Let's see. I don't want to do the Seafoam Islands quite yet, so I'm going to be Surfing south of Pallet Town to get to Cinnabar Island. In preparation, I grind up a bunch of guys to see what kind of moves they get (and am universally disappointed).
Anyway, current party is Syldra, Lapras. Salsa, Dugtrio. AC/DC, Electrode. FriendZone, Pidgeot. Rowe, Gyarados. Number 235, Primeape.
In the PC Box are: Butterfree, Nidorino, Meowth, Tauros, Eevee, Snorlax, Pinsir, Sandshrew, Onix, Cubone, Mr. Mime, Hypno, Libertreebel, Hitmonchan, Dodrio, Farfetch'd, Ninetales, Dragonair, Zapdos, Clefairy, Ditto.
Let's roll.
Cinnabar Island: Omanyte, named Brick. Aerodactyl, named Airfinger. Also OH RIGHT
Route 12: Venonat
Cinnabar Island: Trade Venonat for Tangela.
Omanyte is depressingly low-level for this stage in the game, but as a Water/Rock type it's going to be my opener for pretty much the entire time I'm on Cinnabar. In the Pokemon Mansion there are Koffings prone to Selfdestruct, and Rock resists that. There are also a lot of Fire-types in the Mansion and the gym, so having a strong Water-type to support Lapras and Gyarados wouldn't hurt. Off to grind...
Pokemon Mansion: Koffing, named Chloramine. Isn't that a pretty girl's name?
Cinnabar Gym: Does anyone ever bother to answer the questions right? If you get it wrong, you get EXP. Blaine's Arcanine bit a chunk or two out of Brick, but Rowe managed to carry the rest of the battle.
One Island - Kindle Road: I'm actually missing reliable data for this area, but I think the rarest encounter is Slowpoke. I get one and name it Hojo.
Two Island - Cape Brink: I already have Slowpoke, Meowth, and Bellsprout. That leaves Spearow. I catch a Fearow and name it Pazuzu.
Three Island: Apparently there's some trouble going on around here, but more importantly, the PC network into Kanto is working. I grab Achem and let her work over a few dozen random encounters, since they're pretty high-level over on Kindle Road. And then she evolves! And then she forgets all of her moves in favor of Cut, Strength, Rock Smash, and Fly. Why did you think I named her that?
Okay, so. I don't need FriendZone to Fly anymore, and I don't need Salsa to Cut. I take those guys out and swap Mo Zilla and Libertree back in. And grind a little more, since my highest-level mon at the moment is my HM slave.
Man why did I bother leveling up my Ninetales. The rare guy on Mt. Ember is Magmar. His name is Crockoduck.
According to my data, there's an equal chance of running into either Geodude or Machop in the Mt. Ember caves. I run into Geodude first, his name's Cliff. While I'm here, I also get Moltres.
(Come to think of it, all the Geodudes who pop out of Rock Smash boulders might be considered freebies, which would have allowed me to get a Machop or Machoke inside the cave. Oh well.)
Having snagged Moltres, I fly back to Three Island and handle the rough-and-tough biker gang who all use Poison-types of a lower level than some of the random encounters around here. Yawn.
Bond Bridge: Venonat, Cole
Berry Forest: Exeggcute, Flan. Now, I've gotta tell you. Exeggcute/Exeggutor is probably my favorite Pokemon. It looks like a bunch of eggs with faces on, right, only the eggs are really seeds and they're all in telepathic contact with each other. Then it evolves and three of the egg seeds disappear and the rest get a giant bipedal coconut-tree body with three heads that look like eggs but are really... well, coconuts, I guess. And it has psychic powers, and a split personality where all three heads feel a different mood at any given time. It's completely ridiculous and none of it makes any damn sense and I love it so much I don't care Grass/Psychic remains the worst type combination imaginable until fourth-gen introduces a Grass/Ice. As soon as I get back to Kanto I put him in the active party and go back to One Island to get him some levels.
Back in Kanto, I fly to Celadon for a Leaf Stone and teach Syldra Surf. Turns out without Brick or Rowe in the party I didn't have anyone with that skill. And now that I have a single HM slave, I head to the Seafoam Islands. Oddly, I don't get into a single random encounter on the way.
Seafoam Islands: Seel, Manna T. I also catch Articuno. I also notice that the wild encounter levels around here make it about as good a grinding spot as One Island and I could have just come here to get Flan's levels up instead. Oh well.
In the Viridian gym, some guy tells me that the truly talented win with style. Well, duh.
GIOVANNI BATTLE
Brick takes out Rhyhorn with Surf. Brick takes out Rhyhorn with Surf. Airfinger takes out Dugtrio with AncientPower (there's not much Dugtrio can do to Rock/Flying so I was hoping for the buff to kick in). Brick takes out Nidoqueen with Surf. Nidoking gets a hit in! Earthquake shaves off half of Brick's HP. Brick takes out Nidoking with Surf.
Route 22: Oh hey, I never fought DICKS here. Brick takes out Pidgeot with Surf. Syldra takes out Exeggcute with Ice Beam. Flan takes out Rhyhorn with Bullet Seed. Since I forgot this battle was even going to happen, I've still got my "Vs. Ground" party, and his Blastoise gives me some trouble before Syldra can take it down with Body Slam. But Syldra takes his Growlithe with Surf. His Alakazam proves remarkably sturdy, though, and manages to KO Airfinger and Brick with Psychic. Achem takes Alakazam down with Strength, but I lost both of my fossils. Major frownie.
I go back to Viridian and release Brick and Airfinger.
