2010, 03:07:51 PM »

I liked FF6, but that wonderful bug that made magical evade stat worthless makes me question what kind of QA process they had at the time and whether or not those people have been set on fire since then.  Pretty sure games like Neverwinter Nights made sure stats worked before shipping.
Logged
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russell

Got questions about RPGs?

Shinra

  • Big Juicy Winners
  • Tested
  • Karma: 34
  • Posts: 3269
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #52 on: February 09, 2010, 03:20:07 PM »

comparing Neverwinter Nights to FF6 is incredibly unfair. These are two games from two completely different eras with completely different development costs and expectations and completely different sales expectations. As I understand it, FF6 was localized and translated with a skeleton crew, like most JRPGs of the era, and that's why most of these bugs carried over - it's also why a lot of the translations are bad. Because the American market was a secondary market and RPGs weren't big business but were difficult to localize, to make them financially viable their development costs had to be next to nothing. Also I understand they had to use extremely sub-par tools for the localizations and had to resort to hacking to make the game work at points. (I read an article about this when one of the FF6 retranslation projects completed - commentary from one of the original members of the localization team)

Neverwinter Nights on the other hand was developed solely in America, didn't have to be localized, and had high sales expectations from the get go, as it was after the gaming Renaissance in the united states. It was coming from a big studio in a market where RPGs are popular and big sellers, was hyped and expected to make a lot of money from the start.

Having said that, Neverwinter Nights launched with a LOT of fatal and serious bugs which had to be patched immediately after it's launch. If anything, considering FF6's localization budget and the constraints of a non-patchable media, it's amazing the game we got had as few problems as it did.
 
Logged

Kazz

  • Projekt Direktor
  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65475
  • Posts: 6423
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #53 on: February 09, 2010, 03:21:50 PM »

All causal games ever.  I don't believe I need to explain myself on this one.

Did you mean casual?  Or did you actually mean causal?

Either way I don't really understand.

Peggle rules.  Seriously.  So does Plants vs Zombies.
Logged

Kazz

  • Projekt Direktor
  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65475
  • Posts: 6423
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #54 on: February 09, 2010, 03:23:31 PM »

re disgaea hate

you didn't need to go into the item world more than the one mandatory time to beat the game and outside of the god awful voice acting i really don't see what the complaint here is.

The game is grindy as fuck and the mechanics are dull as paste.  The geo square thing is annoying and class micromanagement is ill-explained... in fact, for most of the stuff in the game, it's hard to tell what you need to worry about and what's just extra junk.

And anyway they never tell you that you have to go into the item world just once, or anything else about it other than that it upgrades weapons... I dunno.  I guess the game is cool if you already know everything about it?
Logged

Shinra

  • Big Juicy Winners
  • Tested
  • Karma: 34
  • Posts: 3269
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #55 on: February 09, 2010, 03:25:55 PM »

You have to get an item to level 10 to get to like the second or third dungeon. Doing so explains the mechanics pretty well. I could see grindy to access the endgame/optional content, but you can power through the plot with little deviation from it. Now, Disgaea 2? That game was fucking grindy.
Logged

rootdown

  • how we gonna kick it
  • The Bishop
  • Tested
  • Karma: 2
  • Posts: 66
    • View Profile
    • the dawn chapel
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #56 on: February 09, 2010, 03:30:07 PM »

you guys type a lot of words.  i can't even think of any videogames I didn't like after expecting to like or being particularly overhyped, except team fortress 2 (which can suck my balls).

Disposable Ninja

  • Tested
  • Karma: -65447
  • Posts: 4529
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #57 on: February 09, 2010, 03:31:06 PM »

All causal games ever.  I don't believe I need to explain myself on this one.

This reminds me: I downloaded Phantasy Star II onto my Xbox360. It takes up less room than some of my saves. It's small. When I looked at the XBoxLive Arcade, I thought I would see a sort of 2D revival. I thought I would see small scale RPG epics and Link to the Past knock-offs. I thought I would see some incredibly ambitious games tightly coiled into small packages.

You disappoint me, Video Game Industry.
Logged

Doom

  • ~run liek a wind~
  • Tested
  • Karma: 46
  • Posts: 7430
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #58 on: February 09, 2010, 03:32:11 PM »

Disgaea 1 became popular because the story was clever for the time and you could beat the game almost entirely under your own steam with actual tactics and team make-up.

Aside from Phantom Brave which is pretty good aside from including too many classes that don't matter, Nippon Ichi has capitalized on this by just releasing shittier versions of Disgaea 1 repeatedly, letting the same combat system rot pretty rapidly. And usually regurgitating the exact same writing but slightly worse each time.

you guys type a lot of words.  i can't even think of any videogames I didn't like after expecting to like or being particularly overhyped, except team fortress 2 (which can suck my balls).

It's fun to rant and I'm sure some of the posters are already grinning to themselves that they are very edgy. I myself can't actually think of five games I hate enough to really go ballistic on.

So far: Makai Kingdom, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, Metal Gear Solid 2 and maybe Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time. I dunno about Partners in Time.. it's only real crime is excessive blandness.

There are also titles I just hate certain aspects of but tolerate and love the whole, like Final Fantasy 7 and Super Mario RPG(SNES)
Logged

Kazz

  • Projekt Direktor
  • Admin
  • Tested
  • Karma: -65475
  • Posts: 6423
    • View Profile
Re: Bottom 5
« Reply #59 on: February 09, 2010, 03:58:43 PM »

i traded my copy of Bully to Max for a copy of Makai Kingdom, because I really thought I could get into Makai Kingdom, I really really did

i miss Bully so much
Logged
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 7