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Author Topic: Adventures in Slumberland  (Read 73796 times)

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Classic

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #740 on: October 11, 2011, 11:40:02 PM »

EVERYONE DIGS SCARS!

I was tempted to say that except I don't know how to be consistently sincere in a public forum and scar tissue sucks. Scar tissues are your body lazily kludging together a solution to a problem and, for me at least, suffer from unusual sensitivity and general irritation. I've got a couple near the adductor tendons in my arm and while I'm very sure the tendons themselves weren't damaged, their motion relative to the scar tissue makes them hot.

There's not even any good stories for my scars! Gah.
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Niku

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #741 on: October 12, 2011, 02:04:58 AM »

I have been having indistinct dreams all week that have basically been making me feel like I have not gotten any sleep, culminating today in an inception clusterfuck of me waking up late for work about six times before I finally woke up on time.
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Mothra

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #742 on: October 12, 2011, 10:42:29 AM »

There's not even any good stories for my scars! Gah.

Just make up a good one

I have been having indistinct dreams all week that have basically been making me feel like I have not gotten any sleep

details
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Niku

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #743 on: October 12, 2011, 11:16:28 AM »

IF I HAD THEM THEY WOULDN'T BE INDISTINCT YOU FLUTTERING FOOL
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Büge

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #744 on: October 12, 2011, 11:20:08 AM »

It's obvious someone wants your ideas.
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Mothra

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #745 on: October 12, 2011, 11:50:09 AM »

:0
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Classic

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #746 on: October 12, 2011, 12:06:09 PM »

It's obvious someone wants your ideas.

It's not like I'm going to come up with any good stories for my scars without them.
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #747 on: October 20, 2011, 05:05:07 AM »

Had a dream last night that I was fighting some kind of robot lady. We were in a swamp, I had a laser pistol, and she could turn into a robot tadpole. At some point, we started making out.

Not while she was a tadpole, though. That would have been weird.
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Kashan

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #748 on: October 20, 2011, 05:34:06 AM »

Had a dream last night that I was fighting some kind of robot lady. We were in a swamp, I had a laser pistol, and she could turn into a robot tadpole. At some point, we started making out.

Not while she was a tadpole, though. That would have been weird.

WTB robot lady/tadpole transformer.
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Büge

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #749 on: October 20, 2011, 05:56:23 AM »

Had a dream last night that I was fighting some kind of robot lady. We were in a swamp, I had a laser pistol, and she could turn into a robot tadpole. At some point, we started making out.

Freudian!
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François

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #750 on: October 20, 2011, 09:05:27 AM »

It's dark and silent in my apartment, with kind of a glowy blue mist below knee level. There are a few candles on the floor of my kitchen and bedroom. I try to turn on the lights, but my hands slip ineffectively on the switch. I try to open the front door, but push and pull as I might, it doesn't want to budge.

I turn around and notice my quite clearly dead body slumped in my computer chair.

"Aw man."
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Norondor

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #751 on: October 23, 2011, 08:35:54 PM »

the nuclear apocalypse finally happened, but it was surprisingly toothless, overall. the sky turned a little redder for no reason, and a couple areas of the world were well and truly fucked, but on the whole a lot of the bombs didn't end up detonating properly, so most of the world's infrastructure and indeed population was spared. somehow there wasn't a lot of widespread looting apart from a few bad apples, as most people's reactions were essentially just overwhelming relief, and electricity and communications were back online within a couple days for most people living in or near major cities, though power use had to be kept to a minimum, so no A/C and most people kept their lights off. supermarkets had lines of people waiting to get food, and it wasn't like there were a lot of treats or anything, but it was pretty livable. even the internet was back up within a couple months, and we mostly just had a good laugh about it.

somehow the radiation (which was just normal, kill-you radiation) still made ants become giant, but by giant i mean giant for ants, which is to say about the size of a small cat. they still mostly just ate sugar so they tended to be nuisances, carrying off cans of sprite and stuff. their pheromonal trails were visible (and visibly gross and crusty) to the naked eye, but they weren't all that smart so you could just scuff 'em up with your boot and the giant ants would wander to the end of the trail and then turn around, confused.
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McDohl

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #752 on: October 23, 2011, 11:43:31 PM »

Wow.  You have really boring dreams.
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Norondor

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #753 on: October 24, 2011, 12:06:30 AM »

i woke up feeling quite refreshed!
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NexAdruin

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #754 on: October 30, 2011, 09:34:08 AM »

I dreamed that I was reading ghost stories but in true movie fashion I could just see whatever was in the book playing out like a movie instead of actually having to read. The only one I remember was some guy telling his work buddies that there was a house that was haunted, and as they're all getting drunk he's feeding them more and more tales about people who have gone in there and been eaten up by ghosts and whatnot. So because grown men act like 12 year old boys they all decide to break in and stay the night, which is unnerving in and of itself because the house didn't exist a few hours ago.

Turns out all the stories were true! And the guy who told them, smart enough to sleep by the front door, is the only one to survive. Except he got charged with murdering his coworkers in an attempt to get a promotion over them, which is a worse charge than just plain old murder because they also lock up your family and sell your possessions at auction.

