The quality of my teams seem to have been improving lately, so I started using Alistar again, to decent effect. My last game wasn't too promising; I was paired in the top lane with a support Karma (with Yi and Olaf in bottom doing who knows what with each other) against Morde and Nunu.
Turns out, every time our opponents worked up the courage to try something, they'd both charge at the same time, I'd Pulverize them, knock one backwards, help Karma tear him to pieces, and finish off the other moron who for some reason actually stuck around thinking he still had a shot. I think this exact scenario happened like six times, with the same people in the same circumstances. It was so sad, Karma actually ended up giving advice to the enemy team. At one point I realized "jesus i'm a fed alistar, how did that happen". I built a Triforce the first time I went back (which I never do, I usually go Merc Treads, Frozen Heart/Force of Nature in appropriate order and then wing it from there) and we ended up steamrolling them so hard they surrendered after 20 minutes.
I suspect the matchmaking system in this game runs on crack and broken dreams. It's not even that I'm coming off a losing streak and it's having pity on me, I've actually been having a decent run lately. So who knows what's going on there.