Presenter: "Our next guest has spent the better part of a decade developing some of the most critically acclaimed franchises, and we're really pleased to welcome to this stage, for the first time-"
GLADDOS: "Stand by for an important announcement from the Aperature Science Emergency Surprise System. Deploying Surprise. In 3.. 2.. 1."
[Gabe walks on stage]
Gabe: "Hi, my name's Gabe Newell and I work at Valve. Um... Now I've been pretty outspoken in my comments about the current generation of game consoles. So I'd really like to thank everyone at Sony for their gracious hospitality... And for not repeatedly punching me in the face. If I seem a little nervous it's 'cause Kevin Butler was introduced to me back stage as the "VP of Sharpening things"."
(goes into actual discussion that I don't feel like transcribing.)