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Author Topic: Computer Cheats  (Read 5183 times)

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Doom

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Computer Cheats
« on: February 11, 2010, 10:30:23 PM »

Don't bitch about legitimate challenges, bitch about the programmer kicking you in the junk and calling it a "challenge."

I tried to get back into Maximo after throwing the case across the room last week. A few "enemy hits you through your attacks" and BOTTOMLESS PITS later and I crushed the case into tiny fragments and trashed it. I'm debating whether or not to just end the CD and call it a previously owned game, or to beat the game and then destroy it, having faced the demon head on.

Tell me your own stories. Please keep in mind: I want terrible design decisions and half-assed programming and total bullshit, not "X part is sooooo hard."
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inyandep

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 10:35:00 PM »

the ending of lionheart:legacy of the crusader. if you don't know what game it is, then you're kind of the lucky one.
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Brentai

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2010, 12:35:01 AM »

God damn Mantis.

I swear he's reading buttons.
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Defenestration

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2010, 12:43:28 AM »

Rubber banding in Mario Kart.  :rage:
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Alex

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2010, 01:30:05 AM »

Rubber banding in every racing game ever.  :rage:

Terrible in F-Zero GX.

I put Ninja Gaiden 2 on this list of bullshit difficulty.
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Zaratustra

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Büge

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2010, 05:56:40 AM »

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Disposable Ninja

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2010, 06:15:09 AM »

I was trying to think of a game that might count and then I was like, "Arc the Lad II".

And now I'm pissed just thinking about it.
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Crouton

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2010, 06:45:44 AM »

NMH2, your chances of not being chain-stunned to death by Alice's projectile spam or Jasper's teleport punch, on any difficulty, are apparently random. Million Gunman battle was also terrible because of shoddy platforming mixed with a boss who can shoot you from anywhere via ricochet money bullets.
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Frocto

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2010, 09:25:59 AM »

dn and alex seem to have missed the point of this thread
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Burrito Al Pastor

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2010, 11:36:22 AM »

Auto-scaling equipment and enemy lists. It's lazy game design, and it's fucking stupid. It's why I stopped playing Dragon Age, it's why I cheat like hell in Mass Effect, and why I never play Oblivion without a huge stack of mods. (Also why I never liked FF8.) Automatic scaling of enemies and equipment puts a fucked-up Red Queen Race "balance" on the game where it's no longer meaningful to be a higher level.

Also: RPGs where increases to the health-determining stat don't give you retroactive HP for previous levels. Once again, Oblivion is the chief offender here, although I think Morrowind did it too.
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TA

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2010, 11:45:45 AM »

Autoscaling can be done terribly, like Oblivion, or it can be done decently, like Dragon Age.  I haven't seen it done perfectly, but Dragon Age's method of "When you go to an area, the levels of things in that area are locked" preserves the ability to use level-grinding as a method of self-balancing difficulty while still maintaining a consistent level of challenge through the game.  Special equipment that drops in leveled versions but which doesn't update itself as you level past the tier you got it can suck a dog's dick though.
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Disposable Ninja

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2010, 12:08:59 PM »

dn and alex seem to have missed the point of this thread

Have you played Arc the Lad II? Rhetorical question, of course you haven't. Enemies frequently block dozens of attacks in a row for incredibly reduced or even completely nullified damage -- not to mention how frequently they evade attacks as well. Not to mention the bizarre level curves; at level 35 you'll end up fighting several level 50-65 enemies, often in a row (and dear, whatever you do, don't fucking backtrack, because they will spawn again).

Oh, and dungeons often last upwards of two hours and there aren't any save points. Not exactly cheating, but it is a dick move.

And no, I'm not mistaking difficulty for computer cheating. Arc the Lad II was released by fucking Working Designs. They fully admitted to artificially ramping up the difficulty while they were bringing it over, and the only way to do that would be to fuck with the stat calculations and whatnot.
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TA

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2010, 12:12:49 PM »

7th Saga is kind of famous for this I guess, but they totally fucked up the rate at which you get stats for levelling in the US version so basically the entire game is incredibly hard.  Also you pick your character at the beginning from a list of seven, and if you don't pick the healer then you might end up fighting the healer, and if you do that and you're too high of level then the healer literally cannot be beaten because he heals himself to 100% every couple turns.
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Misha

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2010, 12:19:49 PM »

in gothic 3 you can parry attacks with swords and other weapons etc. but not attacks by animals. This leads to the bizarre scenario where fighting like 6 armed men is WAY easier than fighting 6 wolves. It does not help that getting hit by a wolf stuns you for an instant so it's entirely possible to die to a wolfalanche with no chance of fighting back if you're not careful.
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Doom

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #15 on: February 12, 2010, 10:30:13 PM »

Copied from Steam IM

doomykins: Ok So
doomykins: Maximo is a bad game
doomykins: Every part of it is bad.
doomykins: Including the art direction.
doomykins: There are several parts of the game where it's impossible to distinguish the ground from bottomless pits
doomykins: So at the end of a really long World 5 level, there is a golden key
doomykins: And I'm fighting skeletons on a black void that's supposed to be a bridge
doomykins: I go to grab the key
doomykins: And I fall off the bridge
doomykins: And I'm out of lives
doomykins: And I use a continue
doomykins: And I respawn at the start of the stage
doomykins: And i
doomykins: Drop my controller onto the pile of laundry next to me
doomykins: Calmly reset the PS2 so that I can access the memory card scene
doomykins: And take the disc
doomykins: :) Then I bend it.
doomykins: Then I bend it the other way :D
doomykins: And it shatters.
doomykins: And I pick up the pieces and drop them in my toilet and I spit and take a piss
doomykins: And I flsuh
doomykins: And I go to my backlog and put down "Completed 100%, No Longer Player, Formerly Owned."
doomykins: XD And I feel great.
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Healy

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2010, 11:05:14 AM »

This is less cheating computers than just awful design, but a lot of rom hacks have just stupid difficulty. Like the Super Mario World hacks that practically require you to know every last quirk of the controls of the original to get anywhere.
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JDigital

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2010, 02:17:15 PM »

Games where the AI is perfect and the only way for you to win is to make no mistakes.
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Büge

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #18 on: February 13, 2010, 03:02:14 PM »

That was the linchpin plot element in the Star Trek episode, "Court Martial."
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Saturn

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Re: Computer Cheats
« Reply #19 on: February 13, 2010, 06:38:17 PM »

Not entirely sure if this counts, but Scions and HARBINGER's TROLLMISSILES in ME2.
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