His defense was that he was insane, which was pretty clear from looking at the guy and the fact that he didn't speak at all at his trial. He just kept staring at the floor. He was found guilty anyway. On his way out of the courtroom he let out a screech like a banshee and yelled "Don't ever go to that house on greenwood avenue!"

I don't know what brought any of this along as I haven't been reading ghost stories or even paying attention to the fact that it's halloween time, but I guess this gets me in the right mindset for haunted houses later tonight.
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Friday

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #755 on: October 30, 2011, 09:49:11 AM »

Had a dream that it rained so much the entire Sacramento Valley filled up with water and Nathan Fillion and I had sex while being pulled on an inflatable raft through the neighborhood by orca whales

we waved to schoolchildren as we passed by
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Norondor

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #756 on: October 30, 2011, 10:12:19 AM »

you should consider that for your celebration day activity when Natomas finally drowns
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Lottel

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #757 on: November 03, 2011, 02:14:51 AM »

I had the best dream I had in a long while. I was a loose cannon cop with a partner that had a good way of explaining things to the chief.

At one point I had a chat with a nice old lady while I was shooting up her neighborhood. "Oh? That's a lovely flower arrangement. I should get something for my grandmother. She's not feeling well. What's that smell? Where you cooking waffles? They smell delicious." BANG BANG POW PWAANG


Dream ended with me being called to a house for a noise complaint and after doing my usual research I "figured out" that it was the house a redneck gang uses as a cover. It was also part comic shop. After a long time of boring scoping out and this and that, I shot a guy in the leg because he was holding a socket wrench and he still refused to drop it (more out of shock than anything). So I turned to his collection of toys and threatened to shoot the most expensive one if he didn't start complying.

I want to be a loose cannon cop guys. :;_;: I got results!
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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #758 on: November 15, 2011, 10:56:52 PM »

Quote from: My Wife
Last night I dreamed we were making a vid about Mayan history. As you may know, Mayan history consists of a long chain of until they all ran out of magnets to propel their cars, etc.

So all the kings had trollfaces shopped in. One episode in Mayan supremacy was illustrated thus:

King X and King Y were frenemies. King Y was stronger and had infiltrated Kingdom X with all sorts of spies, plants, and sleeper agents. King X sort of knew about this, but didn't have much he could do about the problem without inviting open aggression. So he invited King Y to share a festival in Kingdom X. In the meantime, expecting to pay a heavy host tribute, he spared no expense.

Meanwhile King Y planned to stage his insurrection during the visit.

So King X supervised the construction of an exquisite jaguar crown. Because King X was sort of pinheaded, he normally wore a small hat. But he ordered this crown to be made slightly roomier in back. This was so he could fit a pressure pad inside the crown. He also had two thick ropy rubber bands placed inside the jaguar mandible halves so that they were held in maximum tension, unless the pressure pad was pushed up. Then the jaws would snap shut, not top-to-bottom, but side-to-side, crushing the windpipe of the wearer.

And he made it the most lavish, exquisite piece of regalia ever seen. And wore it every day, being very careful to slip it over his narrow little flat head so that a brisk wind might pull it off again.

So when the appointed festival came, King Y, as predicted, rolled into town with a huge retinue, leeched the countryside dry, ate, drank, and whored his way to the royal complex, and immediately upon seeing the Jaguar crown, knew he must have it. So after a few nights of watching King X parade this lovely artifact around in front of him, naturally he had to own it. The courtiers in the know provided a convincing amount of resistance to the idea. But no, as King X knew all along, King Y would insist on owning it, and in the gray wee hours of the third morning of the festival, a courier presented the crown to King Y for his morning dressing. "Quick, sire, be seen in this beauty before King X changes his mind." And the courier disappeared.

King Y made great pains to memorize exactly the appearance of the Jaguar Crown, for he wanted to assure himself that this is the same one King X wore, and not a copy. It must be the only Jaguar crown; he would not share the honor with anyone else. Satisfied, he pulled it onto his large, broad head.

When King Y did not appear at breakfast, his planted spies and "loyal" courtiers made haste to his guest chambers, where they found him dead as a doornail, sprawled over a polished silver mirror.

With the creme de la creme of Kingdom Y society trapped inside his walls, King X finished the gala with a round of show trials, executions, and sacrifices.

"¿Problemas?"

And then the rest of the dream dissolved into me and a friend rummaging around in a box of seashells at work while in the background, a TV segment aired about black Jews, featuring Dennis Rodman.
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Büge

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Re: Adventures in Slumberland
« Reply #759 on: December 06, 2011, 11:02:09 AM »

I dreamed that I was involved in some sort of odd war that came to a head in a school's gymnasium. I was chosen as some sort of champion to fight a bunch of guys one-on-one. The first guy was no big deal. I managed to take him down with a spiked club.

The second was... John Goodman. Bullets didn't work. They literally bounced off him like dried peas. Sticking a dagger in his gut seemed to be effective, so I stole a big chef's knife off somebody to hold him at bay. I managed to nick him with it at first, and tripped him while he was staggered. Once he was down, I sawed at his neck until I had severed his head.

I held up my bloody weapon and shouted "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"
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