Active party: Syldra, Lapras. Flan, Exeggutor. Number 235, Primeape. Crockoduck, Magmar. Tapir, Hypno. Achem, Dragonite.
In the PC Box: Clefairy, Ditto, Meowth, Tauros, Eevee, Snorlax, Pinsir, Sandshrew, Onix, Cubone, Geodude, Dugtrio, Mr. Mime, Fearow, Farfetch'd, Pidgeot, Dodrio, Hitmonchan, Electrode, Gyarados, Seel, Slowbro, Nidorino, Koffing, Tangela, Victreebel, Venonat, Butterfree, Ninetales. Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres I guess.
Route 23: Just duplicates here. Come to think of it, all the routes I have yet to catch on are all duplicates or all water-types (like the aquatic routes around the Seafoam Islands, or fishing in the cities and towns). So to hell with that. To endgame!
Victory Road: Machop, named Lastie.
My guys are around levels 55-58. Rather than take two or three days of pure grinding to get ready for the Elite Four like I did with Emerald, I GameShark myself some Rare Candies and get my dudes up to level 63, which is about where I had them when I finished Emerald. I know, I'm only hurting myself by missing out on the exciting experience of leveling up, and tainting my game with the stench of cheating, and missing out on EV training. Don't care.
Okay. Elite Four party: Exeggutor, Lapras, Machoke, Magmar, Hypno, Electrode.
LORELEI:
Lastie takes out Dewgong with Cross Chop.
Flan hits Slowbro with Bullet Seed, and takes an Ice Beam in return. Another Bullet Seed finishes off Slowbro.
Lastie whiffs Lapras and takes an Ice Beam. Hyper Potion, Ice Beam. Surf, whiff AGAIN. Switch in Electrode, Ice Beam. Thunderbolt, Confuse Ray, Sitrus Berry restores health FUCK CHRIST JUST DIE ALREADY. Thunderbolt, Lapras goes down.
Lapras switches in to take on Cloyster. Drop a Confuse Ray, and Cloyster hurts itself. Hyper Potion on Lastie, Cloyster snaps out of Confusion and uses Hail. Cloyster uses Protect, so Confuse Ray whiffs. Confuse Ray lands and Cloyster hurts itself again. Hyper Potion Flan, Cloyster hurts itself. Switch in Lastie, Cloyster snaps out of confusion and whiffs Protect. The hail stops. Cloyster uses Hail, and Lastie finishes it off with Cross Chop.
Jynx comes in. Lastie Cross Chops it into oblivion. VICTORY.
BRUNO:
Lastie uses Earthquake and nearly KOs Onix, Onix uses Rock Tomb. Bruno uses a Full Restore, Lastie uses Earthquake. Onix responds with an Earthquake of its own, and Lastie finishes Onix off with a Seismic Toss.
I switch in Flan to take on the next Onix so Lastie's speed debuff will wear off. Bullet Seed makes quick work of it.
Hitmonchan uses Sky Uppercut, Flan uses Psychic. Another easy KO.
Hitmonlee uses Mega Kick, Flan uses Psychic. Flan is good at this.
Tapir takes on Machamp. Psychic nearly KOs it, and Scary Face isn't going to KO anyone. Sitrus berry keeps Bruno from using a proper healing item, so while Cross Chop barely scratches Tapir, Psychic takes the VICTORY.
AGATHA:
Gengar uses Double Team. Tapir uses Psychic for the KO.
Golbat uses Confuse Ray and Tapir wonks himself on the head.
Golbat uses Air Cutter and Tapir wonks himself on the head.
Wait, don't Golbats know Bite? I switch Tapir out for Syldra. Golbat Air Cutters again.
Air Cutter scratches Syldra, and Ice Beam KOs Golbat.
Switch in Lastie. Arbok uses Screech, Lastie uses Earthquake.
Agatha switches in Haunter, which ignores Earthquake.
Switch in Flan, and Haunter Curses him.
Haunter's Hypnosis misses, and Flan takes the KO with Psychic.
Lastie and Arbok stare each other down once more. Sludge Bomb hurts, but Earthquake hurts more.
I switch in Tapir to take on the last Gengar. Shadow Ball nearly KOs Tapir, but Psychic is enough to oneshot Gengar. VICTORY.
LANCE:
Dammit Lance opens with his Gyarados and not an actual dragon. Syldra uses Confuse Ray, but Gyarados bites him anyway.
AC/DC switches in and takes a Dragon Rage.
Thunderbolt makes quick work of Gyarados.
Ice Beam beats Dragonair.
Aerodactyl hits with AncientPower, then gets oneshotted with Ice Beam.
Dragonair falls to Ice Beam.
Dragonite falls to Ice Beam. What a boring fight, but VICTORY.
DICKS OAK:
Aerial Ace hurts Syldra, but Ice Beam hurts Pidgeot more. KO.
Syldra takes out Rhydon with Surf, too.
Ice Beam almost drops Exeggutor, and but Giga Drain heals it enough that DICKS doesn't use a healing item. Another Ice Beam finishes it.
Switch in Tapir to take on Alakazam. Take a Psychic for about 40 damage, then critical hit Shadow Ball that sumbitch into the stratosphere. That was for Brick and Airfinger, you bastard!
Since Syldra is hurt, Lastie takes on the Arcanine. Earthquake hurts Arcanine, but Flamethrower drops Lastie. I bring out Crockoduck, stall long enough to heal Syldra and waste a bunch of DICKS' Full Restores, and switch Syldra in for the KO.
And then...
